|"Hey, sweetie, I think he just stuck a knife through your hand! Here, let me get a light ...|
OMG, has your hand been that deformed the whole time?"
|"I'll give you a hand a second, darling - just as soon as I put this vase back where it belongs."|
|"This tie is constantly obstructing my aim! I hate this mobster dress code!"|
|"I SERIOUSLY need to reconsider posting my dating profile on MobThrob.com"|
|"Like any moderately competent female, you'll notice I've taken the time to |
don high heels, do my hair, and color-coordinate my harness with my dress.
Honestly, I don't know why men always insist on making this look so hard."
|"I could just go and get a bandaid for this little scratch on my head, but instead|
I think I'll lie here and painstakingly spell out the name of my attacker in pearls."
|"Apparently you missed my performance in the talent portion of the competition,|
you asshole, because for me 'fighting crime' ain't just some words on a sash!"
|"Okay, guys, I'm depending on you to hold off the anti-vax, flat earth, climate change denying wackos long enough for me to publish my validated scientific findings in a peer-reviewed journal!"|
|"That's it - I'm never working at a VA hospital again!"|