60+ Reasons Why Men Have it Better Than Women

Standing in yet another long line to access the ladies room at a public venue, some of the ladies and I began discussing the advantages of being a man in this society -  one of the foremost being that because they have an "express lane" option, men almost never have to loiter in long bathroom lines making conversation with a bunch of women waiting desperately to pee.

Below is a list of some of the insights that we came up with that night, combined with other suggestions I've picked up from friends and the web. My conclusion, with which James Brown would agree: "It's a man's world".

1. Express line in public bathrooms
2. No one expects you to wrap presents
3. You don't have to plan the wedding
4. No one notices if your wallets don't match your shoes
5. Car salesmen don't condescend to you
6. Haircuts take 5 minutes
7. You can wear a white teeshirt to a waterpark
8. You can enjoy a drink at a bar without getting hit on
9. Grey hair and wrinkles make you look more distinguished
10. 3 pairs of shoes are plenty
11. When it comes to best friends, dogs are cheaper than diamonds
12. No matter how long the trip, all you need is one suitcase
13. You can hang out at bars without getting hit on
14. People look at your face, not your chest, when they talk to you
15. On hot days you can go topless
16. What do I wear tonight? Suit, suit, or suit?
17. You still get toys for Christmas
18. Your shoes fit
19. No pantyhose
20. The world is your urinal
21. Whole summer blockbuster movie season is for your benefit
22. You gets sports channels; we get cooking channels
23. People don't look surprised when you're good at math
24. You never have to figure out how to use a tampon
25. A friend is anyone who roots for the same team you do
26. You can pee standing up
27. No one expects you to write thank you letters
28. No pink toys
29. Movies don't need to be intelligent to be entertaining
30. One swimsuit is plenty
31. Career choices include cowboy, explorer, and pirate
32. You don't have to lose weight before class reunions and weddings
33. Bachelor parties are way more fun than bachelorette parties
34. You can sit down in a chair without crossing your legs
35. You can walk outside alone after dark
36. Las Vegas
37. No makeup
38. Your tux doesn't make you look fat
39. Dressing up for a party takes 10 minutes
40. You can open your own jars
41. No one expects you to order the salad
42. When you sleep with more than one person, you're a player, not a slut
43. Everyone knows how to spell your first name
44. No morning sickness
45. No bras
46. You only have to shave one thing
47. You don't have to be twice as smart as everyone else to get promoted
48. No one expects you to look good in the morning
49. You can wear hats without having to worry about hat-head
50. You can change a tire without having to worry about breaking a nail
51. Girls don't beg you to make out with your best friend
52. No tan lines
53. No hot wax
54. Whether you choose boxes or briefs, they're both a heck of a lot more comfortable than a g-string
55. Colleges want you (to balance out all the women)
56. You make more money for doing the same work
57. No line at fitting rooms
58. No piercing required
59. Friends only call when they have a reason
60. You can travel overseas unescorted
61. No one suspects you of having slept your way to the top
62. Your sports teams are taken seriously
63. Hallmark commercials don't make you cry
64. You get Ginger or MaryAnne; we get Gilligan, the Skipper, or Mr. Howell