20+ Books That Have Become Pop Culture Memes

 

You know those works of literature (books, poems, plays) that are considered so ubiquitous, they’re commonly referenced, without attribution, in a range of popular media?  A commercial with energy drinks labelled "Drink Me."  A sitcom character referring to Big Brother. A meme simply titled “Inconceivable!” You’re expected not just to recognize the reference, but to be familiar the context, because the context is a critical part of the joke. They're "inside jokes," accessible only to those who are familiar with the literary works they reference - literary memes, if you will. 

Was recently discussing with a friend how the writers of shows like The Simpsons, when incorporating literary references, know which ones will be recognized by their average viewers. Which of course got us thinking about what books (poems, plays) might qualify as literary memes. 

Following is our by no means comprehensive list, which was more complicated to compile than we thought because while there are a TON of works that have given rise to a single notable quote, idea, or theme, we decided that a true literary meme has to contribute something more meaningful: establish a lasting genre, define a ubiquitous plot device, or contribute an enduring trope. Moreover, it needs to be something that people know fairly intimately, so that they are capable of appreciating the context of the reference. (Everyone knows "My kingdom for a horse!" but how many people actually know the source or context? See what I mean?)

So, how many of these literary memes would *you* recognize if they popped up on an episode of The Simpsons?  

1.     The Bible (King James version). The grandaddy of all pop culture touchstones! The source material for endless works of art (music, painting, etc.), quotes, philosophical disputes, and literary themes/metaphors. You can read European literature without being familiar with the Bible, but you’re going to miss out on a lot of critical context.

2.     Greek/Roman mythology; Metamorphoses (Ovid). Not sure these are considered works of literature, but they certainly tell stories – stories which continue to influence art, philosophy, literature, the occasional Disney movie, and why we know that a planet named Jupiter is probably hot.

3.     The Complete Grimm’s Fairy Tales (Jacob Grimm); Aesop’s Fables (Aesop). If the source material isn’t biblical or mythological, it’s likely to be one of Aesop or Grimm, tales that we’re still using as metaphors for such common life lessons as “don’t be greedy” (Hansel & Gretl) and “don’t kill the golden goose” (The Golden Goose).  

4.     The Odyssey, Homer. To this day, we still refer to epic journeys as “odysseys,” and we expect everyone to be familiar with the major plot points: the lotus eaters, the sirens, long-suffering Penelope.

5.     The Inferno, Dante. Thank Dante for creating our enduring cultural perception of hell, including such enduring concepts as fire/brimstone, multiple levels, and customized punishments for specific sins.

6.     William Shakespeare (especially Henry V, Hamlet, Romeo & Juliet, and Othello). Shakespeare created the ur-texts for so many enduringly popular themes/genres: patriotism & heroism (Henry V), betrayal (Othello), lust for power (Richard III, MacBeth), Venus meets Mars (Much Ado About Nothing), doomed love (Romeo & Juliet), romantic farce (Midsummer Night’s Dream). And then he went on to create the ur-quotes that we use to explicate every imaginable situation, from “The lady doth protest too much” to “A plague upon both your houses” to “The course of true love never did run true.” Truly the OG of literary references.

7.     The Prince, Machiavelli. Still being used by politicians and leaders to guide their decision-making.

8.     Charles Dickens (especially Great Expectations, David Copperfield, and A Christmas Carol). While his tales aren’t as enduringly influential as Shakespeare, media still loves riffing off his greatest tropes (a shout out to Barbara Kingsolver’s recent Demon Copperhead), and his A Christmas Carol is basically responsible for our current conception of Christmas as a holiday devoted to doing good.

9.     Frankenstein (Mary Shelly); Dracula (Bram Stoker). Can you imagine a world in which our pantheon of monsters doesn’t include these headliners?  

10.   Jane Austen (especially Pride & Prejudice and Emma). Her contribution to pop culture? Establishing some of the most satisfying and enduring tropes of romantic literature, to include (1) dislike transforms into love, (2) friendship transforms into love, and (3) constant affection wins out over infatuation in the end. Don’t know who Mr. Darcy is? You may be the only one.

11.  Agatha Christie (especially Murder on the Orient Express, And Then There Were None). One might think of Christie as the Shakespeare of crime, in recognition of the extent to which her novels have become the ur-texts that inform pretty much every example of crime fiction (literary or TV/movie) that has come since. Recently I spotted “Murder on the Orient Express”-brand tea

12.  Sherlock Holmes (especially The Hound of the Baskervilles), Arthur Conan Doyle. A pop culture reference so pervasive, he can be summoned by the sight of a deerstalker cap, an inverness cape, or a magnifying glass! Beyond these visual references, Doyle’s detective established such enduring tropes as (1) using evidence to solve crimes, (2) pairing detectives with sidekicks, and (3) positing that ghosts/supernatural occurrences usually have logical explanations. (Which, come to think of it, makes Sherlock Holmes the ur-text for basically every episode of Scooby Doo.)  

13.  Moby Dick, Herman Melville. My son – definitely not a reader - once said to me, “Calculus is my white whale.” Point, set, match.

14.  To Kill a Mockingbird, Harper Lee. Not the most powerful book ever written about racism, but because it’s the one we all read in school, it’s the one we tend to turn to when we need a good metaphor for “don’t judge a man until you climb inside of his skin and walk around in it.”

15.  1984 (George Orwell); Animal Farm (George Orwell); Fahrenheit 451 (Ray Bradbury); The Handmaiden’s Tale (Margaret Atwood); Lord of the Flies (William Golding); The Lottery (Shirley Jackson). Used interchangeably as ur-texts for potential dystopian futures. There’s a definite pop culture expectation that, for each of these, people possess a pre-loaded understanding of (1) what went wrong, (2) how it went wrong, and (3) most egregious outcomes.

16.  Alice’s Adventures in Wonderland, Lewis Carroll. Almost impossible to count the ways in which this book has pervaded our universal consciousness, from politicians with Cheshire cat grins to “diving down a rabbit hole.”

18.  The Princess Bride, William Goldman. One of those cultural phenomena that has achieved pop culture meme status as people have come to appreciate the incredible density of useful quotes and applicable situations the book contains.

HONORABLE MENTIONS

• Catch22, Kurt Vonnegut
• Catcher in the Rye, J.D. Salinger
• Charlie and the Chocolate Factory, Roald Dahl
• Death of a Salesman, Arthur Miller
• Dr. Faustus, Christopher Marlowe
• Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde, H.G. Wells
• The Fountainhead, Ayn Rand
• The Giving Tree, Shel Silverstein
• The Grapes of Wrath, John Steinbeck
• Harry Potter series, J.R. Rowling
• The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy, Douglas Adams
• Oedipus Rex, Sophocles
• The Old Man and the Sea, Ernest Hemingway
• The Picture of Dorian Gray, Oscar Wilde
• The Raven, Edgar Allan Poe
• The Road Less Traveled, Robert Frost
• The Scarlet Letter, Nathaniel Hawthorne
• The Telltale Heart, Edgar Allan Poe

7.       

20+ Actionable Strategies for Addressing Poverty in the U.S.

A couple of days ago I summarized some of the most insidious factors that are exacerbating and perpetuating poverty in the U.S. It was a pretty bleak post. Today I take on the challenge of listing potential actions we can take to alleviate poverty, focusing on actions that are politically and economically feasible. 

I'm also intentionally focusing that do more than make poverty more survivable. Surely our nation can do better than merely making it possible for the poor to stave off starvation and homelessness ... barely. Our goal, according to Matthew Desmond, author of Poverty, by America, should be "poverty emancipation" - making it possible for people currently living below the poverty line to build wealth and emerge from poverty entirely.

Looking for more in-depth information? Desmond's excellent and authoritative jeremiad is the place to start, but I've included a bibliography (below) of other resources I drew upon in composing this list.   

1. Banking & Finance Reforms
1. Cap the fees that predatory lenders can charge on short-term loans - protections that apply not just to the initial loan, but loan extensions. Not only are the rates on short-term loans obscenely high, but many of these lenders deliberately structure their loans so that they are easily extended (all the better to tempt desperate clients), at rates that quickly become insanely usurious.
2. Create means-tested bank accounts specifically for the poor. Currently, people who live in poverty have two options, both of them equally expensive: either (1) deposit their money in banks, only to watch their balances whittled away by bank and ATM fees, or (2) utilize check-cashing companies that claim a percentage of the money they pay out. Poor people need access to safe, affordable banking: accounts that have no required minimum balance, that are exempt from ATM fees, that eschew long holds that make funds unavailable, and that are protected against exorbitant overdraft fees. Another advantage of bank accounts: they create a financial track record that can help people in poverty build credit. 
2. Housing Reforms
1. Invest in affordable, accessible housing. Insufficient housing drives up pricing for everyone, but people in poverty take the worst hit because they end up paying out a much higher percentage of their income to secure housing.
2. Pass zoning laws that make it easier to build high density housing. One way to make more housing available? Topple the current laws that protect low-density housing. In his book, Desmond suggests that when laws were passed in the 1970s eliminating redlining, many municipalities simply transitioned to zoning laws designed to exclude the types of housing that might attract "undesirables." We need to call out these laws for what they are - elitist and exclusionary - and make it easier to build lower-cost, higher-density housing where it's needed ... not just where it won't bother anyone.
3. Make it easier for people to obtain competitive mortgages for lower-cost housing. Banks tend to turn their noses up at mortgages for lower-cost housing because the modest returns they'll realize off the interest aren't worth the effort (or the perception/reality of risk), making it difficult for people in reduced circumstances to participate in the real estate market, one of the U.S.'s most reliable sources of wealth generation. 
4. Limit the extent to which landlords can raise rents. This is a tricky one, as it goes against our American spirit of capitalism to limit the extent to which people profit off their investments. But research shows that when minimum wage is raised, or rates of wealth in poor communities increase (perhaps due to the arrival of a well-paying employer), landlords reliably raise their rates to absorb the difference. If we want to increase the spendable income of people in poverty, we need to find ways to limit the ability of landlords to negate gains in income.  
5. Make it easier for tenants to transition rental buildings to co-ops. Another way to participate in the real estate market: allowing tenants to organize and purchase properties that are on sale by the landlord. Unfortunately, current law makes it easy for landlords to leverage their advantage in such negotiations, demanding prices and concessions far above what the regular market would bear. 
6. Aggressively monitor rental units for housing code violations; respond immediately to complaints with investigations, fines, and follow-ups. What does this have to do with poverty? People who live in unsafe buildings are more exposed to violence, stress, and health issues - all of which impede the ability of families to access important amenities (robust transportation, healthy commercial districts, good schools) and lead to higher health care costs.
7. As long as we're at it, in fact, why don't we make subsidized housing glorious? Instead of placing the responsibility for subsidized housing in the hands of private companies motivated by short-term greed, we should be taking steps to ensure that future builds prioritize long-term safety, aesthetics, and health. Appealing neighborhoods attract amenities and create educational and economic opportunities.
8. Maintain landlord accountability by guaranteeing the rights of renters to access legal remedies. As things currently stand, landlords who engage in exploitation (refusing to perform necessary repairs, imposing enormous late fines, engaging in punitive evictions) have many legal avenues for avoiding accountability, such as requiring as a condition of rental that rentees agree to resolve disputes via mediation - a process that can easily be manipulated to favor landlord interests.
9. Eliminate lead paint and lead pipes. Again, what does this have to do with poverty? Lead is isn't just any toxin - it's a neurotoxin. In children, continuous exposure to high levels of lead lowers overall IQ and contributes to higher rates of disruptive behaviour - factors that can impede the ability of these children to realize financial success as adults. And where are the highest levels of lead often found? In poor communities, where peeling paint and unmodernized plumbing systems are often the norm.
3. Access to Employment
1. Enforce a livable minimum wage and set limits on workarounds that allow employers to shirk benefits: limiting hours, requiring that employees work as independent contractors,  etc.  One thing that keeps poor people poor is that they are too often forced to pay out-of-pocket for benefits that wealthier people take for granted, such as subsidized health care. Also, while we're at it, we need to be aggressively prosecute companies found guilty of wage fraud, an injustice that specifically targets poor people because they lack the time, resources, or power to protect themselves.
2. Modify current laws that give employers wide license to quell worker's efforts to organize and collectively bargain. Contrary to popular belief, unionizing employees isn't proven to result in either higher prices or job loss - but it is proven to put money, benefits, and security in the pockets of workers. This likely explains why large employers and the Chambers of Commerce they sponsor continue to protect laws that make it as hard as possible for workers to engage in collective action.
3. Limit practices like just-in-time-scheduling and at-will employment. All employees deserve financial stability, but being able to anticipate revenue is especially critical for folks that are living paycheck-to-paycheck. Without this stability, workers can't effectively invest in their own futures.  
4. Eliminate predatory non-compete agreements. Employees need to be free to sell their services/expertise to the highest bidder, unencumbered by spurious non-compete agreements whose sole purpose is to frighten employees into staying where they are by "poisoning the well." 
5. Support and enforce pay equity to combat ongoing discrimination against populations most likely to experience poverty.  Politicians love talking about gender inequality and racial inequality, but no one's talking about the data that shows that people in poverty are paid less than wealthier colleagues with the same level of expertise. We need to close the pay gap that has poor people earning ~30% less than their more privileged peers.  
6. Open up more opportunities in high school for vocational training. ____________
7. Create opportunities for folks in prison to participate in vocational education, and create systems that place them in jobs with livable wages upon their release. Currently, jails are basically factories for generating poor people. Released convicts face job discrimination, housing discrimination, and are often estranged from family/community support due to prison "best practices" that, among other things, charge prisoners for phone calls to loved ones. We need programs that disrupt this cycle by focusing on equipping prisoners with the tools and resources they will need to generate wealth. 
4. Access to Benefits
1. Make the process for applying for benefits more accessible. If we're going to provide programs to support poverty, then let's at least make then accessible! Our current system is dogged by inconsistent information, inaccessible processes (often requiring access to computers, wifi, printers, and a high degree of computer literacy), and unconscionable processing delays. Many poor resort to hiring attorneys they can't afford to obtain rights that they are imminently qualified to receive - attorneys who then skim a portion of the awards for themselves. (Is this really how we want to be spending the tax dollars we earmark for poverty relief - making lawyers richer?) We need either to be reforming our current processes or at least providing free access to advocates who can help people in poverty navigate our current labyrinthian systems.
2. Eliminate penalties that dis-incent families. One tested way to build wealth is through collective living where individuals pool their financial resources, as happens when people marry or establish multi-generational households. However, our current benefits systems continue to provide higher benefits to single heads of household. 
3. Make child care affordable, available, and exceptional. Parents can't work unless they have someone to take care of their children, and they can't even begin to generate wealth if child care is so expensive, it's absorbing all their disposable income. Moreover, we need to make sure that the child care we provide isn't just babysitting, but proactively building the essential foundations for learning and future success: literacy, numeracy, and social/emotional intelligence. 
4. Make health care affordable, available, and exceptional. Recent legislation has addressed the imperative to subsidize care for the poor, but too many people who live just above the poverty line are unable to access these programs, forcing them to devote a disproportionate percentage of their disposable incomes on doctors, prescriptions, and medical supplies and thereby limiting their ability to build wealth. 
5. Provide guarantees access to paid medical leave and paid sick days. One of the many ways that we penalize poor people is by denying them paid sick days. Not only do minimum-way employers refuse paid leave, but currently they also have wide leverage to fire employees who have the temerity to ask for unpaid leave. We need to stop expecting people in poverty to tolerate inequities that would never be tolerated by their wealthier peers. 
6. Regularly audit states to ensure that grants to address poverty are actually being expended on poverty assistance. Way too much of the aid that the federal government gives to states for poverty relief ends up being spent on things that have little/nothing to do with poverty relief: pork projects, initiatives that advance political agendas. This needs to stop.
5. Potential Sources of Funding
1. Reconsider programs that reward wealth.  Provisions such as tax breaks for home ownership and inherited wealth tend to benefit those least in need of financial assistance. This has proved a hard thing to fix, not just because folks who are wealthy have the resources to sway legislators, but also because - in a country where everyone believes they have the potential to one day become wealthy (that pyramid scheme is sure to pay off one day!), even people currently living in poverty can be persuaded not to pass laws that may one day place limits on their own access to wealth. 
2. Track down tax cheaters and make them pay. Recently, the head of the IRS estimated that we are losing $1T in revenue due to tax cheaters, primarily multinational corporations and wealthy individuals. Imagine the poverty alleviation programs we could fund with that kind of money! 
3. Prioritize programs that help build wealth. To be clear, I'm not advocating shifting funds away from the programs that provide critical support to the poor: Earned Income Tax Credit, housing subsidies, WIC, etc. But I am advocating that we spend more time and treasure focusing on program that help the poor to build financial security and wealth. 

SOURCES: 

Desmond, Matthew. Poverty By America. Crown Publishing Group:New York. 2023.

Pathak, A and Ross, K. The Top 12 Solutions to Cut Poverty in the United States, 30 June 2021. Center for American Progress. Accessed Nov 2024 at https://www.americanprogress.org/article/top-12-solutions-cut-poverty-united-states/

Rappaport, Alan. Tax Cheats Cost the US $1T per year, IRS Chief Says. New York Times, 13 Oct 2021. https://www.nytimes.com/2021/04/13/business/irs-tax-gap.html

10+ Factors That Perpetuate Poverty in the United States

Like many Americans, I struggle to understand why a country as rich in resources and opportunities as the U.S. still has one of the highest poverty rates of any advanced country. So when I spotted Matthew Desmond's Poverty by America on bookshelves, I immediately bought myself a copy, not willing to wait the 2+ months to obtain one of the copies stocked by our local library system. (Because apparently I'm not the only one with similar questions!) Figured Desmond's credentials as an award winning author (his Evicted won a Pulitzer Prize), in addition to the book's hefty 76 pages of annotated footnotes, was likely to ensure a reasoned and data-supported analysis of the issue.

As I'd hoped, the first half of the book spoke directly to my question, addressing the various reasons that poverty persists in the U.S. These chapters left me appropriately enlightened and appalled. The second half of the book then went on to propose realistic solutions, one of which is, basically, "get the word out!" Desmond strongly believes that ongoing politic rhetoric, ignorance, and disinformation mask the fact that poverty reduction unites and benefits us all. For this reason, I'm hoping he won't mind if I use this blog post as a way to "spread the word" about the actual factors that contribute to endemic poverty in this nation, with an eye towards creating an informed populace that will demand that our elected officials support initiatives that lead to actual, lasting poverty emancipation. 

To be clear, the prose below is mine (I've summarized Desmond's main ideas in my own, much less artful/precise words), but the ideas and references are all Desmond's. If this topic intrigues you, I strongly urge you to go to the primary source, his Poverty by America, in order to access a wider, deeper, and much more informed analysis of the issues presented below. 

As the title suggests, am dedicating this blog post to a discussion of some of the factors that perpetuate poverty in the U.S. Look for my next blog post, in which I'll lay out "10+ Initiatives for Reducing Poverty in the United States," inspired by the latter chapter's of Desmond's narrative. A little hope to leaven the bleakness of the list below! 

10+ reasons that poverty is endemic in the U.S.:

1. It's profitable. The first thing to understand is that, here in the U.S., poverty is a profit industry. A partial list of some of the folks who profit:  
1. Landlords, who exploit the desperation of their impoverished customers, lackadaisical oversight, and laws very clearly weighted in their favor to charge above-market rates for often substandard housing. Turns out people will put up with a lot of inequality when their only other option is homelessness. 
2. Banks, who profit from overdraft and other fees.
3. Predatory lenders (payday loan companies, pawnshops) that exploit the fact that many poor people don't have sufficient cash flow to maintain bank accounts and are desperate enough to entangle themselves in loans with interest rates of up to 500%.
4. Lawyers hired by the poor in order to obtain the government aid (SSDI, SSI) that they are legally entitled to - lawyers only too happy to provide their services on spec in exchange a portion of the funds their clients are awarded.
5. Politicians, who divert federal funding meant for the poor to fund their own pork projects (ex: concerts, stadiums) or to forward their own political agendas (ex: abstinence education in schools). (Do a quick internet search on how Mississippi used welfare money to pay for a volleyball complex and concerts by a gospel singer!) 
6. Employers, who understand that the easiest way to motivate workers to accept unacceptable jobs (low pay, ruinous hours, unpaid overtime, unsafe conditions) is to make sure their only other choice is hunger and homelessness.
7. "Sin industries" such as tobacco, alcohol, gambling, and the lottery, that exploit the self-destructive behaviours of desperate populations.
2. Predatory housing. Many poor in America pay more in rent than they would in mortgage payments. So why aren't they buying homes - one of the most reliable paths to wealth generation in this country? One reason: banks don't make enough profit off of small mortgages to make it worth their while. Another reason: many poor are required to conduct their transactions in cash (landlords/purchasers won't accept any other form of payment), making it difficult for them to establish credit.  
3. Exclusionary zoning laws. When redlining was nixed, many cities simply switched to exclusionary zoning, figuring that if they couldn't keep "undesirable elements" out, then they could at least exclude the types of housing that attract "undesirable elements" - apartments, subsidized housing. These zoning laws have the effect of concentrating people living in poverty in neighborhoods that are underserved by commercial and public infrastructure, which in turn exposes them to factors that perpetuate poverty, including: 
1. Over-priced food. In neighborhoods with no grocery stores, people can't leverage warehouse pricing or comparison shop for good deals. And dollar stores, despite their name, are no bargain, forcing people to pay $1 for products that cost much less in other outlets. 
2. Under-performing schools. Schools in poor neighborhoods have difficulty attracting the programs, funding, and teachers that schools in wealthier neighborhoods insist upon. 
4. We make accessing benefits too hard. Contrary to the opinion of many Americans, our country's poor are actually pretty bad at being welfare dependent. Every year, billions of dollars remain unclaimed by people who are qualified for the benefits. Why?
1. We make it extremely hard for people to apply for benefits. Forms are complicated, directions are wordy, guidance is contradictory, and the process often requires access to the internet, overlooking the fact that poor populations often have limited access to the web (no computers, cellphones with expensive data plans). 
2. Our current administrative processes are so inefficient, underfunded, and overwhelmed, qualified applicants are often required to reapply multiple times before being found eligible. All too often, the only recourse the poor have is to hire a lawyer to advocate for them, which means forking over 25% of what they win to lawyers who are most definitely *not* poor.
5. Companies are incented to exploit workers. Shareholders and the stock markets reward profit without much caring how that profit is extracted. One of the easiest ways to increase profit? Reduce labor costs, a process that is facilitated by:
1. A minimum wage that ensures workers remain susceptible to hunger and homelessness, incenting them to continue working no matter how difficult/unjust the conditions.
2. Exploitation of workers (often ELLs or undereducated) either unfamiliar with their legally protected rights or unwilling/unable to demand them. 
3. Mandatory non-compete clauses that limit the ability of workers to sell their skills to the highest bidder. Your employer at Jiffy Lube is cheating you out of overtime? That non-compete agreement they forced you to sign as a condition of employment means you can't apply for a similar job with a competitor.  To be clear, we're not talking about tech workers here: we're talking about hair stylists, factory workers, fast food workers, car salesmen, and nurses. These employers aren't concerned about proprietary information; they're using non-competes as a way to trap employees and limit wage competition. 
4. A legal system that is designed to discourage collective action through laws that give employers wide scope to discourage unionization and punish potential organizers. 
6. Unfair taxation policies. While our income tax is ostensibly "progressive" (based on income level), many taxes - sales taxes, property taxes - are not. In fact, the % of overall income that poor people pay in taxes ends up being almost as high as what our wealthiest citizens pay. (If you're thinking that it feels counterproductive to give poor people public assistance and then collect 25% of it back in taxes, then you're right.)
7. Our health care situation. Obamacare and Medicare provide some coverage, but few of these policies are free or comprehensive, and people who live on the margins of poverty - just enough to get by - often don't qualify for the subsidies they need. Exacerbating this situation is the fact that people who live in poverty often have more extreme, endemic health issues, due to (among other factors) poor nutrition, lack of appropriate preventative care, and inability to pay for prescriptions over time. 
8. Our child care situation. It's impossible to overestimate the impact of our country's child care system on the poor. Child care can consume up to 50% of the take home earnings generated by a typical minimum wage job. Assistance programs that require single parents to work in order to qualify for benefits are ensuring that those single parents will remain impoverished. (Meanwhile, due to our broken and politicized healthcare system, women who wish to delay pregnancy often lack the means to maintain sustained access to birth control.) 
9. The way we do jail. Jail may or may not rehabilitate prisoners, but it does pretty much doom them to lives of poverty. Untrained in any usable skills, disqualified by employers reluctant to hire them, often disconnected from the support system of their families by policies that house prisoners in jails far removed from their homes & restrict phone calls ... these individuals face often insurmountable odds when it comes to building wealth. 
10. Programs that accommodate poverty without alleviating it. Too many of our social programs - including food stamps, housing assistance, and health care - are designed to help the poor survive rather than help them build wealth. 
11. Absence of choice. One of the least understood but most insidious factors trapping people in poverty: absence of choice. A huge part of being an efficient consumer is being able to avail oneself of choice:  the choice to join a discount warehouse, to visit a doctor that's preapproved by your insurance, to select a bank that doesn't impose steep fees, to shop for bargains utilizing information accessible via the internet. But these options often aren't available to people who lack access to reliable transportation and/or internet access, who can't afford to take time off work, or who are simply too exhausted after their 60-80hr work weeks to engaged in informed consumerism.

100+ Ways to Terrify a Teacher

How do you terrify a teacher? It's not easy! We're surrounded by some of the most horrifying work conditions imaginable: impossible expectations, widespread disrespect, hormonal teenagers ....

But our jobs can definitely be nightmarish, as the following list suggests. Here's my list of 100+ things sure to unsettle  even the most jaded teacher:  

1. There's a full moon. Ask any teacher: students get nutty on full moon days. (Parents too.) 
2.  It’s the day before winter or summer break … and admins have clearly communicated that instruction must occur: no parties, movies, or games. Ever been trapped in a cage with 30 hyenas scenting blood?
3. The day after Halloween. Trying to keep students on task All Hallow's Eve is bad enough ("Ms. T, my dinosaur costume keeps knocking over the beakers!"), but attempting to instruct them the day AFTER Halloween, when they're sleep deprived and sugared up like alcoholics at an open bar? They should give us hazard pay. 
4. Valentines Day. Soooooooooooooooo. much. drama.
5.  The copier jams just as you're trying to make copies for the class that's arriving
6. Due to cost constraints, admin decides to ration the copier paper
7. The school wifi goes down just as your students are accessing the day's lesson plan - which, of course, is entirely online
8. The projector bulb burns out just as you're beginning to deliver your lesson
9. The HVAC in your classroom fails on either the hottest or coldest week of the year
10. Being assigned to a new classroom and competing for cabinet space with the abandoned detritus of the 50-100 years of teachers that came before you. 
11. The district announces that they've invested in new software to replace the software you only just figured out how to use.
12.  Due to poor maintenance and vandalism, the only working bathroom is now on the other side of the building. 
13. Lice. Ringworm. Fleas. Bedbugs. Basically, vermin of any sort. 
14. Stomach flu is "going around"
15. "This notice is to inform you that one of your students has tested positive for ..."
16. The substitute teacher you lined up weeks in advance has just cancelled, and no one else is signing up for the job
17. Outdoor recess has been cancelled, leaving you trapped in a classroom with 30 feral ferrets for the next half hour. 
18. The coffee maker/soda machine is out of order
19. Someone ate the lunch you placed, clearly labelled, in the refrigerator in the teacher lounge.
20. Being tasked at the end of the year to dispose of all the mysteriously stained bags, moldy Tupperware containers, and tin foil blobs at the back of the same fridge. (Perhaps even discovering some of those lunches that went missing during the year!) 
21. The PTA "Teachers Appreciation Week" buffet is out of food by the time you get their because you were trapped in an IEP meeting that wouldn't end. 
22. You just realized your class pet is dead, and the day is only half over
23. Someone spilled glitter all over the classroom floor
24. The boys all got Axe body spray gift packs for Christmas
25. Someone lets loose a fart so foul, there's no choice but to implement chemical gas evacuation procedures
26. After class you discover the floor littered with spitballs, reminding you that there is literally no way to effectively police spitballs. Outbreaks wax and wane with the immutibility of ocean tides.
27. A group of students do *way* too well on a test, but you can't figure out how they cheated.
28. One of your students posts to social media a video of you doing something embarassing: dancing, making a face, or saying something preposterous. ("Don't make me call Santa Claus and tell him that you're goofing off!")
29. Dead-weight colleagues that rely on the rest of the team to do all the work for them.
30. Cliquey colleagues who, finding themselves back in a school setting, default to establishing  social hierarchies based off-hours socializing, access to admins, and condescension. Mean girls have nothing on mean teachers! 
31. Parents who email you evenings and weekends, and then get testy when you don't get right back to them
32. Emails from "those parents" - long, rambling missives that range from passive-aggressive to outright hostile. 
33. Finding out that parents are bringing an advocate with them to the IEP meeting.
34. Your students begins their sentence with "But my mom/dad said ...." ("... my soccer practice was more important than your homework," "... if it's not posted to the class website, I don't have to do it," "... you can catch me up on what I missed during your lunch period.")
35. Your admin begins their sentence with "I need to ask you a favor." Actual examples from my personal collection: Organize the school field trip; create and implement a school-wide community service project; participate in a skit for the pep rally; plan the end-of-the-year awards ceremony.  
36. All the chaperones that signed up for the field trip cancel at the last minute or no-show.  
37. The parent of 'that' students insists that "their child would never ...!" Other variations: "None of their other teachers have ever complained," "She certainly doesn't do that at home," and "You've had it in for our child since the beginning pf the school year!" 
38. Parents who expect you to parent their child. Actual examples from my personal collection: "Can you comb his hair if he forgets to do it himself?" "Will you tell me if she doesn't eat her vegetables?" "Will you try to sit him next to xxx, because I want him to be accepted by the 'cool kids'?"
39. Parents who pull their students out of school for 2-4 weeks but expect you to be able to assemble a packet of worksheets that will teach everything they're going to miss so that their grade isn't jeopardized.
40. One of your students is allergic to everything, so you're expected to wipe down their desk, chair, and all materials before every class - and if anything goes wrong, you will most definitely be held accountable
41. The student they're adding to your class mid-year is being transitioned from the "alternative high school"
42. One or more of your students has an IEP for oppositional defiance disorder
43. One of your parent emails you to let you know that their student forgot to take their ADHD medicine that morning
44. Your student is pale and nauseous, but the clinic is closed because the county health aid is absent ... again. 
45. A student throws up in the classroom, triggering a cascade of puking that sends half your class dashing to the nearest trash can or sink.
46. You finally transition "that" kid to the next grade, only to discover you're going to be teaching their younger brother/sister next year
47. A new Tiktok challenge - pour vegetable oil on the bathroom floors! remove one of the two screws that fastens the legs to the student chairs! - plunges the school into chaos. 
48. Running into former students at local restaurants, theaters, swimming pools, or stores. These encounters are most likely to occur when you're dressed in unflattering clothes, attending an awkward movie (something with a lot of sex, or ponies), or buying replacement underwear. 
49. Navigating packed parking lots and incredibly complex traffic patterns surrounded by cars piloted by drivers with, at best, learner's permits.  Remember those old driver's ed films featuring cars coming at you from every direction while, simultaneously, a dog darts out in front of you followed by a little kid paying no attention to traffic? That's nothing compared to the insanity of your average high school parking lot
50. It becomes apparent that some sort of ongoing drama has pervading your classroom via social media, triggering eruptions of astonishment, fury, and tears that prove impossible to teach through. 
51. "VIP" students, the children of fellow teachers, the principal, school board members, or local politicians. You just know you're being constantly watched and judged!
52. One of your students accuses you of something unprofessional: pushing, yelling, cursing. In this litigious age, teachers live in fear of being targeted by students or eager for attention, or vengeance.
53. An angry/scary student threatens physical harm as retaliation for some perceived slight. 
54. Admin drops in for an unannounced observation, inevitably choosing to visit your most chaotic class at the moment of ultimate pandemonium.
55. Admin call an unscheduled faculty meeting. No good news is ever shared at an unscheduled faculty meeting. 
56. The county/state decides to make big changes to the curriculum, requiring that you jettison all your beautifully designed lessons and start from scratch.
57. The county announces that they are going to implementing the latest educational fad, regardless of whether it is actually supported by, you know, evidence of efficacy. 
58. Admin insists that your CLT base major decisions about instruction on an in-depth analysis of data that you know to be deeply flawed and invalid. 
59. Your school decides to stage an active shooter drill without warning you in advance
60. Admin announces that, due to staffing shortages, they're going to need teachers to take on extra supervision duties (lunch, hallways, bus, recess)
61. In order to retain your job, you are being required to switch grades (or preps)
62. The county announces that, due to an excessive number of snow days, they're going to be adding additional days to the end of the year 
63. Admin asks you what you're going to do to remediate your students at risk of failing because they refuse to attend school or complete work. 
64. Admin requires you to submit lesson plans in advance - lesson plans that they have no intention of actually reviewing
65. Spirit weeks! Imagine 5 days of Halloween, with less candy but a thousand times more selfies. 
66. "Your colleague has called in sick but there are no subs, so we're going to need you to cover their classes." 
67. Admin arrives at your door to return the disruptive student you just expelled from your classroom 10 minutes ago
68. Your admin calls you at home on your sick day to quiz you about the details of your sub plan
69. You receive 10mins warning that the fire marshal is about to visit your classroom, requiring that you immediately cease all other activities in order to remove all your wall posters and door decorations. 
70. Admins asks you to follow up with parents who haven't turned in their beginning-of-the-year paperwork, because "many hands make lighter work." 
71. Admin decides that they're going to need you to "document the behavior" before they decide whether, how, or when to intercede
72. The front office needs to know if a particular student was in your class two weeks ago Tuesday - the one day you were too busy to take roll, much less notice which students might have been absent.
73. Your IA gets pulled to cover another classroom, leaving you with a lesson plan that requires an IA to implement.
74. You're "voluntold" to sign up for after school/weekend tutorials.
75. You're required to sign up for a school committee that meets during your planning period or after school.
76. Admin announces that all classes are going to be at overcapacity until the teacher shortage is addressed. But also, there aren't enough desks, so teachers are going to need to accommodate those extra students any way they can.  
77. ... Or, you're abruptly destaffed due to last minute deficits in enrollment
78. The state/county adds another 2-3 hours to your mandatory beginning-of-the-year PD to address all the issues they were sued over the previous year. 
79. Admin announces that they will no longer be approving leave on Fridays. Or Mondays. Or before holidays. Or after holidays. 
80. Your colleague or co-teacher goes on emergency leave, requiring that you do all their lesson planning. 
81. Your state announces that there will be no step increases/raises/cost of living adjustments this year. Or next year. Or for the foreseeable future. 
82. Winter break ends up being unusually short due to Christmas falling mid-week. 
83. The forecast calls for snow so you don't lesson plan - only to wake up to a light dusting and no school closures. 
84. Unnecessary (or unnecessarily long) staff meetings, primarily convened to allow admins to hear themselves talk.
85. The staff meeting begins with an icebreaker, apparently unaware that few things are as dreaded as icebreakers. 
86. The state announces a new initiative to base a significant portion of teacher evaluations on student/parent satisfaction surveys
87. Citing insufficient time and resources, admins announce that they are shifting responsibility for an increasing number of misbehaviours away from the front office (admins) and into classrooms (teachers). Because goodness knows teachers have plenty of time and resources for calling parents, hosting detentions, and enforcing dress codes. 
88. An unannounced fire drill interrupts a test that your students were going to need every minute of the period to complete. (Moreover, there's no way to prevent students from sharing answers as they're mingling out on the school football field, waiting for the "all clear" to return.) 
89. You learn there's no room or desk for you, so you're going to be expected to teach from a cart
90. The county decides to start school a week earlier
91. In the interest of cultural sensitivity, your county adds 15 "cultural observances" to the school calendar but then forbids teachers from delivering new content or give assessments on those days, apparently unaware that effectively cancelling 15 days of instruction might pose certain inconveniences.
92. In the interest of rigor, your admins decide to enroll all students in honors classes for the coming year
93. In the interest of equality, your admins decide to merge your gifted, general ed, special ed and ELL students into a single population, which teachers will be required to accommodate in blended classrooms by "differentiating." As if differentiation is something teachers accomplish with a magic wand rather than complex engineering. 
94. In the interest of facilitating content mastery, admins decide to allow students to turn in work up until the end of the quarter with no penalty, thereby removing the incentive for students to turn in work on time. Student to teacher: "I know you have to submit grades tomorrow morning, but the syllabus says you have to accept and grade the 10 assignments I turned in at 11:59 last night." 
95. In the interest of grading equity, admins decide to eliminate grades for homework, classwork or formative assessments, thereby removing the incentive for students to participate in these activities, while simultaneously creating a system that systematically punishes students who are poor test-takers.  
96. "Please hold your students in your room until we are able to restore power." Remember what happened in New York City during the Great Blackout - panic, riots, fires, hooliganism? That's pretty much what goes on in a middle school classroom every time the electricity goes out. 
97. "We're putting all the red zone students in one classroom for standardized testing, and we need you to proctor." I leave it to your imagination to consider the many ways that students lacking both motivation and boundaries can invent to disrupt a testing environment. (My personal favorite was the time they all started quacking like ducks.)
98. Admin clarifies that while teachers may ask students to put phones away, they may not actually confiscate phones. It's hard to overstate the idiocy of this policy, or the immense frustration of teachers provided no other option but to enforce it. 
99. Guidance from the county/state requires you to redo your curriculum to omit any content that could be potentially offensive to anyone, no matter how ridiculous 
100. The county/state requires you to teach during a pandemic. Without a mask. Because political gamesmanship trumps science, and lives.
101. "The principals wants to see you." Because, no matter how old you are, getting called to the principals office never ceases to be terrifying.