20 Classes That Really Need to Added to the 21st Century Teacher Prep Curriculum

Not advocating that they drop Human Development, Differentiation, or Strategies for At-Risk Learners, but here's a list of classes that - AFTER a few years of teaching - I realize my teaching prep program really should have incorporated, because I felt woefully unprepared:  

1. Basic Classroom Cleanup and Repair. The class would address such universal issues as how to remove permanent ink from desks & smartboards, mitigate glitter spills, tidy Starbucks spills, contain germs, exterminate vermin, and address eruptions of nausea without triggering whole class "sympathetic vomiting," among other challenges. 
2. The Care and Maintenance of Antiquated Technology. As long as schools remain underfunded, it's likely to continue to be up to teachers to repair their own classroom HVAC systems, smartboards, obsolete laptops, buggy software, and tragically outdated apps.
3. Cultural Media for Teachers of Teens. An important element of "meeting students where they are" is being able to communicate with them. This class would cover how to interpret contemporary slang (ex: "Deadass not my L, bruh! Bro popped off first FR!"), recognize pop culture references (Taytay), and social media trends (Ballerina Cappuccina). 
4. Understanding the Social-Emotional Impacts of Social Media on Youth. Now that we're finally acknowledging the extent to which social media is messing with the social and psychological well-being of our youngest generations, we probably ought to be figuring out ways to proactively address these issues in the classroom where, God knows, they're omnipresent.
5. Strategies for Building Student Curiosity, Engagement, and Internal Motivation. We're pretty good at forcing them right up to the water, but how do we make them want to drink? Ideally, the class would eschew the myriad of debunked and "fad" solutions (praise! external rewards! whole-class punishment! peer mentoring!) in favor of, you know, actual research validated techniques. 
6. Behaviour Management Strategies for “Those Students.” Theory's fine for the 95%, but teachers are being left entirely without resources for addressing "those students" - the ones possessed with the creativity and determination to sneer at Skinner, mock Pavlov, and baffle Glasser. 
7. Chaos Theory and Management.  Isn't it time we acknowledged that being able to function within a system characterized by randomness and unpredictability is a core teacher competency? 
8. How Schools Have Changed Since You Were a Kid. This class will not only cover the many bewildering ways in which schools have in the short time since you were last there ("Where's the overhead projector? What the hell is gamification?"), but with deal with the psychological despair associated with embracing change. 
9. Maintaining Work/Life Balance. This critical class would provide techniques for protecting your prep time, managing inappropriate expectations, avoiding decision fatigue, recognizing and processing toxic positivity, and engaging in self care. (Just kidding! There is actually no way to maintain a healthy work/life balance, but if new teachers were to figure this out, they'd likely abandon the profession in droves, so this class is mostly just gaslighting.) 
10. Stress Management: Recognizing and Mitigating Common Sources of Anxiety. The class would cover the 152 identified causes of teacher stress, debunk popular but entirely ineffective strategies for managing stress ("self care," whatever that is!), and briefly mention the handful of strategies that have actually proven effective at managing job-related anxiety (ex: wine).
11. Strategies for Working Smarter, Not Harder.  As the demands placed on teachers exponentially increase (personalized learning, blended learning, digital literacy, SEL ...), this class will survey the logarithmic development of new strategies to help teachers work more efficiently. 
12. Navigating Challenging School Cultures. This class will prepare teachers for the range of challenges they are likely to face (teacher cliques, bad admins, rogue PTAs, entitled parents) that have nothing to do with actually teaching.  
13. De-Escalating Conflicts With Students, Parents, Coworkers, and Admins. The curriculum will review strategies employed successfully by social workers, customer service representatives, crisis counselors, internet moderators, hostage negotiators and wild animal trainers to de-escalate tense interactions with parents and peers.  
14. Introduction to Educational Fads. This course will investigate the US's long (long, long) history of educational manias, whims, and vogues, review strategies for recognizing educational fads (are they based on a best selling book? are they supported solely by anecdotal evidence?), and review strategies for how to appropriate respond to admins intent upon integrating educational fads into your curriculum.
15. The Hidden Curriculum. This class would review the extensive extra-curricular content teachers are expected to deliver (social norms & expectations, career readiness, collaboration, executive functioning, emotional intelligence, etc.), and strategies for integrating this content into lesson planning without despair.
16. Assessment Strategies 101. How to design assessments that are strictly aligned to standards yet also authentic, project-based yet easy to grade, rigorous yet simple, digital yet hack-proof, differentiated yet standardized, valid yet also far too short to actually assess the scope of the assigned content. 
17. Producing Effective and Engaging Digital Content. The objective of this course will be to help teachers design digital content engaging enough to successfully compete with professionally designed, algorithm-driven video games, media platforms and digital feeds for student attention.  
18. Managing Parent Communications and Expectations. Nicknamed "Know Your Quotes," this class introduces the range of scripted responses (constantly interrupts instruction = "eager to contribute their insights and perspectives") that you will need to tactfully communicate with parents and peers.
19. Proactive Paperwork Management Strategies. Strategies for how to cope with the extensive reporting requirements that you will encounter as a teacher, from IEPs to 504s, FBAs to behaviour contracts, narratives to grade reports to parent notifications to performance reviews. 
20. How to Effect Change Without Getting Fired. The course will explore strategies for introducing innovative, authentic, engaging practices into your classroom without upsetting colleagues, alarming admins, or earning the enmity of stakeholders vested in maintaining the status quo.