10/15/2023

70+ Ways to Terrify a Teacher in 5 Words or Less

 

This one goes out to all my teacher peers who find themselves in a continual state of stress and can't figure out why. You aren't imaging things, my friends - the fear is real! 

  1. Here’s another district initiative
  2. You're getting a new student
  3. Let’s analyze the data
  4. “Just differentiate more”
  5. Where’s your lesson plan?
  6. Grades are due today
  7. Meetings will be during prep
  8. We’ll need you to cover
  9. We’re adding more required trainings
  10. We are short staffed
  11. Your sub has cancelled
  12. There are no subs
  13. Please avoid requesting leave
  14. “You’ll be floating”
  15. Today is your observation
  16. There's a full moon
  17. The day after Halloween
  18. “I’m going to throw up”
  19. "My head itches"
  20. The copier is jammed/broken
  21. No more copy paper
  22. The internet is down
  23. The A/C is out
  24. The cage is empty
  25. School starts next week
  26. Tomorrow is Monday
  27. Year round schooling
  28. We’re shortening winter break
  29. We’re extending the school year
  30. It didn't snow
  31. No more snow days!
  32. The soda machine is empty
  33. We’re out of coffee
  34. Indoor recess today
  35. You've been assigned lunch duty
  36. “Can we use glitter?”
  37. “I forgot my meds”
  38. Let’s start with an icebreaker
  39. It's testing season
  40. Principal needs to see you
  41. Parent has requested a meeting
  42. We’ve received a complaint
  43. “My child told me …”
  44. "My mom/dad says ..."
  45. They’re bringing their advocate
  46. The parent is always right
  47. Stomach flu is going around
  48. It's probably just a cold
  49. S/he's a spitter/runner/biter
  50. S/he has a sibling
  51. You taught my parent
  52. You're not eligible for retirement
  53. Just follow the script
  54. Teach to the test
  55. We're going virtual/hybrid
  56. No holidays this month
  57. You'll be chaperoning
  58. Mandatory committee assignments
  59. We’re introducing new software
  60. We're adopting new standards
  61. We’re piloting a new initiative
  62. We're overenrolled this year
  63. We're increasing class sizes
  64. No raises this year
  65. Budgets are being tightened
  66. Anyone can teach
  67. It's just a little mold
  68. You can't teach that anymore
  69. That book is now banned
  70. That might offend someone
  71. "I'm having trouble breathing"
  72. Gang activity is increasing
  73. "There's going to be a fight"
  74. "S/he has a gun"
  75. Please shelter in place
  76. This is not a drill

 

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