11/20/2011

Board Games That Could Be Made Into Movies


Once Hollywood started turning theme park rides into movies, figured it wouldn't be long before they started looking for inspiration in the aisles of Toys 'R' Us.  After all, they did actually make a movie version of Clue a while ago, and isn't Hunt for Red October pretty much just a movie version of Battleship? Recently a movie called Reel Steel appeared in local theaters, a flick about fighting robots that had to have been inspired Rock'm Sock'm Robots, whether they'll admit it or not.

Here are a bunch of other childhood favorites that Hollywood may wish to consider:
  1. Candyland.  A group of teens dare each other to spend the night in an abandoned candy factory.  Just one problem: the factory is already inhabited by a demented candy-maker.  Ever since the original 1971 version of Charlie and the Chocolate Factory this one's been swirling in my head - you just had to look into Gene Wilder's eyes to know he was one gobstopper away from being a serial killer. 
  2. Snakes and Ladders.  Cave explorers discover a magnificent underground cavern system.  Just one problem: it's infested with deadly snakes!  Will they escape with their lives?
  3. Hungry, Hungry Hippos.  A television crew filming an Ultimate Fishing show on the mighty Amazon River start disappearing one by one ...
  4. Life.  A screwball comedy version along the lines of Ultimate Race, in which 5 families (chosen because of their dysfunctionality) are given a mini-van and 2 weeks to follow the clues that will lead to a $10M prize.  Along the way they have to complete different kooky career-like tasks (a la the glorious "candy factory" episode of I Love Lucy), care for a baby (I'm thinking the mechanical kind they use for "family life" classes at high schools - lots of zany possibilities there), participate in a college scavenger hunt ("find a fraternity boy who will admit to being a virgin!"), etc.  They'll definitely need to haul Chevy Chase out of retirement for this one. 
  5. Barrel of Monkeys.  Mutant monkeys on an isolated island sneak into the cargo bay of a tourist plane and wreaking havoc once they reach the city.  A cross between Snakes on a Plane and Planet of the Apes?
  6. Operation.  Like those Saw movies, except the psycho killer forces people to operate on their loved ones.  Undoubtedly without anesthesia.
  7. Stratego.  Two kids playing a wargame don't realize that simultaneously, in an alternate reality, their battle is actually happening.
  8. Cooties.  The next big thing - and I do mean Big Thing - after Godzilla: bugs that have been accidentally irradiated and mutated into monstrous size.
  9. Kerplunk.  A group of explorers have discovered a magical city of gold hidden beneath a mountain of boulders.  Can the extract the gold without the boulders collapsing and killing them all?
  10. Monopoly.  The sequel to Wall Street that they should have made, instead of the awful mess they tried to foist on us a couple of years ago.
  11. Sorry.  A distopian sci-fi vehicle, a la Hunger Games, in which slaves complete a contest to win their freedom, but if they lose they get sent back into slavery  
  12. Mystery Date.  A sweet rom-com vehicle in which three girls go forth in search of their "perfect man" ... only to realize, after many kooky mishaps, that they have each fallen in love with a guy that's the opposite of what they thought they wanted.
  13. Thin Ice.  A thriller involving a group of people stranded in the arctic by a plane crash who have to cross frozen ice in order to reach safety ... but will they survive the crossing? 
  14. Ants in the Pants.  An animated Pixar-type flick in which ants are forced out of their nest by an evil landscaping company and take up residence in an curmudgeonly old businessman's pants.  All turns out for the best in the end, though, because the ants teach him how the key to success in business - and life - is working as a team.
  15. Mr. Potatohead.  A horror film in which a modern-day Dr. Frankenstein merges vegetable and human DNA, creating a monstrous human-potato clone that terrorizes a rural community.
  16. Mousetrap.  A serial killer prepares elaborate labyrinth-type traps to torture and torment his victims before the cage finally falls over their heads (metaphorically speaking).

No comments:

Post a Comment