60+ Reasons Why Men Have it Better Than Women

Standing in yet another long line to access the ladies room at a public venue, some of the ladies and I began discussing the advantages of being a man in this society -  one of the foremost being that because they have an "express lane" option, men almost never have to loiter in long bathroom lines making conversation with a bunch of women waiting desperately to pee.

Below is a list of some of the insights that we came up with that night, combined with other suggestions I've picked up from friends and the web. My conclusion, with which James Brown would agree: "It's a man's world".
  1. Express line in public bathrooms
  2. No one expects you to wrap presents
  3. You don't have to plan the wedding
  4. No one notices if your wallets don't match your shoes
  5. Car salesmen don't condescend to you
  6. Haircuts take 5 minutes
  7. You can wear a white teeshirt to a waterpark
  8. You can enjoy a drink at a bar without getting hit on
  9. Grey hair and wrinkles make you look more distinguished
  10. 3 pairs of shoes are plenty
  11. When it comes to best friends, dogs are cheaper than diamonds
  12. No matter how long the trip, all you need is one suitcase
  13. You can hang out at bars without getting hit on
  14. People look at your face, not your chest, when they talk to you
  15. On hot days you can go topless
  16. What do I wear tonight? Suit, suit, or suit?
  17. You still get toys for Christmas
  18. Your shoes fit
  19. No pantyhose
  20. The world is your urinal
  21. Whole summer blockbuster movie season is for your benefit
  22. You gets sports channels; we get cooking channels
  23. People don't look surprised when you're good at math
  24. You never have to figure out how to use a tampon
  25. A friend is anyone who roots for the same team you do
  26. You can pee standing up
  27. No one expects you to write thank you letters
  28. No pink toys
  29. Movies don't need to be intelligent to be entertaining
  30. One swimsuit is plenty
  31. Career choices include cowboy, explorer, and pirate
  32. You don't have to lose weight before class reunions and weddings
  33. Bachelor parties are way more fun than bachelorette parties
  34. You can sit down in a chair without crossing your legs
  35. You can walk outside alone after dark
  36. Las Vegas
  37. No makeup
  38. Your tux doesn't make you look fat
  39. Dressing up for a party takes 10 minutes
  40. You can open your own jars
  41. No one expects you to order the salad
  42. When you sleep with more than one person, you're a player, not a slut
  43. Everyone knows how to spell your first name
  44. No morning sickness
  45. No bras
  46. You only have to shave one thing
  47. You don't have to be twice as smart as everyone else to get promoted
  48. No one expects you to look good in the morning
  49. You can wear hats without having to worry about hat-head
  50. You can change a tire without having to worry about breaking a nail
  51. Girls don't beg you to make out with your best friend
  52. No tan lines
  53. No hot wax
  54. Whether you choose boxes or briefs, they're both a heck of a lot more comfortable than a g-string
  55. Colleges want you (to balance out all the women)
  56. You make more money for doing the same work
  57. No line at fitting rooms
  58. No piercing required
  59. Friends only call when they have a reason
  60. You can travel overseas unescorted
  61. No one suspects you of having slept your way to the top
  62. Your sports teams are taken seriously
  63. Hallmark commercials don't make you cry
  64. You get Ginger or MaryAnne; we get Gilligan, the Skipper, or Mr. Howell

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