4/10/2010

BOY SCOUT TRIVIA


  1. President Theodore Roosevelt was the first honorary vice president of BSA
  2. First Boys Life magazine was published in 1912
  3. First World Jamboree was in 1920
  4. Cub Scouting (i.e., boy scouting for younger boys) was started in 1930. The first Cub Scout ranks were Wolf, Bear & Lion. (Lion rank was changed to Webelos rank in 1967.)
  5. "Den Mothers" were first authorized to run cub scout dens in 1936. But it wasn't until 1976 that they were allowed to become Cubmasters and Assistant Cubmasters
  6. The first Blue & Gold banquet was held in 1943
  7. The actual birthday of scouting in the United States is February 8, 1910.
  8. "Cub Scouting" was called "Cubbing" before 1945
  9. Separate cub books for Wolf, Bear & Lion ranks were first issued in 1930
  10. The first official Pinewood Derby was run in 1955
  11. National Summertime Award was created in 1964 to encourage year-round Cub Scouting
  12. The first Cub Scout promise was "to be square." After 1971, it was changed to "to help other people."
  13. Tiger Cub dens were created in 1982 to provide a scouting program for boys 1st graders.
  14. The Scouting for Food national Good Turn project was introduced in 1988
  15. In Baden Powell's original Scouting for Boys handbook, scouts were divided into Wolf Cubs, Scouts, and Rovers
  16. Baden-Powell was in favor of including girls in his scouting program, but was pressured into excluding them by the Victorian Establishment of his time, who were afraid that scouting would "coarsen" young woman.
  17. Scouting is now in all but five countries in the world: China, Cuba, Manymar (formerly Burma), North Korea and Turkmenistan
  18. In England, Tiger Scouts are known as Beaver Scouts
  19. Once boy scouting was established in the United States, it quickly absorbed other organizations for boys such as the Woodcraft Indians, Boy Pioneers, Boy Ranges and Sons of Daniel Boone
  20. Norman Rockwell, the man who painted so many wonderful images of boy scouts, was himself a boy scout
  21. Since its founding, Cub Scouting has enrolled over 50 million boys

4/08/2010

A Thousand Words: Wound Man



Wound Man is an illustration which first appeared in European surgical texts in the Middle Ages.  It was intended to illustrate various wounds their patients may suffer as the result of battle or accident.  According to Wikipedia, this one dates back to the 15th century, but updated versions continued to appear in medical texts for the next 200 years.  I particularly love the weary, resigned expression on his face, as if he's thinking, "... And you think you're having a bad day?"

4/06/2010

Cub Scout Skit #6: The Three Ghosts of Scouting


THE THREE GHOSTS OF SCOUTING



CAST
  • Narrator
  • Ben Scrooge. A kid who thinks scouting is dorky Grungy plaid shirt, baseball hat turned backwards
  • Adam. Ebeneezer’s friend; also a cub scout Scout uniform
  • Ghost of Scouting Past. Scout uniform, old fashioned scout hat, gauze cape
  • Ghost of Scouting Present Scout uniform, Webelos hat, gauze cape
  • Ghost of Scouting Future Scout uniform, tinfoil hat with satellite dish, gauze cape, tinfoil backpack “jet pack”
  • Baden-Powell [non-speaking role] Scout uniform, pith helmet
  • Junior Military Officers [non-speaking role] Scout uniform, cloth military hat
  • William Boyce Overcoat & scarf
  • Scout Scout uniform, old fashioned scout hat
PROPS
Compass
Binoculars


NARRATOR. The skit you are about to witness is called The Three Ghosts of Scouting. The main character is Ben Scrooge, the great-great-great-great-great-great grandson of Ebeneezer Scrooge, who also had what you might call a “ghost problem”. The setting is the Ben’s bedroom, which is a pig pen except for a huge 75” television hanging on one wall.

[BEN enters, looking ticked off. Addresses the audience.]

BEN. This ticks me off! I was just at my friend Adam’s house to ask him to come over and watch America’s Laziest Animal Videos with me, but he says he can’t come over because he’s going to some cub scout meeting this evening! Something called “Join Scouting Night.” I mean, who in their right mind would want to join scouting? First, they have to wear those dorky uniforms. Then they spend all their time earning patches instead of watching television all day like I do. And they march in parades and collect food for people in need … I mean, how lame can you get? I can’t believe he’d rather be in cub scouts than hang out with me!

[GHOST OF ADAM enters]

ADAM [using voice that is sonorous & spooky]. Ebeneezer Scrooge!

BEN. I hate that name!  Hey, Adam, is that you? I thought you were supposed to be your stupid cub scout meeting this evening! What are you doing here?

ADAM. Adam is at his cub scout meeting. I am the ghost of Adam, and I’ve come to talk to you about your attitude towards scouting.

BEN. How can you be a ghost if Ben’s not dead?

ADAM. I have no idea – you’d have to ask the writers. All I know is that I’m supposed to come and warn you that you are about to be haunted by three ghosts. Their purpose will be to teach you about the true purpose and meaning of scouting.

BEN. Do I have to? I mean, I was right in the middle of a really good Gilligan’s Island rerun …

ADAM [in a more normal tone of voice]. Give me a break! Gilligan’s Island will be in reruns forever, but this is a “one night only” offer. So expect the first ghost when the bell tolls 6.

BEN. 6 is bad for me … that’s when America’s Stupidest Home Videos comes on. Can’t we do it at 8? No … that’s when America’s Ugliest Crooks comes on. How about 9?

ADAM. Expect the first ghost when the bell tolls 6!

[GHOST OF ADAM glides offstage.]

BEN. Okay, this sucks. Or maybe I was just imagining the whole thing? I mean, it wouldn’t be the first time I’d had a hallucination after sucking down 3 chili cheese dogs and a Super Big Gulp slurpee at the 7-11. Talk about brain freeze!

[GHOST OF SCOUTING PAST enters from behind.]

GHOST PAST. Ebenezer Scrooge!

BEN. Ack! Wish you guys would stop sneaking up on me like that! And stop calling me Ebeneezer too – my name is Ben, okay? Ben! Who are you supposed to be?

GHOST PAST. I am the Ghost of Scouting Past.

BEN. So much for the slurpee theory. Well, I guess you might as well tell me why you’re here. But if it’s to improve my attitude towards scouting, fat chance. I still think the whole thing’s pointless and dorky.

GHOST PAST. Do you? Well, then … what do you think about that gentleman over there? 

[Points to Baden-Powell, who appears to be instructing several junior military types. Among other things, he points to a compass he is holding & then in different directions, clearly teaching them how to use a compass to navigate. Then he borrows a pair of binoculars, points to something off on the horizon, & hands the glasses to each officer in turn so that they can locate the object too. Pantomime continues as BEN and GHOST OF SCOUTING PAST talk.]

BEN. The one wearing the old fashioned military uniform? Looks like he’s trying to teach that other military guys how to do something.

GHOST PAST. The year is 1907, and that’s General Baden-Powell, an English military general and a big hero in his country. The men with him are military scouts. One of Baden-Powell’s jobs is to train military scouts, but he’s having a hard time of it. He’s discovered that most young boys entering the military don’t seem to have any scouting skills at all.

BEN. What do you mean, scouting skills?

GHOST PAST. Well, in the military, scouts are critical to preserving the safety of their whole unit. They have to be able to locate passable routes and sources of food and water. They need to be able to find the enemy and alert their unit to where they are so that they aren’t ambushed. This means that scouts need to be able to be physically strong, mentally alert, and possess skills such as navigating by compass, building fires, tying knots, and surviving in the wilderness. Without competent scouts, an army can perish.

BEN. Okay – I guess that’s kind of cool. But you’re talking about military scouts, not boy scouts.

GHOST PAST. Funny you should mention that, because an interesting thing happened when General Baden-Powell got back to England. Turns out young boys had found his manual on military scouting and were training themselves to be military scouts! They thought that learning to camp & tie knots & navigate sounded cool too. So Baden-Powell wrote a scout training manual that was more appropriate for boys, and eventually the boys formed themselves into groups and began calling themselves boy scouts.

BEN. No kidding? Boy scouts were originally … like … junior military scouts?

GHOST PAST. No kidding.

BEN. But all this happened in England. Why did boy scouts end up in America?

GHOST PAST. What do you see over there, Ebenezer Scrooge?

BEN. I see an old guy stumbling around like he can’t see where he’s going.

GHOST PAST. The year is now 1910 and that gentleman is William Boyce, an American businessman visiting London on business. Watch as the past unfolds …

[BOYCE enters, waving arms through the air as if he can’t see where he’s going]

BOYCE. Confound this fog! They told me that London fogs could be thick, but this is ridiculous! I have no idea where I am, nor any idea of which way I should be going! We certainly don't have fogs like these back in Chicago, where I come from!

[SCOUT enters, approaches BOYCE.]

SCOUT. Good evening, sir! You seem to be a little lost. Can I help you find your destination?

BOYCE. Goodness me -- what are you? You seem to be a boy, but you’re wearing a military uniform.

SCOUT. I'm a Boy Scout, sir. It would be my privilege to assist you.

BOYCE. Boy Scout, eh? I never heard of such a thing back in America! But I certainly do need some assistance. Tell you what – if you can get me back to my hotel, I’ll give you a dollar.

SCOUT. I’ll be glad to help you sir, but I won’t accept your money. Scouts don’t require any reward for doing good deeds.

BOYCE. Boy scouts … what a great idea! You know, I think I’m going to have to start one of these boy scout organizations as soon as I get back to the United States!

[BOYCE & SCOUT exit.]

GHOST PAST. And that’s exactly what William Boyce did – returned to the United States and founded the Boy Scouts of America. We’ve come a long way since 1910, but today’s scout uniforms are still modeled after military uniforms, and the activities and patches that scouts earn are still geared towards teaching scouting skills like camping, physical fitness, orienteering, how to use tools and administer first aid.

BEN. Okay, okay. I get it. I guess the uniforms and patches aren’t as dorky as I thought. But I still wouldn’t have turned down that guy’s dollar. I mean, that was enough money to buy a soda AND pork rinds!

GHOST PAST [sighing]. Clearly you’re going to need another ghost … I’ve done all I can!

[GHOST PAST glides offstage.]

BEN. Well, I am definitely having a weird night! Maybe Mom’s right – maybe I shouldn’t have watched that 72 hour non-stop Spook-a-Thon on the Horror Channel. Though I have to admit that while I remember seeing ghost dogs, ghost horses, ghost dollhouses, ghost cars, ghost hospitals, ghost witches, ghost pirates, ghost soldiers, ghost zombies, and ghostbusters, I don’t ever remember seeing anything about ghost scouts.

[GHOST OF SCOUTING PRESENT enters from behind.]

GHOST PRESENT [sonorous & spooky]. Ebenezer Scrooge!

BEN. Ack! You guys have GOT to stop doing that to me!

GHOST PRESENT. Scaring you? Sorry, bub, but it’s in our ghost contract that we have to scare people.

BEN. No, I mean you have GOT to stop calling me Ebeneezer! For the last time, I hate that name!

GHOST PRESENT. Fine! Have it your way, Ben. Can we move this along? Busy night, lots of people still to haunt ….

BEN. I know, I know -- you’re here to tell me more about scouting and show me why it’s cool, right?

GHOST PRESENT [sarcastic]. The Ghost of Scouting Past warned me that you had an attitude. Let me ask you a question: what sorts of people do you look up to in your life? Who are your heroes?

BEN. That’s easy. Steven Spielberg, man – he’s a genius! Made those Indiana Jones movies, and then went on to produce Anamaniacs and those American Tale movies, Back to the Future, Men in Black, Jurassic Park … did you see those dinosaurs? I’ve watched every movie and television show he made about 50 times.

GHOST PRESENT. I can believe it. But here’s something I bet you don’t know – Steven Spielberg’s a boy scout.

BEN. No way!

GHOST PRESENT. Way.

BEN. Okay – well, how about Walt Disney? I’ve watched those movies about 50 times too!

GHOST PRESENT. Scout.

BEN. No way! Okay, well, what about my favorite baseball player, Hank Aaron?

GHOST PRESENT. Scout.

BEN. President Bush? President Clinton? President Ford? President Kennedy?

GHOST PRESENT. Scout, scout, scout, scout. You got any more for me?

BEN. Neil Armstrong, the first guy to set foot on the moon?

GHOST PRESENT. Please, that’s an easy one! He explored the most perilous and unknown territory in human history. Of course he started off as a boy scout. In fact, over half of U.S. astronauts started off as boy scouts.

BEN. Well … geez! That’s kind of impressive! All those guys are really boy scouts?

GHOST PRESENT. Darn tootin’.

BEN. Okay – I’m just wondering here … don’t think I’m really interested or anything … but what do scouts actually do at these meetings that they go to?

GHOST PRESENT. Learn scouting skills. Play games. Sing songs. Tell corny jokes. By the way, did you hear the one about the scout who kept spinning around in one place?

BEN. Definitely not.

GHOST PRESENT. He wanted to do a good turn. Get it?

BEN. Guess you weren’t kidding about the corny jokes.

GHOST PRESENT. If you think that’s corny, you should see the skits.

BEN. I guess that sounds kind of fun. Maybe I was wrong about scouting. I suppose I should thank you for dropping by, Ghost of Scouting Present.

GHOST PRESENT. No trouble, I was on my way to Join Scouting Night anyway. See you there?

BEN. I don’t know – I haven’t decided.

[GHOST OF SCOUTING PRESENT glides offstage. GHOST OF SCOUTING FUTURE glides on from behind]

GHOST FUTURE [excited, not spooky]. Ebeneezer Scrooge!

BEN. If one more ghost calls me Ebenezeer Scrooge I swear I’m going pound him!

GHOST FUTURE. You can’t pound ghosts, you doofus. We’re transparent. Anyway, I’m Ghost of …

BEN. … Scouting Future. Yeah, yeah, I know. Well? What have you got for me? Not long ago I though scouting was lame, but since then I’ve learned a lot of interesting stuff about it. I suppose you’re going to show me something that’s going to change my mind for good?

GHOST FUTURE. Are you kidding? I’m way too busy to sit around and argue with a stiff like you! Come on, we’ll be late!

BEN. Late for what?

GHOST FUTURE. Jet packing, of course! Today our troop’s off to the beach to jet pack across the ocean and camp on the most recently formed Hawaiian island. There’s about 200 of them now, you know.

BEN. Jet packs?

GHOST FUTURE. No – Hawaiian islands! Are you coming, or are you going to spend the rest of your life watching television?

[GHOST FUTURE races offstage. Ben looks towards audience.]

BEN. I give up – that has to be about the coolest thing I ever heard of! Scouting is awesome! Wait for me!

[ADAM reappears, catching BEN’s attention before he can race offstage.]

BEN. Adam, is that you? Or is it just the ghost of you?

[Pokes Adam to determine if he’s solid. Adam, indignant, shoves him in return.]

ADAM. Stop poking me! What are you talking about? Of course it’s me.

BEN. Shoot! Does that mean that Join Scouting Night is over?

ADAM. No, it’s still going on. I’m just taking a walk while they talk to the parents.

BEN. You’ve got to take me to Join Scouting Night! I want to be a cub scout too!

ADAM. Are you sure? I thought you thought scouting was kind of dorky.

BEN. Turns out I was way wrong. Sorry about that.

ADAM. Okay then, if you’re sure. Let’s go ….!


NARRATOR. I hope everyone in this room now has a clearer understanding of where scouting has come from, and how far it's come over the past 94 years. This Blue & Gold Banquet celebrates the 94th birthday of scouting. In other words, it’s been 94 years since William Boyce started the Boy Scouts of America. So when I say go, let's all yell "Happy Birthday Scouting!

4/05/2010

Cub Scout Skit #5: The History of Scouting


This is a great skit for Blue & Gold Banquets, as it reviews the history of scouting.

THE HISTORY OF BOY SCOUTING …
as related by General Baden-Powell himself!

CAST
Baden-Powell [wearing military uniform or 1900s garb]
Adult Male Teacher [wearing clothes from 1900s]
Juliette Gordon Low [wearing clothes from 1900s]
William Boyce [wearing overcoat & muffler]
Scout 1 [wearing uniform]
Scout 2 [wearing uniform]
Scout 3 [wearing uniform]
Scout 4 [wearing uniform]
Scout 5 [wearing uniform]
Little boy [~1st grade, wearing modern day clothes]

PROPS
Compass
Aid to Scouting handbook (replica cover printed from internet)
Scouting for Boys handbook (replica cover printed from internet)
Smoke machine

ACT ONE. INTRODUCTION

BADEN-POWELL: Greetings and salutations, everyone! My name is Sir Robert Stephenson Smyth Baden-Powell, but you can call me General Baden-Powell for short. My, but there certainly are a lot of fine young men here tonight! In my career as a British Army Officer, I've had the privilege to serve alongside many fine men such as yourself!

Not to boast or brag, but I have had a successful career as a British Army officer, if I do say so myself. I've served in such exotic countries as India, Afghanistan, and South Africa. It was during my service is South Africa I became something of a national hero back in England. In my opinion, the British Army is one of the best military organizations in the world. But I won't say that we haven't had our problems. For instance, when I was serving in India, my troop was assigned to serve as scouts for the main army. Can any of you fine fellows tell me what scouts are supposed to do as part of an army?

That's right! As scouts we were expected to know how to follow a trail, tell directions, recognize danger, find food and water, and other important duties. Well, imagine my surprise when I discovered that many of my men did not know the first thing about basic first aid or outdoor survival skills! Unacceptable!! So I started dividing the men into small groups for instruction, using competition and games to help them learn the skills and knowledge necessary to be scouts. AND, I wrote a little handbook, which I called Aids to Scouting which I gave them to help them remember what they learned. A handy little handbook it was too, if I do say so myself.

And that's where the story should have ended. Little did I know that I was in for a big surprise when I returned to England after retiring from the Army! Here's what happened.

ACT TWO. BOY GUIDES

BADEN-POWELL: What's going on here? Who are these boys, and what's that uniform they're wearing? Good heavens -- is that MY handbook they are consulting?

TEACHER: Why, it's General Baden-Powell! What an honor it is to meet you, sir!

SCOUT 1: General Baden-Powell? Wow! We love this handbook you wrote for scouts! In fact, some of us boys have formed groups called Boys' Brigades to study your handbook and learn how to be good junior scouts!

TEACHER: You have no idea, sir, what an impression your handbook has made on the young men of this country. Why, your handbook is more popular among boys these days than jump ropes! I'm a teacher, and I have been using the handbook to help the boys learn basic first aid, lifesaving, and other survival skills. It's a wonderful book, sir, though I admit there is one small problem with it.

BADEN-POWELL: Really? What's that?

TEACHER: Well, sir -- the book is written for men -- for soldiers, in fact. I do wish there were a version that would be more appropriate for these young men to use.

BADEN-POWELL: Good heavens! I had no idea my little handbook would have such an impact. Of course I'll write a version especially for boys.

BADEN-POWELL: And do you know? That's exactly what I did! I called the handbook Scouting for Boys, and it was published in 1907. This is what it looked like. Suddenly, almost before I knew what was happening, Boy Brigades had formed all over England! In 1907 they organized a camp at Brownsea Island where they could practice acting like patrols. I hear you boys have a similar sort of camp, which you call Goshen Reservation. By 1909, only 2 years later over 10,000 boys attended a Boys Brigade Rally at the Crystal Palace. Well, I was amazed out how popular boy scouting had become, and how quickly! But do you know what amazed me even more? Until then, I had always assumed that only boys would be interested in my little scouting manual. But who should also show up at the Crystal Palace that day but 6,000 GIRLS, all of them calling themselves GIRL SCOUTS! Astonishing!

LOW: You shouldn't be so surprised, General Baden-Powell! Girls find your scouting handbook just as interesting as boys! As you know, my name is Juliette Gordon Low, an American living here in England for the time being. Since I've been here, I've become quite good friends with you and your wife, I like to think. Well, a few years ago I took the liberty of starting a group of Girl Guides in Scotland, and it was a huge success. Now there are thousands of Girl Guides here in England too!

BADEN-POWELL: Girl Guides? Astonishing! But, as Mrs. Low just pointed out, so far our little movement was still confined to England. So far no other countries had adopted scouting. But all that changed in 1910, when something quite amazing happened.

ACT THREE. SCOUTING SPREADS TO AMERICA

BOYCE: Confound this fog! They told me that London fogs could be thick, but this is ridiculous! I have no idea where I am, nor any idea of which way I should be going! We certainly don't have fogs like these back in Chicago, where I've just come from!

SCOUT 3: Good evening, sir! You seem to be a little lost. Can I help you find your destination?

BOYCE: Goodness me -- what are you? Why are you wearing that uniform?

SCOUT 3: I'm a Boy Scout, sir. It would be my privilege to assist you.

BOYCE: Boy Scout, eh? I never heard of such a thing back in America! But I certainly do need some assistance. Can you tell me how to get to where I'm going?

SCOUT 3: I'll do better than that, sir. I'll escort you there.

[ESCORTS HIM]

SCOUT 3: Here you are, sir! Have a nice evening!

BOYCE: Just a moment! Won't you accept this coin as a thank you for assisting me?

SCOUT 3: No thank you, sir. I am a Scout, and I won't take anything for helping.

BOYCE: Well -- isn't that a remarkable thing! Boy Scouts! We could use something like that back in the United States!

ACT FOUR. CHANGING AND GROWING

BADEN-POWELL: And, do you know, that's exactly what Mr. William Boyce, a Chicago businessman, did! Unfortunately no one knows the name of the scout that helped Mr. Boyce find his way that foggy London evening, but here in the United States I'm told that everyone remembers Mr. Boyce as the man who introduced Boy Scouting to America.

SCOUT 4: Excuse me, General Baden-Powell, but I wonder if you could help me with a little problem?

BADEN-POWELL: Certainly, young man! What problem is that?

SCOUT 4: Well, I love being a boy scout and all, but my little brother here won't leave me alone! I keep telling him that scouting is only for boys 11yrs old and older, but he insists that he wants to be a scout too. Couldn't you organize some sort of program for younger boys, so that they can enjoy scouting too?

BADEN-POWELL: I don't see why we can't create a scouting program appropriate for these younger folks. We can call it "Cubbing," and divide the program into ranks so that each boy can participate in a program that's just right for their age. How would you like to be a Tiger Cub, little guy?
Little brother. Yeah!

ACT FIVE. EPILOGUE

BADEN-POWELL: And even now, almost 100 years later, we are still making changes & improvements to the program! The uniform that cub scouts wear has changed, for instance; and we've now written handbooks for each rank of scouts, instead of having boys of all ages use the same handbook. But some things haven't changed, like the emphasis on first aid and outdoor survival skills.

I like to think that you fine boys and men sitting out there in the audience right now are well on your way towards learning the sorts of skills that will make you successful in whatever career you pursue! Indeed, I never tire of hearing about the number of successful United States generals, congressmen, astronauts and other leaders who were themselves boy scouts as lads!

<5 scouts troop onstage. Each takes a step forward before speaking>

SCOUT 1: Boy Scouting teaches leadership, duty, honor, and patriotism. Some famous military men that were boy scouts include: Donald Rumsfeld, General William Westmoreland, General Colin Powell, and Admiral Jay Johnson

SCOUT 2: Boy Scouting teaches physical fitness, exercise, teamwork and good sportsmanship. Some famous athletes who were boy scouts include: Hank Aaron, Bruce Jenner, Nolan Ryan & Bill Bradley (who a pro basketball star and a US Senator)

SCOUT 3: Boy scouting teaches leadership, duty, honor, and public service. Some famous politicians who were boy scouts include: Presidents Bill Clinton, John F. Kennedy & Gerald Ford, as well as countless senators, congressmen, and cabinet members, such William Bennett

SCOUT 4: Boy scouting teaches scoutcraft, creativity and self-expression. Some famous actors & artists who were boy scouts include: Walter Cronkite, Walt Disney, Harrison Ford, Branford Marsalis, Steven Spielberg & Jimmy Stewart

SCOUTS 5: Boy scouting teaches natural science, exploration, survival skills and courage. Some famous scientists & explorers who were boy scouts include: Neil Armstrong, James Lovell, & Bill Gates. In fact, over half of U.S. astronauts were boys scouts when they were young!


SCOUTMASTER: I hope everyone in this room now has a clearer understanding of where scouting has come from, and how far it's come over the past 93 years. Let's give a big hand to our performers. More importantly, let's give a big cheer in honor of boy scouting & almost 100 years of tradition, duty, responsibility, and service. When I say go, let's all yell "Happy Birthday Scouting!"

4/04/2010

Cub Scout Skit #4: A Trip to Egypt


 
A TRIP TO EGYPT

CAST
Ohio Jones, famous adventurer/professor
Student 1-4
(other scouts can join in as students)

PROPS
Pith helmets

LEADER: At last! By the look of those huge pyramids over there, we must finally be in ancient Egypt, Land of the Pharoahs, or my name isn’t Ohio Jones, the famous archeologist!

Now, my young students, it is time for me to teach you how to keep your senses keen for the things around us. You can’t hope to learn about the present, or the past, without using ALL your senses.

[They walk a few steps. Suddenly Leader halts and holds finder in the air, as if testing the wind]

There … did you feel that?

STUDENT #1 [wiping the sweat from his forehead]: I don’t feel anything except sweat pouring from my face.

LEADER. The temperature changed as we came over the hill! That means there’s an oasis nearby. You need to be aware of these things, for someday they could save your life.

[They walk a few more steps. Suddenly Leader halts and cups his ear, as if hearing something]

There … did you hear that?

STUDENT #2 [groaning]: I didn’t hear anything except the sound of my muscles groaning.

LEADER: That was the sound of the wind blowing across the dunes. It tells you when a sandstorm is approaching so you can be prepared for it. As I keep telling you, you need to be aware of these things, for someday they could save your life!

[They walk a few more steps. Suddenly Leader halts and smells the air, as if picking up an aroma]

There … now SURELY you smelled that?

STUDENT #3: All I smell is my sweaty safari shirt.

[everyone pretends to suddenly notice the smell of the shirt and groans, backing away]

LEADER: You ignorant lads … I’m talking about the smell of campfire smoke in the air! Sure, it could be just a wandering shepherd. But it COULD be an enemy too. You need to pay attention! You need to stay alert!

[They walk a few more steps. Suddenly Leader halts and points at the last boy in line.]

Now you CAN’T tell me you didn’t see THAT!

STUDENT #4 [trying to pretend he is smarter than the others]: Ummmm, yeah … of course I saw it!

LEADER [pointing down to the boys shoes]: Well, then, why on earth did you step in it? Yuck!
[Boys all realize scout has stepped in camel dung and say things like -- “yuck – camel poop!” - "pee-you!" - “I can’t believe you stepped in camel poop!”]

4/03/2010

Cub Scout Skit #3: Glug Cola Commercial

GLUG SODA COMMERCIAL

CAST/PROPS:
Director, carrying megaphone
Clapboard guy, carrying clapboard
Cowboy, wearing cowboy hat
Owner of Glug Cola
Basketball player, carrying basketball
Bullfighter, carrying red cape/towel
Rock Star, carrying toy guitar
President of the US, carrying US flag
Cameraman, carrying videocamera
Optional (music): rock song, "Hail to the Chief"

SETTING:
A Movie Director, the Owner of the Glug Soda Company, and a Cameraman are at a film studio, trying to film a commercial for Glug Soda

DIRECTOR: Okay, Mr. Big. We're ready to start filming your commercial for Glug Soda. You said you wanted someone hot and sweaty act as Spokesman, so I've hired a few actors to play the roll. Let's try it with Actor #1 first. Ready, everyone? [points to cameraman] Okay, ROLL CAMERAS!

CLAPBOARD GUY [slapping clapboard]: GLUG SODA COMMERCIAL, TAKE ONE!

COWBOY SPOKESMAN [removing cowboy hat and wiping imaginary sweat off his brow]: Phew! After a hard day of ropin' and gunfightin' and chasin' bad guys, nothin' soothes my achin' doggies like the cool, wet taste of Glug Soda!

OWNER: No, no, no! I admit that Cowboys are hot and sweaty, but they also spend their time covered in mud and smelling like cows! I don't want someone like that representing Glug Soda! I demand that you get me someone who's clean and doesn't smell like a campfire!

DIRECTOR. Ummm …. Okay! Well, let's try this a different way. Actor #2, are you ready? [points to cameraman] ROLL CAMERAS!

CLAPBOARD GUY [slapping clapboard]: GLUG SODA COMMERCIAL, TAKE TWO!

BASKETBALL SPOKESMAN [dribbling basketball]: After 40 minutes pounding the boards, a dude's gotta do what a dude's gotta do. And that's heading for the nearest can of Glug soda …

OWNER: No, no, no! I admit he's hot, sweaty, clean and non-stinky, but do you think I'm a billionaire or something? I can't afford to hire a major league basketball player as a Spokesman! I demand that you get me a Spokesman I can afford!

DIRECTOR [looking uncertain]: Well, okay … I suppose we can try something else. Is Actor #3 ready to go? He is? Okay … let's give this a shot! [looks at cameraman] ROLL CAMERAS!

CLAPBOARD GUY [slapping clapboard]: GLUG SODA COMMERCIAL, TAKE THREE!

BULLFIGHTER SPOKESMAN [waving red cloth]: Ola! I am Alisandro, the famous bullfighter! In my country, we like to top off a hard day of bullfighting by drinking many cans of icy cold Glug soda!

OWNER: No, no, no! I admit he's hot, sweaty, clean, non-stinky and cheap. But I'm not trying to sell Glug Soda in Spain, I'm trying to sell it here in the U.S. of A! I demand a spokesman that symbolizes American culture!

DIRECTOR [frustrated]: Fine … it's your money we're wasting! Can you get me another actor back there? Yes? [looks at cameraman] ROLL CAMERAS!

CLAPBOARD GUY [slapping clapboard]: GLUG SODA COMMERCIAL, TAKE FOUR!

[Loud rock music starts; Rock Star Spokesman dances on stage playing air guitar]

ROCK STAR SPOKESMAN [waiting until music stops to talk]: Rock on with Glug soda!

OWNER. No, no, no! I admit he's hot, sweaty, clean, non-stinky, cheap, and represents American culture, but I'm not going to stand by and let some long-haired hippy representing Glug Soda! I demand that you get me someone who's patriotic!

DIRECTOR [Now thoroughly fed up]: Yeah … right! [looks offstage] Have we got another actor back there? We do? Thank goodness! Okay, bring him out! [points to cameraman] ROLL CAMERAS!

CLAPBOARD GUY [slapping clapboard]: GLUG SODA COMMERCIAL, TAKE FIVE!

PRESIDENT SPOKESMAN [waving a flag with one hand and waving to the crowd with the other]: My fellow Americans … you may remember me from when I was President of the United States! Let me tell you, nothing makes a person sweat like getting questioned before a hostile Congress! That's why I've switched to Glug soda!

OWNER: THAT'S IT! Hot, sweaty, clean, non-stinky, cheap, represents American culture and patriotic too! Wonderful! Fabulous! Ideal!

DIRECTOR [still looking fed up]: Well, thank goodness for that! THAT'S A WRAP!

CAMERAMAN: Wait a minute …

[Everyone turns from what they're doing to glare angrily at him.]

DIRECTOR: What do you mean, wait a minute? We’ve been here all day filming this stupid commercial!

CAMERAMAN [smiles nervously and shrugs]: I guess that explains why I ran out of film!

4/02/2010

Cub Scout Skit #2: The "Real" Thanksgiving Day


The "Real" First Meeting Between the Pilgrims and Indians

CAST:
Pilgrims 1-5
Indians 1-4

PROPS:
Optional: pilgrim hats for pilgrims
Optional: feathered headdresses for Indians


[5 Pilgrims are rowing towards the new world.]

PILGRIM 1: We've been rowing this boat for 4 months now -- even my callouses have callouses!

PILGRIM 2: I definitely need a vending machine

PILGRIM 3: I definitely need a bathroom.

PILGRIM 4: Hey, isn't that a rock over there? Yes, it IS a rock! Land ho!

PILGRIM 5: Thank goodness! I wonder what kind of place this is, and who lives here?

[Pilgrims step out of boat and lay down oars. They are met by Indians.]

INDIAN 1: How.

PILGRIM 1: Does that mean "hello" in your native speech?

INDIAN 2: No, he's asking how you got here, black and white strangers. Don't they have color where you come from? [Turns and speaks directly to audience.] And they call us barbaric?

PILGRIM 2: Sure they have color -- we just don't believe in it. Listen, we've been paddling for a while to get here and, frankly, we're pooped. I don't suppose you have any food you could loan us?

INDIAN 3 [always has eager/goofy expression on his face]: Are you kidding? We've got corn bread, corn on the cob, corn flakes, corn meal, popcorn, corn oil, corn chex, corn nuts, corn pone, and corn curls!

INDIAN 4: Thanks a lot, Dances with Corn. You should hear his corny jokes.

PILGRIM 3: I think we just did.

INDIAN 1: If you're feeling perky, we could go hunt some turkey.

PILGRIM 4: What's a turkey?

INDIAN 2: Big bird. Many feathers. Really stupid, but tasty.

PILGRIM 5: After 4 months of rowing I'm not sure we're up to hunting smart birds, but stupid birds we can probably handle. Can we join you for a hunt?

INDIAN 3: And then you can join us for a feast! We'll have roast turkey and corn, and then afterwards we'll challenge you turkeys to a Nintendo competition.

ALL PILGRIMS [looking confused]: Nintendo? What's Nintendo?

[Indians smile knowingly.]

INDIAN 4: Come into my teepee, palefaces. I have a feeling you're going to like it here in the New World!

[Gestures for everyone to follow him to his teepee. Everyone walks offstage.]

4/01/2010

Cub Scout Skit #1: Pet Shop Complaint Department

 
A DAY AT THE PET SHOP COMPLAINT DEPARTMENT

ROLES:
Pet store employee
customers 1-12
dog

PROPS:
sign that says "Pet Shop Complaint Dept"
Optional: stuffed animals representing pets
_______________
PET SHOW EMPLOYEE stands at desk beside sign that reads “Pet Store Complaints & Returns.”

CUSTOMER #1 WALKS UP TO TABLE

CUSTOMER #1: “My dog vanished! I want another one!”

EMPLOYEE: “A dog can’t just vanish. What happened to him?”

CUSTOMER #1: “I accidentally spilled SPOT REMOVER on him and he just disappeared!”

CUSTOMER #1 WALKS OUT
___________
CUSTOMER #2 WALKS UP TO TABLE

CUSTOMER#2 : “I want to return this dog. All he does is play chess all the time.”

EMPLOYEE: ”A dog that plays chess? That’s amazing! He must be the smartest dog in the world!”

CUSTOMER #2: “Well, he’s not that that smart. I beat him three games out of five.”

CUSTOMER #2 WALKS OUT
__________
CUSTOMER #3 WALKS UP TO TABLE

CUSTOMER #3: “I took my dog to a movie and he cried and howled through the whole thing.”

EMPLOYEE: “You mean he understood the movie? That’s the most amazing thing I ever heard!”

CUSTOMER #3: “You don’t understand! He loved the book!”

CUSTOMER #3 WALKS OUT
__________
CUSTOMER #4 WALKS UP TO TABLE

CUSTOMER #4: “I need to return this cat. He keeps using the internet while I’m gone.”

EMPLOYEE: “Are you sure?”

CUSTOMER #4: “Well, SOMEONE changed my user name to Fluffy and I can’t find my mouse anywhere!”

CUSTOMER #4 WALKS OUT
____________
CUSTOMER #5 WALKS UP TO TABLE

CUSTOMER #5: “I want to return this hummingbird. All it does is hum.”

EMPLOYEE: ”Well, what did you expect?”

CUSTOMER #5: ”I want a hummingbird that knows the words!”

CUSTOMER #5 WALKS OUT
_____________
CUSTOMER #6 WALKS UP TO TABLE

CUSTOMER #6: “I’m returning this dog because he lost his tail and I want you to put it back on.”

EMPLOYEE: ”What makes you think we can put his tail back on?”

CUSTOMER #6: ”Isn’t this a RE-TAIL store?”

CUSTOMER #6 WALKS OUT
____________
CUSTOMER #7 WALKS UP TO TABLE

CUSTOMER #7: “I want to return my goldfish.”

EMPLOYEE: “But this isn’t a goldfish, it’s a cat.”

CUSTOMER #7: “That’s the problem. The goldfish is inside the cat!”

CUSTOMER #7 WALKS OUT
___________
CUSTOMER #8 WALKS UP TO TABLE

CUSTOMER #8: “I bought a bird here and now it’s gone!”

EMPLOYEE: “I’m sorry – what happened to it?”

CUSTOMER #8: “It flew south for the winter!”

EMPLOYEE: “Why did it do that?”

CUSTOMER #8: “I assume because it was too far to walk!”

CUSTOMER #8 WALKS OUT
____________
CUSTOMER #9 WALKS UP TO TABLE, with DOG (another scout) walking on hands and knees beside him

CUSTOMER #9: “I’ve been ripped off! You guys told me that this dog could talk, but he can’t!"

EMPLOYEE: “Of course he can. What covers a house?”

DOG: “Roof!”

EMPLOYEE: “See? He said ‘roof’. How does sandpaper feel?”

DOG: “Rough!”

EMPLOYEE: “See? He said ‘rough’. And who was the greatest baseball player of all time?

DOG: “Ruth!”

EMPLOYEE: “See? He said ‘Babe Ruth’. I’m sorry sir, but it’s clear that this dog can talk.”

CUSTOMER #9: “Do you think I’m a fool? Everyone knows the greatest baseball player of all time was Mickey Mantle!”

CUSTOMER #9 WALKS OFF
_____________
CUSTOMER #10 WALKS UP TO TABLE

CUSTOMER #10: “I have a problem with this rabbit.”

EMPLOYEE: “What’s the problem?”

CUSTOMER #10: “It only hops backwards!”

EMPLOYEE: “Hmmm … sounds like it must have been bred from a receeding hare line.”

CUSTOMER #10 WALKS OUT
___________
CUSTOMER #11 WALKS UP TO TABLE

CUSTOMER #11: “This dog is driving me crazy! He makes an incredibly annoying clicking sound.”

EMPLOYEE: “Hmmm – could be one of two problems.”

CUSTOMER #11: “What two problems?”

EMPLOYEE: “Either he’s a watch dog, or he’s got a lot of ticks.”

CUSTOMER #11 WALKS OFFSTAGE
____________
CUSTOMER #12 WALKS UP TO TABLE

CUSTOMER #12: “You sold me a defective cat!”

EMPLOYEE: “What’s wrong with it?”

CUSTOMER #12: ”Well, first it survived a fire, and then it survived being run over, poisoned, drowned, eaten by a bear, dropped from an airplane and falling into a well. But then I accidentally electrocuted it and it DIED!”

EMPLOYEE: “Sounds to me like your cat demonstrated amazing survival skills.”

CUSTOMER #12: “Don’t you understand? You sold me a cat with only 8 lives!”
____________
ALL SCOUTS WALK ON STAGE and TAKE A BOW