My friends and I were mocking the preposterously macho names of certain sports teams and got to wondering what would happen if cities were forced to name their sports franchises after what the cities were *really* famous - or, better yet, infamous - for. After some brainstorming, we came up with the following list, replete with unjust and offensive stereotypes. Turning off comments to thwart trolls and others lacking the common sense to realize that this is meant entirely in jest ... which is a shame, because I'd love to see what other people come up with!
- Baltimore Ravens = Baltimore Homicides
- Cincinnati Bengals = Cincinnati Biergartens
- Cleveland Browns = Cleveland Cornholes
- Pittsburgh Steelers = Pittsburgh Smog
- Buffalo Bills = Buffalo Frostbite
- Miami Dolphins = Miami Wackadoodles
- New England Patriots = New England Misanthropes
- New York Jets = New York Snarks
- Denver Broncos = Denver Wackybackys
- Kansas City Chiefs = Kansas City Meatsmokers
- Las Vegas Raiders = Las Vegas Whales
- Los Angeles Chargers = Los Angeles Kaleeaters
- Houston Texans = Houston Rocketmen
- Indianapolis Colts = Indianapolis Cornstalks
- Jacksonville Jaguars = Jacksonville Parrotheads
- Tennessee Titans = Tennessee Purebreds
- Chicago Bears = Chicago Gangsters
- Detroit Lions = Detroit Blight
- Green Bay Packers = Green Bay Cheeseheads
- Minnesota Vikings = Minnesota Smorgasbords
- Dallas Cowboys = Dallas Megachurches
- New York Giants = New York Skyscrapers
- Philadelphia Eagles = Philadelphia Hooligans
- Washington Commanders = Washington Bureaucrats
- Arizona Cardinals = Arizona Militiamen
- Los Angeles Rams = Los Angeles Traffic
