Reality Check: 10 Things Your Parents Should Have Taught You About the Real World

File this under "flash rant," but getting tired of interacting with folks who seem not to have been taught these few foundational principles of life by the people - parents, guardians - who should have done so. 

Perhaps if we posted these 10 "reality checks" in every classroom, instead of the 10 Commandments, we might actually start churning out students prepared to function as responsible, respectful adults.

1. Life isn't fair; sometimes good guys get hurt, and sometimes bad guys prevail.
2. People aren't thinking about you nearly as much as you think you are.
3. You don't know half of what you think you know.
4. You are free to make your own choices, but you are not free of the consequences.
5. You don't get to dictate what other people think or do.
6. Only you can fix you.
7. Basic respect is a right; enduring respect is earned.
8. If you keep doing what you've always done, you'll keep getting what you always get.
9. Other people's lived experience is just as valid as yours.
10. People will judge you based on your actions, not your intentions.

100+ Tips for New Teachers

It's beginning to look a lot like Labor Day, so thought I'd post this list in honor of all the new teachers who are even now chewing their nails and writing impossibly brilliant lesson plans that will never succeed in the classroom.  Unlike most other lists you'll find on the internet, this one is only partially in earnest, because if you haven't already figured out how to laugh at the job, you need to start now!

1. Take the free food. You’ve earned it.
2. Go to the bathroom when you’ve got the chance
3. Everything’s better with glitter
4. The word “Uranus” never stops being funny
5. Your classroom will never be the right temperature, no matter how many times you fiddle with the thermostat
6. Fire drills will happen at the worst possible time
7. Learn to eat lunch in 10 minutes or less
8. The day your lesson plan goes disastrously wrong is the day your principal will choose to observe you
9. Don’t blow all that money you’ll be earning on fast cars or high living
10. The only thing more annoying than kids constantly sharpening their pencils is kids constantly running out of lead for their mechanical pencils
11. Choose your battles
12. Set realistic goals. “I will survive this day,” is an example of a realistic goal.
13. Learn to say “no”
14. The only thing worse than writing sub plans is writing sub plans after you’re already sick
15. Learn to celebrate the small successes. Like fixing the copier without smearing toner all over your clothes
16. Don’t even try to do this alone.  Find teachers/mentors who will help you
17. Don’t reinvent the wheel
18. It’s your classroom; that makes you the referee
19. Back up your files; you never know when someone’s going to spill apple juice on your keyboard
20. The first people you need to befriend are the office secretary, the custodians, and the librarian
21. Avoid asking “are there any questions?” without adding “…about what we’ve been learning?” – unless you want to answer questions about poop
22. Dogs no longer eat homework. Computers do
23. There’s no tired like teacher tired
24. Invest your savings now in companies that produce tissues, hand sanitizer, Sharpies, and aspirin
25. Forget fashion; buy comfortable shoes
26. Never wear anything that requires dry cleaning
27. Teaching isn’t about the content you deliver, it’s all about how you deliver it
28. Elaborately decorated classrooms and color coded supplies have not been proven to improve academic achievement
29. Teacher supply stores are like candy stores. You may want it, but you really don’t need it.
30. Lessons need to be engaging. Worksheets are not engaging. Relevant, authentic, active, project-based learning is engaging
31. The students should be working harder than you
32. Set high standards
33. Teach growth mindset
34. Praise the effort, not the product
35. Empower your students to advocate for themselves
36. Build in opportunities for imagination and creativity
37.  Fair isn’t equal. “Smart” takes many forms.  Differentiate your content, processes, products, and timelines
38. Buy yourself a really, really big water bottle. And a coffee holder with a lid
39. Get the flu shot
40. Take germ prevention seriously. (Yours, not so much theirs.)
41. Encourage them to explore their passions
42. First impressions count. Make sure your first day rocks
43. Focus on their strengths, not their weaknesses
44. Look for giftedness. Look for disabilities. Be proactive in taking action.
45. You don’t have to grade everything. Seriously, you don’t
46. Stay calm. The person who gets angry first, loses.
47. Never let them see you sweat. Children are like wolves; they sense fear.
48. Research-based best practices need to be backed by actual research. Otherwise they’re just educational fads. Know the difference
49. Learn their names. Then use them. All the time
50. Most of the time, they don’t actually need to go to their bathroom
51. When everything else fails, take them to the library
52. Be authoritative, not authoritarian
53. They’re going to talk anyway; make it work for you
54. Allow wait time.
55. Be consistent
56. Built trust
57. Answer questions with questions; make them find their own answers
58. Never put anything in writing that you wouldn’t want parents or your boss to see
59. It’s about restorative justice, not punishment
60. Never issue a threat you’re not prepared to enforce
61. Work on your snow dance now so you’ll be ready for winter
62. Overplan. Running out of lesson before the bell is like a lion tamer running out of meat before all the lions are fed.
63. Don’t be that teacher that sends out communications to parents filled with spelling, punctuation and grammar errors
64. CYA - document all parent and admin interactions.
65. The best motivator is respect. If respect doesn’t work, try blue Jolly Ranchers
66. Never humiliate a student. They’ll never trust you again
67. Do first, ask permission later
68. Be flexible. If you don’t learn to bend, be prepared to break
69. Constantly assess for comprehension. Like, every 5 minutes.
70. The problem probably isn’t the rules; it’s how you’re enforcing them
71. Intrinsic motivation beats external motivation every time.
72. Make parents your allies, not your enemies.
73. Never email angry
74. Look for the teachable moments.
75. Create smooth traffic patterns through your classroom
76. Establish consistent routines and procedures. Kids appreciate consistency
77. Avoid negative energy
78. Remember that being a mom/sister/wife/daughter comes first
79. NEVER talk over student noise
80. Plan a robust fart response protocol and have it ready to deploy
81. The kids actually WANT to help you. Let them.
82. Remember that most of them have the attention span of squirrel, and plan accordingly
83. Master the art of the “side hug” – no one’s ever been sued for a side hug
84.  Kids who are hungry, sleepy, or scared aren’t going to prioritize learning.
85. Learn your acronyms
86. Be compassionate: you don’t know what’s happening at home
87. There will never be enough time. Prioritize
88. Energy, enthusiasm, optimism, and curiosity are contagious
89. Executive functioning skills need to be taught
90. Crying is cathartic. Wine/beer is an acceptable alternative
91. Disapprove of the behavior, never the kid
92. Model the behaviours you want to see
93. Apples often don’t fall far from trees, except when they do
94. You can either laugh or cry. Laughing is a lot more fun
95. The more they push, the more they’re hoping you’ll push back.
96. The more they say they don’t need you, the more they do
97. Get used to failure. The mistakes will help you grow.
98.  It’s just a job. Don’t let it become an obsession.
99. 99.         There’s always more to learn
100. 100.      Fake it ‘til you make it
101. You WILL get better

Increasing Engagement in the Classroom: A List of Specific Activities and Strategies

For reasons researchers can't quite pinpoint but that may have something to do with video games, instant gratification, food additives, helicopter parents, cell phones, standardized testing, and/or a universal sense of entitlement - teaching methods that used to be effective in the past aren't successfully capturing the attention of 21st century students. Just go to any economically/culturally/sociologically diverse community and visit a random middle school classroom.  Can't guarantee what you'll find, but I can tell you what you won't find: rows of docile, focused, self-directed students enthusiastically filling in worksheets.

As a result, teachers are perpetually seeking new, novels ways to capture the attention of their students and motivate them to become active participants in their learning. We've even gone so far as figuring out a name for our objective: "engagement." Unfortunately, once you get beyond the word, guidance becomes frustratingly vague and murky. Just how are we supposed to implement tips such as "create opportunities for active learning," "create a safe environment," and "instill a growth mindset"?

For my own purposes I've begun maintaining a list of more specific strategies, which I'm sharing below.  Please feel free to offer suggestions for additions or clarifications!

1. Stimulate their curiosity
1. Capture their attention through the use of a interesting questions or puzzling phenomenon (ex: Is it possible for a child to inherit none of their mom's DNA?; Does geography start wars?; Can a book change the course of history?)
2. Shift emphasis from delivering content to forcing students to construct their own knowledge (ex: Create a working circuit and then challenge students to figure out which way the energy is flowing and why; Give kids the ingredients for photosynthesis & make them figure out how it works)
3. Incentivize students to ask questions (ex: Maintain a parking lot for student questions & encourage students to look up the answers; Use warmups where you show a picture - two animals fighting, a political cartoon, etc. - and challenge kids to invent as many questions as they can think about it)
2. Make it authentic.  First ask yourself - why do they need to learn this? Then create experiences that will allow them to master the content through real-world activities
1. Have them read/interact with authentic materials - federal agency websites, newspaper/blog articles, etc. (ex: Students cut/paste articles and add their own reflections; Webquests that require students to visit primary sources)
2. Allow them to experience using the skills/concepts/knowledge (SCKs) in an authentic context (job) (ex: Model U.N., project based learning, problem based learning, graded conversations)
3. Relate the skills/knowledge/concepts to current affairs (ex: In the coming election, which candidates have the most in common with Federalists? What substances does the Olympic committee ban & why - how exactly do they enhance performance?)
4. Involve other content areas through cross-curricular projects (ex: Students create cell organelle pictures in art; Students study adaptation in both science and history; Students turn their favorite stories/novels into plays; Students map their own PE data in math class)
3. Make it relevant/personal. Ask yourself, why should kids care about this? How does this skill/content/knowledge relate to their personal lives
1. Work in references to pop culture (ex: introduce elements of poetry by analyzing the lyrics of popular songs; Teach graphing by comparing the sales of pop artist albums or sports team stats; ID the Latin root words/suffixes used to form the names of people/spells in the Harry Potter series; Have students create a playlist of songs that represent a specific literary character; Have students locate examples of each type of literary conflict in current movies)
2. Incorporate people/materials that validate all ages, genders and cultures (ex: Read literature representing other countries; Include female speakers/mentors; Expose students to teens who are writers/inventors/business owners; Use students who were born in other countries to educate their classmates about different ecosystems)
3. Allow students to choose activities that are a fit for their interests & learning strengths (ex: Offer assessment choices differentiated by individual preferences/intelligences; Build in time for students to engage in STEM or work on passion projects)
4. Involve family (or animals) (ex: Use parents as mentors; Have students read books aloud to shelter animals)
4. Make it meaningful. Appeal to their sense of sympathy/empathy & build engagement by giving them a chance to make a difference in their school, family or community
1. Inspire them. (ex: Expose them to TEDTalks; Expose them to peers who are making a difference in the world)
2. Let them teach others (ex: Encourage them to tutor/mentor other students; Let them help create assignments)
3. Find opportunities for them to engage in meaningful public service (ex: Make their own PSAs; Plant a bee garden; Run for SCA; Spread the word about climate change through flyers written in their native language)
5. Make it social
1. Teach discourse strategies that enable rich, meaningful academic conversations (ex: Sentence starters, turn-taking structures)
2. Create opportunities for students to interact in academically meaningful activities (ex: Kagan strategies)
3. Let them to argue! Give students opportunities to appropriately express their ideas & opinions. (ex: Socratic seminars, philosophical chairs, debates.)
6. Make it safe
1. Foster a sense of competence by differentiating SCKs so that everyone experiences an equal amount of challenge  (ex: Leveled texts, speech-to-text tech/text-to-speech tech, differentiated homework/assignments/products)
2. Create an environment in which students feel safe exploring, expressing themselves, and failing (ex: Teach growth mindset; Teach mindfulness)
3. Provide constant feedback so kids know they're on the right track (ex: Build opportunities for constant feedback into longer projects)
4. Establish & consistently reinforce rules (ex: Restorative justice; Involve students in developing your classroom management strategies)
7. Make it fun!
1. Add games (ex: Board games, sports-based games, on-line games)
2. Add mild competition (ex: Who was the most important president - pick one and create a project that will convince us; Which Chesapeake Bay organism deserves to win "Bay Critter of the Year"?)
3. Add role-playing (ex: Re-enact historical debates; Dress as a literary character and tell the class about yourself)
4. Add humor (ex: Use memes to reinforce class rules & teach key concepts; Have students create their own political cartoons; Don't be afraid to use puns and corny jokes in your instruction!)
8. Make it hands on
1. Incorporate hands-on activities (ex: Experiments, manipulatives, models/simulations)
2. Incorporate music, art, movement, and performance (ex: Use songs to help students memorize key concepts; Have students dramatize important scientific discoveries)
9. Make it flexible/self-directed.  Offer so-called "voice and choice"
1. "Flip" your classroom (ex: Students learn content at home, then work on projects at school)
2. Build in opportunities for students to influence/control what they learn (content), how they learn (process) and how they demonstrate their learning (assessment) (ex: Offer menus)
3. Make differentiation accessible and "invisible" (ex: Allow students easy access to computers with speech-to-text, text-to-speech, etc.)
10. Make it metacognitive
1. Teach students how to reflect on their own learning (ex: Have them analyze their own learning & Force them to draw their own conclusions rather than providing them; Incorporate deliberate, structured reflection after each activity)
11. Make it interactive/multimedia
1. Offer instruction utilizing a rich mix of media (ex: Audio + visual + kinesthetic)
2. Utilize interactive technologies (ex: Clicker systems, smart boards, QR codes that link to resources; phone-based apps and games like Kahoot) 
3. Utilize the mighty power of the internet! (ex: Webquests, online games & simulations)
4. Allow students to demonstrate their knowledge through multimedia apps (ex: Allow them to create Wixie presentations, movies, podcasts, interactive timelines, etc.)

16 Most Effective Classroom Management Techniques

I'm a special ed teacher, which means I choose to work with kids that have attention deficit, oppositional/defiance disorder, depression, bipolar disorder/mania, and other behaviours that make classroom management challenging. Yet I'm also a gentle soul who doesn't like to yell.  How do I do it? After reading lots of books and trying out lots of things in my classroom, here are my tried and true, truly indispensible tools of the trade.  (NOTE: This is one of the few lists that is copyrighted - see copyright notice at the bottom - as I may wish to work these ideas into professional articles or books in the future. Please DO NOT use without the author's permission!)

1. All seats face front. Our "base" classroom configuration is all seats facing front, with as much space between them as possible given physical constraints of the room. When we do cooperative learning, I have the kids move their desks into pairs or fours ... but this base configurations sends the message that class is about facing front and paying attention, not chatting with friends.
2. Assigned seating.  You aren't being the "cool teacher" when you let students sit with friends who distract them ... you're just being irresponsible.  Your job is to give your students the best possible opportunity to focus on instruction without distraction. You can build friend-time into the curriculum, but for the students, this should never be an expectation.
3. Non-verbal prompts.  When the purpose of misbehaviour is to attract attention, drawing attention to the misbehaviour positively reinforces it.  That's why it's important to develop non-verbal ways of moderating behaviour.  The "mom/dad stare" (the one that says "cut it out now; I'm not kidding") is an indispensible tool.  Hand signals, prearrange signals, subtle shakes of the head, and eye contact also work well.
4. Proximity Control.  Constantly move around the classroom. Teach from wherever you are standing.  Kids generally won't misbehave when you're standing right next to them.  This also gives you a chance to proactively monitor for engagement and understanding. 
5. Class rules. I know the Great Gods of Education advocate a few (3-4) very general class rules, but consider a backup list of rules that address specific issues that arise in your class population.  No need to duplicate school rules; the purpose of class rules (no more than 10) is to "clarify" the way in which those general school rules apply to certain specific behaviours. For instance, my kids tend to do a lot of play-fighting, sound-alike cursing, singing/rapping, and beating on desks.  Therefore, I have class rules that specificially address each of these behaviours.
6. Consistent Rules, Consistently Enforced.  Create rules that are authentic, reasonable and fair; make sure your students understand not just the rules but the reason for the rules; and then, enforce them consistently.  It is the nature of kids to "push" their teachers to find out what they can get away with.  You do them a favor by establishing a wall so obvious and impervious that they know to stop wasting their time testing it.  Just don't err in the opposite direction, a tactic I call "overthreatening" - threatening a consequence so dire or inappropriate that it's obvious to the kids you won't actually go through with it.  Students can tell the difference between a real wall and a fake "I'm-pretending-there's-a-wall-and-it's-big-and-scary!" wall.
7. Punish the behaviour, not the child.  Disapprove of behaviours ... don't disapprove of children!  Children need to understand that your reminders and constraints come from a place of caring and concern, not from a place of censure.  Remind students that your primary concern is maintaining an environment in which everyone has the best opportunity to learn ... so when you move someone to a new assigned seat, or ask them to be quiet, or tell them to lift their head off their desk, it's not punishment ... it's a modification designed to help them (or the other members of the class) learn more successfully, because it matters to you that they are successful.  I remind my students throughout the year that as long as I'm picking on them, it means I still care; it's when I stop picking on them that they know I no longer care. (Naturally, I never stop picking on them!)  When they give me attitude, I like to ask: "Why do you think I'm picking on you?" It's hard for them to stay affronted after they've grudgingly answered: "Because you care."
8. Teach respect and responsibility.  Don't assume students intuitively understand how to apply these terms to the vast number of real-life situations that they encounter in the course of the day.  Help them out by verbally identifying appropriate behaviours and why they are appropriate.  (Ex: "Mr. Smith - It's disrespectful to interrupt someone when they're talking to you because it implies that you place little value on what they are saying"; "Ms. Clark - A true apology means not just saying you're sorry, but modifying your behaviour to prove that you are sorry.")
9. Model respect and fairness.  Treat students as you yourself would like to be treated - which means addressing them with courtesy (I make liberal use of the courtesy titles "mister", "misses", "sir",. and "ma'am"), listening respectfully to their ideas/opinions, and treating them with consistency and fairness.  Any military commander will tell you that controlling the high ground is strategically critical; so too is occupying the moral high ground in your classroom.  Hoever (big caveat)  ... also make sure class rule #10 is "The Ref is always right." Life doesn't come with instant replay, which means that sometimes, as a teacher, you are going to need to "call them as you see them." Help your students understand that sometimes the calls will go for them, and sometimes against them, but that the ref's call must be respected as the final authority.  This is an important lesson for the classroom and for life.
10. No downtime! Downtime/boredom is the enemy of classroom management.  Not only do you lose whatever time you waste, but you lose even more time refocusing your students on the task at hand. For students, "no downtime" means bell-to-bell instruction with smooth, seamless transitions between activities.  For teachers, "no downtime" requires being prepared, deploying your materials in advance, and anticipating/planning for contingencies.
11. Use positive reinforcement.  Nothing is as poisonous as an atmosphere in which errors are promptly corrected but good behaviour is "expected" and, therefore, unacknowledged. My own experience has taught me that you must provide positive reinforcement at a ratio of at least 3:1 to negative reinforcement.  But (big caveat) - no overpraising! Kids know when they are being condescended to and will lose respect for your judgment if you persist.  Also, don't stop positively reinforcing a behaviour just because it appears to have become "habit."  While it is appropriate to fade your positive reinforcement over time, students deserve periodic recognition for sustained good behaviour.
12. Vest students in their own learning.  External motivation only goes so far; eventually, kids have to become internally motivated to learn. To foster internal motivation, you must be proactively help kids understand the direct relationship between what you are teaching and the skills they need to achieve their goals as adults.  If they understand why their efforts are important, they will gradually place a higher priority on those efforts. Caveat: don't make the mistake of assuming "so you can pass the test" or "so you can get a good grade" are sufficiently motivational. Many kids don't care about tests or grades ... but they do care about college, being able to work a job they enjoy, living independently, helping their families, and being able to have choices about their lives.
13. Use humor (but never humiliate).  Humor is good - it makes awkward moments less awkward (as when a student gives a wildly inappropriate answer), it makes boring lessons less boring ("let's learn hyperbole by telling mama jokes!"), and it personalizes you as a teacher.  Sarcasm, however, is wicked - a form of humor that involves the humiliation of someone less clever by someone who is more clever.  Not only is the humiliation (in any form) of a child by an adult inherently shameful, but it almost always has an effect opposite of that intended, as children who have been humiliated are rarely chastened by their teacher's display of wit or power: more often, they become angry, sullen, and/or defensive.
14. Pick your battles.  If you fight every battle with the same ferocity, you'll soon grow exhausted ... and, by the way, deprive your students of an opportunity to appreciate that life is rarely black and white, but mostly grey.  Let your most important objectives drive your most important battles.  (Ex: making them understand the interaction between the three branches of government is important. Making them remember to sharpen their pencil at the beginning of class, not so much.  So, save your energy for negotiating with the student who has his head down, and learn to live with kids sharpening their pencils in the middle of class.)
15. Never escalate.  Along the same lines, remember that, as the adult, you are the authority in the room.  You never, ever compromise your authority by allowing a student to control or escalate a situation.  Some students find the attention - even negative attention - to be positively reinforcing.  In such situations, the only way to win is not to play. (My favorite quote from the '80 classic Wargames.) You retain control of the situation by (1) removing the child from the classroom, so that the attention of peers is removed as a positive reinforcer; and (2) remaining calm, reasonable, consistent, and fair.
16. Make your lessons active and engaging.  This may be last but it is in no way "least." Always, always remember that your students are children.  They crave activity, mental stimulation, and play.  Create lessons that make them feel like they're playing, and classroom management takes care of itself.

Copyright 2010 by Shirley Jeanette Thomas