11/14/2024

10+ Factors That Perpetuate Poverty in the United States


Like many Americans, I struggle to understand why a country as rich in resources and opportunities as the U.S. still has one of the highest poverty rates of any advanced country. So when I spotted Matthew Desmond's Poverty by America on bookshelves, I immediately bought myself a copy, not willing to wait the 2+ months to obtain one of the copies stocked by our local library system. (Because apparently I'm not the only one with similar questions!) Figured Desmond's credentials as an award winning author (his Evicted won a Pulitzer Prize), in addition to the book's hefty 76 pages of annotated footnotes, was likely to ensure a reasoned and data-supported analysis of the issue.

As I'd hoped, the first half of the book spoke directly to my question, addressing the various reasons that poverty persists in the U.S. These chapters left me appropriately enlightened and appalled. The second half of the book then went on to propose realistic solutions, one of which is, basically, "get the word out!" Desmond strongly believes that ongoing politic rhetoric, ignorance, and disinformation mask the fact that poverty reduction unites and benefits us all. For this reason, I'm hoping he won't mind if I use this blog post as a way to "spread the word" about the actual factors that contribute to endemic poverty in this nation, with an eye towards creating an informed populace that will demand that our elected officials support initiatives that lead to actual, lasting poverty emancipation. 

To be clear, the prose below is mine (I've summarized Desmond's main ideas in my own, much less artful/precise words), but the ideas and references are all Desmond's. If this topic intrigues you, I strongly urge you to go to the primary source, his Poverty by America, in order to access a wider, deeper, and much more informed analysis of the issues presented below. 

As the title suggests, am dedicating this blog post to a discussion of some of the factors that perpetuate poverty in the U.S. Look for my next blog post, in which I'll lay out "10+ Initiatives for Reducing Poverty in the United States," inspired by the latter chapter's of Desmond's narrative. A little hope to leaven the bleakness of the list below! 

10+ reasons that poverty is endemic in the U.S.:

  1. It's profitable. The first thing to understand is that, here in the U.S., poverty is a profit industry. A partial list of some of the folks who profit:  
    1. Landlords, who exploit the desperation of their impoverished customers, lackadaisical oversight, and laws very clearly weighted in their favor to charge above-market rates for often substandard housing. Turns out people will put up with a lot of inequality when their only other option is homelessness. 
    2. Banks, who profit from overdraft and other fees.
    3. Predatory lenders (payday loan companies, pawnshops) that exploit the fact that many poor people don't have sufficient cash flow to maintain bank accounts and are desperate enough to entangle themselves in loans with interest rates of up to 500%.
    4. Lawyers hired by the poor in order to obtain the government aid (SSDI, SSI) that they are legally entitled to - lawyers only too happy to provide their services on spec in exchange a portion of the funds their clients are awarded.
    5. Politicians, who divert federal funding meant for the poor to fund their own pork projects (ex: concerts, stadiums) or to forward their own political agendas (ex: abstinence education in schools). (Do a quick internet search on how Mississippi used welfare money to pay for a volleyball complex and concerts by a gospel singer!) 
    6. Employers, who understand that the easiest way to motivate workers to accept unacceptable jobs (low pay, ruinous hours, unpaid overtime, unsafe conditions) is to make sure their only other choice is hunger and homelessness.
    7. "Sin industries" such as tobacco, alcohol, gambling, and the lottery, that exploit the self-destructive behaviours of desperate populations.
  2. Predatory housing. Many poor in America pay more in rent than they would in mortgage payments. So why aren't they buying homes - one of the most reliable paths to wealth generation in this country? One reason: banks don't make enough profit off of small mortgages to make it worth their while. Another reason: many poor are required to conduct their transactions in cash (landlords/purchasers won't accept any other form of payment), making it difficult for them to establish credit.  
  3. Exclusionary zoning laws. When redlining was nixed, many cities simply switched to exclusionary zoning, figuring that if they couldn't keep "undesirable elements" out, then they could at least exclude the types of housing that attract "undesirable elements" - apartments, subsidized housing. These zoning laws have the effect of concentrating people living in poverty in neighborhoods that are underserved by commercial and public infrastructure, which in turn exposes them to factors that perpetuate poverty, including: 
    1. Over-priced food. In neighborhoods with no grocery stores, people can't leverage warehouse pricing or comparison shop for good deals. And dollar stores, despite their name, are no bargain, forcing people to pay $1 for products that cost much less in other outlets. 
    2. Under-performing schools. Schools in poor neighborhoods have difficulty attracting the programs, funding, and teachers that schools in wealthier neighborhoods insist upon. 
  4. We make accessing benefits too hard. Contrary to the opinion of many Americans, our country's poor are actually pretty bad at being welfare dependent. Every year, billions of dollars remain unclaimed by people who are qualified for the benefits. Why?
    1. We make it extremely hard for people to apply for benefits. Forms are complicated, directions are wordy, guidance is contradictory, and the process often requires access to the internet, overlooking the fact that poor populations often have limited access to the web (no computers, cellphones with expensive data plans). 
    2. Our current administrative processes are so inefficient, underfunded, and overwhelmed, qualified applicants are often required to reapply multiple times before being found eligible. All too often, the only recourse the poor have is to hire a lawyer to advocate for them, which means forking over 25% of what they win to lawyers who are most definitely *not* poor.
  5. Companies are incented to exploit workers. Shareholders and the stock markets reward profit without much caring how that profit is extracted. One of the easiest ways to increase profit? Reduce labor costs, a process that is facilitated by:
    1. A minimum wage that ensures workers remain susceptible to hunger and homelessness, incenting them to continue working no matter how difficult/unjust the conditions.
    2. Exploitation of workers (often ELLs or undereducated) either unfamiliar with their legally protected rights or unwilling/unable to demand them. 
    3. Mandatory non-compete clauses that limit the ability of workers to sell their skills to the highest bidder. Your employer at Jiffy Lube is cheating you out of overtime? That non-compete agreement they forced you to sign as a condition of employment means you can't apply for a similar job with a competitor.  To be clear, we're not talking about tech workers here: we're talking about hair stylists, factory workers, fast food workers, car salesmen, and nurses. These employers aren't concerned about proprietary information; they're using non-competes as a way to trap employees and limit wage competition. 
    4. A legal system that is designed to discourage collective action through laws that give employers wide scope to discourage unionization and punish potential organizers. 
  6. Unfair taxation policies. While our income tax is ostensibly "progressive" (based on income level), many taxes - sales taxes, property taxes - are not. In fact, the % of overall income that poor people pay in taxes ends up being almost as high as what our wealthiest citizens pay. (If you're thinking that it feels counterproductive to give poor people public assistance and then collect 25% of it back in taxes, then you're right.)
  7. Our health care situation. Obamacare and Medicare provide some coverage, but few of these policies are free or comprehensive, and people who live on the margins of poverty - just enough to get by - often don't qualify for the subsidies they need. Exacerbating this situation is the fact that people who live in poverty often have more extreme, endemic health issues, due to (among other factors) poor nutrition, lack of appropriate preventative care, and inability to pay for prescriptions over time. 
  8. Our child care situation. It's impossible to overestimate the impact of our country's child care system on the poor. Child care can consume up to 50% of the take home earnings generated by a typical minimum wage job. Assistance programs that require single parents to work in order to qualify for benefits are ensuring that those single parents will remain impoverished. (Meanwhile, due to our broken and politicized healthcare system, women who wish to delay pregnancy often lack the means to maintain sustained access to birth control.) 
  9. The way we do jail. Jail may or may not rehabilitate prisoners, but it does pretty much doom them to lives of poverty. Untrained in any usable skills, disqualified by employers reluctant to hire them, often disconnected from the support system of their families by policies that house prisoners in jails far removed from their homes & restrict phone calls ... these individuals face often insurmountable odds when it comes to building wealth. 
  10. Programs that accommodate poverty without alleviating it. Too many of our social programs - including food stamps, housing assistance, and health care - are designed to help the poor survive rather than help them build wealth. 
  11. Absence of choice. One of the least understood but most insidious factors trapping people in poverty: absence of choice. A huge part of being an efficient consumer is being able to avail oneself of choice:  the choice to join a discount warehouse, to visit a doctor that's preapproved by your insurance, to select a bank that doesn't impose steep fees, to shop for bargains utilizing information accessible via the internet. But these options often aren't available to people who lack access to reliable transportation and/or internet access, who can't afford to take time off work, or who are simply too exhausted after their 60-80hr work weeks to engaged in informed consumerism.


11/06/2024

100+ Ways to Terrify a Teacher


How do you terrify a teacher? It's not easy! We're surrounded by some of the most horrifying work conditions imaginable: impossible expectations, widespread disrespect, hormonal teenagers ....

But our jobs can definitely be nightmarish, as the following list suggests. Here's my list of 100+ things sure to unsettle  even the most jaded teacher:  

  1. There's a full moon. Ask any teacher: students get nutty on full moon days. (Parents too.) 
  2.  It’s the day before winter or summer break … and admins have clearly communicated that instruction must occur: no parties, movies, or games. Ever been trapped in a cage with 30 hyenas scenting blood?
  3. The day after Halloween. Trying to keep students on task All Hallow's Eve is bad enough ("Ms. T, my dinosaur costume keeps knocking over the beakers!"), but attempting to instruct them the day AFTER Halloween, when they're sleep deprived and sugared up like alcoholics at an open bar? They should give us hazard pay. 
  4. Valentines Day. Soooooooooooooooo. much. drama.
  5.  The copier jams just as you're trying to make copies for the class that's arriving
  6. Due to cost constraints, admin decides to ration the copier paper
  7. The school wifi goes down just as your students are accessing the day's lesson plan - which, of course, is entirely online
  8. The projector bulb burns out just as you're beginning to deliver your lesson
  9. The HVAC in your classroom fails on either the hottest or coldest week of the year
  10. Being assigned to a new classroom and competing for cabinet space with the abandoned detritus of the 50-100 years of teachers that came before you. 
  11. The district announces that they've invested in new software to replace the software you only just figured out how to use.
  12.  Due to poor maintenance and vandalism, the only working bathroom is now on the other side of the building. 
  13. Lice. Ringworm. Fleas. Bedbugs. Basically, vermin of any sort. 
  14. Stomach flu is "going around"
  15. "This notice is to inform you that one of your students has tested positive for ..."
  16. The substitute teacher you lined up weeks in advance has just cancelled, and no one else is signing up for the job
  17. Outdoor recess has been cancelled, leaving you trapped in a classroom with 30 feral ferrets for the next half hour. 
  18. The coffee maker/soda machine is out of order
  19. Someone ate the lunch you placed, clearly labelled, in the refrigerator in the teacher lounge.
  20. Being tasked at the end of the year to dispose of all the mysteriously stained bags, moldy Tupperware containers, and tin foil blobs at the back of the same fridge. (Perhaps even discovering some of those lunches that went missing during the year!) 
  21. The PTA "Teachers Appreciation Week" buffet is out of food by the time you get their because you were trapped in an IEP meeting that wouldn't end. 
  22. You just realized your class pet is dead, and the day is only half over
  23. Someone spilled glitter all over the classroom floor
  24. The boys all got Axe body spray gift packs for Christmas
  25. Someone lets loose a fart so foul, there's no choice but to implement chemical gas evacuation procedures
  26. After class you discover the floor littered with spitballs, reminding you that there is literally no way to effectively police spitballs. Outbreaks wax and wane with the immutibility of ocean tides.
  27. A group of students do *way* too well on a test, but you can't figure out how they cheated.
  28. One of your students posts to social media a video of you doing something embarassing: dancing, making a face, or saying something preposterous. ("Don't make me call Santa Claus and tell him that you're goofing off!")
  29. Dead-weight colleagues that rely on the rest of the team to do all the work for them.
  30. Cliquey colleagues who, finding themselves back in a school setting, default to establishing  social hierarchies based off-hours socializing, access to admins, and condescension. Mean girls have nothing on mean teachers! 
  31. Parents who email you evenings and weekends, and then get testy when you don't get right back to them
  32. Emails from "those parents" - long, rambling missives that range from passive-aggressive to outright hostile. 
  33. Finding out that parents are bringing an advocate with them to the IEP meeting.
  34. Your students begins their sentence with "But my mom/dad said ...." ("... my soccer practice was more important than your homework," "... if it's not posted to the class website, I don't have to do it," "... you can catch me up on what I missed during your lunch period.")
  35. Your admin begins their sentence with "I need to ask you a favor." Actual examples from my personal collection: Organize the school field trip; create and implement a school-wide community service project; participate in a skit for the pep rally; plan the end-of-the-year awards ceremony.  
  36. All the chaperones that signed up for the field trip cancel at the last minute or no-show.  
  37. The parent of 'that' students insists that "their child would never ...!" Other variations: "None of their other teachers have ever complained," "She certainly doesn't do that at home," and "You've had it in for our child since the beginning pf the school year!" 
  38. Parents who expect you to parent their child. Actual examples from my personal collection: "Can you comb his hair if he forgets to do it himself?" "Will you tell me if she doesn't eat her vegetables?" "Will you try to sit him next to xxx, because I want him to be accepted by the 'cool kids'?"
  39. Parents who pull their students out of school for 2-4 weeks but expect you to be able to assemble a packet of worksheets that will teach everything they're going to miss so that their grade isn't jeopardized.
  40. One of your students is allergic to everything, so you're expected to wipe down their desk, chair, and all materials before every class - and if anything goes wrong, you will most definitely be held accountable
  41. The student they're adding to your class mid-year is being transitioned from the "alternative high school"
  42. One or more of your students has an IEP for oppositional defiance disorder
  43. One of your parent emails you to let you know that their student forgot to take their ADHD medicine that morning
  44. Your student is pale and nauseous, but the clinic is closed because the county health aid is absent ... again. 
  45. A student throws up in the classroom, triggering a cascade of puking that sends half your class dashing to the nearest trash can or sink.
  46. You finally transition "that" kid to the next grade, only to discover you're going to be teaching their younger brother/sister next year
  47. A new Tiktok challenge - pour vegetable oil on the bathroom floors! remove one of the two screws that fastens the legs to the student chairs! - plunges the school into chaos. 
  48. Running into former students at local restaurants, theaters, swimming pools, or stores. These encounters are most likely to occur when you're dressed in unflattering clothes, attending an awkward movie (something with a lot of sex, or ponies), or buying replacement underwear. 
  49. Navigating packed parking lots and incredibly complex traffic patterns surrounded by cars piloted by drivers with, at best, learner's permits.  Remember those old driver's ed films featuring cars coming at you from every direction while, simultaneously, a dog darts out in front of you followed by a little kid paying no attention to traffic? That's nothing compared to the insanity of your average high school parking lot
  50. It becomes apparent that some sort of ongoing drama has pervading your classroom via social media, triggering eruptions of astonishment, fury, and tears that prove impossible to teach through. 
  51. "VIP" students, the children of fellow teachers, the principal, school board members, or local politicians. You just know you're being constantly watched and judged!
  52. One of your students accuses you of something unprofessional: pushing, yelling, cursing. In this litigious age, teachers live in fear of being targeted by students or eager for attention, or vengeance.
  53. An angry/scary student threatens physical harm as retaliation for some perceived slight. 
  54. Admin drops in for an unannounced observation, inevitably choosing to visit your most chaotic class at the moment of ultimate pandemonium.
  55. Admin call an unscheduled faculty meeting. No good news is ever shared at an unscheduled faculty meeting. 
  56. The county/state decides to make big changes to the curriculum, requiring that you jettison all your beautifully designed lessons and start from scratch.
  57. The county announces that they are going to implementing the latest educational fad, regardless of whether it is actually supported by, you know, evidence of efficacy. 
  58. Admin insists that your CLT base major decisions about instruction on an in-depth analysis of data that you know to be deeply flawed and invalid. 
  59. Your school decides to stage an active shooter drill without warning you in advance
  60. Admin announces that, due to staffing shortages, they're going to need teachers to take on extra supervision duties (lunch, hallways, bus, recess)
  61. In order to retain your job, you are being required to switch grades (or preps)
  62. The county announces that, due to an excessive number of snow days, they're going to be adding additional days to the end of the year 
  63. Admin asks you what you're going to do to remediate your students at risk of failing because they refuse to attend school or complete work. 
  64. Admin requires you to submit lesson plans in advance - lesson plans that they have no intention of actually reviewing
  65. Spirit weeks! Imagine 5 days of Halloween, with less candy but a thousand times more selfies. 
  66. "Your colleague has called in sick but there are no subs, so we're going to need you to cover their classes." 
  67. Admin arrives at your door to return the disruptive student you just expelled from your classroom 10 minutes ago
  68. Your admin calls you at home on your sick day to quiz you about the details of your sub plan
  69. You receive 10mins warning that the fire marshal is about to visit your classroom, requiring that you immediately cease all other activities in order to remove all your wall posters and door decorations. 
  70. Admins asks you to follow up with parents who haven't turned in their beginning-of-the-year paperwork, because "many hands make lighter work." 
  71. Admin decides that they're going to need you to "document the behavior" before they decide whether, how, or when to intercede
  72. The front office needs to know if a particular student was in your class two weeks ago Tuesday - the one day you were too busy to take roll, much less notice which students might have been absent.
  73. Your IA gets pulled to cover another classroom, leaving you with a lesson plan that requires an IA to implement.
  74. You're "voluntold" to sign up for after school/weekend tutorials.
  75. You're required to sign up for a school committee that meets during your planning period or after school.
  76. Admin announces that all classes are going to be at overcapacity until the teacher shortage is addressed. But also, there aren't enough desks, so teachers are going to need to accommodate those extra students any way they can.  
  77. ... Or, you're abruptly destaffed due to last minute deficits in enrollment
  78. The state/county adds another 2-3 hours to your mandatory beginning-of-the-year PD to address all the issues they were sued over the previous year. 
  79. Admin announces that they will no longer be approving leave on Fridays. Or Mondays. Or before holidays. Or after holidays. 
  80. Your colleague or co-teacher goes on emergency leave, requiring that you do all their lesson planning. 
  81. Your state announces that there will be no step increases/raises/cost of living adjustments this year. Or next year. Or for the foreseeable future. 
  82. Winter break ends up being unusually short due to Christmas falling mid-week. 
  83. The forecast calls for snow so you don't lesson plan - only to wake up to a light dusting and no school closures. 
  84. Unnecessary (or unnecessarily long) staff meetings, primarily convened to allow admins to hear themselves talk.
  85. The staff meeting begins with an icebreaker, apparently unaware that few things are as dreaded as icebreakers. 
  86. The state announces a new initiative to base a significant portion of teacher evaluations on student/parent satisfaction surveys
  87. Citing insufficient time and resources, admins announce that they are shifting responsibility for an increasing number of misbehaviours away from the front office (admins) and into classrooms (teachers). Because goodness knows teachers have plenty of time and resources for calling parents, hosting detentions, and enforcing dress codes. 
  88. An unannounced fire drill interrupts a test that your students were going to need every minute of the period to complete. (Moreover, there's no way to prevent students from sharing answers as they're mingling out on the school football field, waiting for the "all clear" to return.) 
  89. You learn there's no room or desk for you, so you're going to be expected to teach from a cart
  90. The county decides to start school a week earlier
  91. In the interest of cultural sensitivity, your county adds 15 "cultural observances" to the school calendar but then forbids teachers from delivering new content or give assessments on those days, apparently unaware that effectively cancelling 15 days of instruction might pose certain inconveniences.
  92. In the interest of rigor, your admins decide to enroll all students in honors classes for the coming year
  93. In the interest of equality, your admins decide to merge your gifted, general ed, special ed and ELL students into a single population, which teachers will be required to accommodate in blended classrooms by "differentiating." As if differentiation is something teachers accomplish with a magic wand rather than complex engineering. 
  94. In the interest of facilitating content mastery, admins decide to allow students to turn in work up until the end of the quarter with no penalty, thereby removing the incentive for students to turn in work on time. Student to teacher: "I know you have to submit grades tomorrow morning, but the syllabus says you have to accept and grade the 10 assignments I turned in at 11:59 last night." 
  95. In the interest of grading equity, admins decide to eliminate grades for homework, classwork or formative assessments, thereby removing the incentive for students to participate in these activities, while simultaneously creating a system that systematically punishes students who are poor test-takers.  
  96. "Please hold your students in your room until we are able to restore power." Remember what happened in New York City during the Great Blackout - panic, riots, fires, hooliganism? That's pretty much what goes on in a middle school classroom every time the electricity goes out. 
  97. "We're putting all the red zone students in one classroom for standardized testing, and we need you to proctor." I leave it to your imagination to consider the many ways that students lacking both motivation and boundaries can invent to disrupt a testing environment. (My personal favorite was the time they all started quacking like ducks.)
  98. Admin clarifies that while teachers may ask students to put phones away, they may not actually confiscate phones. It's hard to overstate the idiocy of this policy, or the immense frustration of teachers provided no other option but to enforce it. 
  99. Guidance from the county/state requires you to redo your curriculum to omit any content that could be potentially offensive to anyone, no matter how ridiculous 
  100. The county/state requires you to teach during a pandemic. Without a mask. Because political gamesmanship trumps science, and lives.
  101. "The principals wants to see you." Because, no matter how old you are, getting called to the principals office never ceases to be terrifying. 

 


10/04/2024

Mallstalgia: 50+ Memories of '70s and '80s Shopping Malls

 


Waxing nostalgic over the fabulous shopping malls of the 1970s and 1980s has become such a phenomenon, they've invented a word for it: Mallstalgia. But it's not just the stores members of my generation miss - it's the whole mall experience. Back in the days before online shopping, malls were where you went to buy pretty much everything, from Craftman tools to novelty candles, Lacoste shirts to Chic jeans, fish to fashion. In the days before social media, they were where you hung out with your friends. In the days before video games, they were neon temples of stimulation and instant gratification. The following list attempts to capture specific moments of shopping mall magic. Did I miss anything? Add your own contributions in the comments section! 

  1. Dining at the Kmart or Woolworth's lunch counter. Those menus with full color pictures of the 5-6 meals they served (grilled cheese was always one of them), those spinny stools, those old-timey glass straw dispensers! This was the bribe that my mom used to use to keep my sister and I in line on especially boring shopping trips. 
  2. Perky Kinneys or Thom McAn salesmen measuring your feet with their mysterious metal gizmos before disappearing into the back room to prospect for boxes containing the desired styles and sizes. 
  3. Being dazzled by elaborate mall Christmas displays! Back in the day, malls invested in massive light displays, vast garlands, towering decorated trees, giant snowflakes, and jolly Santas with cottonball beards seated in thrones. They were magical! 
  4. Elaborate displays of kitschy holiday decorations at the Woolworths. Remember when Woolworths was the go-to destination for cheap plastic Halloween costumes and crepe paper Christmas fireplaces?
  5. Flipping through record albums at the Sam Goody/Tower Records/Musicland, or checking out the listening stations in search of new music. 
  6. Stopping in the Hickory Farms store for free samples of sausage-shaped mystery meats, cubes of cheese, and oyster crackers dipped in cheesy spreads.
  7. Sneaking into the Spencers gift store to gape at the naughty products and drug paraphernalia. 
  8. Stopping by the teeshirt shop to pick out an iron-on design from the hundreds of options on display. I can still smell the scent of those plastisol images being steam-transferred onto cotton teeshirts! 
  9. Wasting hours (and quarters) at the mall arcade on pinball and early video arcade games (Pacman, Galaga). To this day I still associate the sound of pinball machines with the scent of under-deodorized teen boys, soda being slurped through straws, and the clink of money-changing machines dispensing quarters. 
  10. Stopping by the Radio Shack to play with the RC cars and watch the miniature train display.
  11. Catching a movie at the mall multiplex with friends, then stopping by the Orange Julius afterwards because it was the only store in the mall that stayed open late.
  12. Flopping down in one of the big, open atrium areas to enjoy the elaborate water features, potted palms, enormous aquariums, or aviaries full of live birds. Some malls even had ice skating rinks. You have to admire that level of commitment that used to go into creating delightful shopping experiences.  
  13. Groups of girls coming out of the Glamour Shots store, their hair teased into cotton candy confections, their faces streaked with layers of sparkly neon beauty products.
  14. Circling the parking lot looking for a spot the week before Christmas, back in the days when malls were the place to do all your holiday shopping. 
  15. Mixed-gender groups of teenagers promenading around the mall, laughing, shouting, shoving each other, and engaging in other traditional teen mating behaviours.
  16. Automobile/wedding dress/art/piano shows on the weekends. Because apparently it was common practice to rent the atrium and promenade areas out to all manner of galleries, dealerships, and boutiques to show off their wares.
  17. Live performances by local bands or choirs - especially around the holidays. Malls used "invite" a different high school musical arts program to provide free entertainment every weekend between Thanksgiving and Christmas. 
  18. Live performances/appearances by celebrities - singers, Olympic athletes, local meteorologists, TV/soap opera stars. Surprisingly "primo" entertainers - singer Rick Springfield, gymnast Mary Lou Retten, Astronaut Buzz Aldrin - used to do the shopping mall circuit. 
  19. Stashing your purchases in a locker so you didn't have to keep hauling them from store to store.  Such a great idea - I'm not sure when or why shopping malls gave this up. 
  20.  Listening to live musicians tickling the ivories at the Steinway and Hammond Organ stores.
  21. Gaping at the wall of televisions all tuned to the same station at The Wiz. (Mostly because there weren't a lot of TV stations to choose from back then.)
  22. Admiring exotic department store window displays. Stores used to put so much more effort into their window displays back then - mannequins disporting themselves on beaches, dashing through rainclouds beneath umbrellas, swimming through coral reefs ....
  23. That muted muzak soundtracks, imperceptible during the busiest hours but eerily, offputtingly loud if you were shopping during a lull. 
  24. Throwing coins into the water fountain or feature - because all the malls had some sort of water feature, ranging from simple fountains to elaborate spouts and waterfalls, didn't they?  
  25. Women getting their makeup done at the makeup counters of the high-end department stores: Bloomingdales, Macys, Nordstroms, Neiman Marcus.
  26. Groups of moms happily gossiping as they pilot their baby carriages down the corridors, grateful for any opportunity to get out of the house (and maybe stock up on junk food at one of the snack shops - Karmelkorn, The Original Cookie Company). 
  27. Groups of seniors in track suits (track suits being a thing back then) and sneakers getting their exercise on. 
  28. Exotic aromas wafting from the Wicks 'n' Sticks candle store.
  29. Windows full of prom dresses in search of insecure high school girls. 
  30. Getting your ears pierced at the Claires as a half-score other teenage girls watched on to see if you were going to cry. 
  31. Glittery neon signs shedding their warm electric glow over passing groups of shoppers.
  32. Little kids chasing each other in the atrium areas, burning off steam as their exhausted parents collapsed on the fashionable but oddly uncomfortable bench seats.
  33. Elaborately themed stores: Hickory Farm stores that looked like barns, Banana Republic stores that looked like jungle-themed mini-golf courses.
  34. Sculpted concrete edifices: curving walls, soaring ramps, terraced planters, sculptural benches, trash cans so solid that you could detonate bombs in them. The 1970s had a bit of an obsession with concrete, and malls built at that time were prime opportunities for architectural experimentation. 
  35. Authors sitting awkwardly behind tables at the B. Daltons or WaldenBooks, waiting to autograph copies of their books. Inside, you could peruse new releases, select one of the 200 magazines they stocked, or check out the "sale books" sections for deals on 10 yr-old best sellers.
  36. High school students wrapping Christmas gifts in the atrium to raise funds for their schools or clubs. 
  37. Watching  puppies and kittens playing in the windows at the mall pet stores - long before the term "puppy mills" was coined.
  38. Stopping by Circus World or KayBee to check out the toys.
  39. Planters full of suspiciously perky plants - still unsure how they were kept alive given that they got zero sun and were constantly fondled by curious toddlers. Maybe they were just switched out every couple of months? 
  40. Stocking up on solids at Eddie Bauer, ESprit, or The United Colors of Bennetton. Solids were very big in the late 70s and 80s - still, in retrospect, three stores with the same aesthetic seems a little excessive. 
  41. Stopping by Blockbusters, Hollywood Video, or West Coast Videos with your family or friends to rent movies for the weekend.
  42. Stopping by the Farrells Ice Cream Parlor for a shot of faux 1920s nostalgia, bags of candy from their sprawling candy shop, and over-the-top ice cream concoctions.
  43. Visiting the Sears "outdoor furniture" store to check out the many enticing jungle gyms on display.
  44. Exploring the eclectic wares of novelty retailers: Discovery Channel Store, Disney Store, Natural Wonders, World Bazaar.  Before internet, these stores are where you went if you wanted to buy something a little unique. 
  45. Stopping into Brookstones or Sharper Image to take turns sitting in the massage chairs and admiring the scores of electronic gadgets we all secretly wished we'd thought of inventing first.  
  46. Doing lunch (or early dinner) with the family at one of those great mall cafeterias: Morrisons, Harvest House, Hot Shoppes. Formica tables, a selection of fried entrees, entire elaborate displays of jello desserts - what wasn't to love? 
  47. Clothing stores with spacious changing rooms and three-way mirrors for seeing how you looked from every possible angle. Okay, so maybe I don't miss seeing myself from every possible angle.
  48. Families in matching outfits leaving the Olan Mills store or Sears photo studio. Formal photo studio portraits were practically required during the 70s and 80s. 
  49. Scoping out the latest fashions at the trendiest boutiques: Limited, Merry-Go-Round, The Gap. 
  50. Buying engraved bracelets or necklaces at Things Remembered. In my day, this was the go-to gift for presenting to your boyfriend/girlfriend du jour - thoughtful and jewelry-adjacent, but also relatively cheap.
  51. Parents dragging their bored kids through Sears, Montgomery Wards, or Service Merchandise - those bastions of middle class consumerism. 
  52. Stuffing yourself into a photo booth for candids with your inamorata or friend group - because Gen X didn't actually invent selfies.  
  53. The rattle of gates and grills being pulled down and fastened as stores closed for the night.

10/03/2024

50+ THEME Road Trip Inspirations


Struggling to plan a vacation for you or your family?  Maybe the problem is that you're so focused on where you should go, you're neglecting to consider what you really want to do. Try thinking about it this way: if you could spend your precious free time doing anything you want, what would you be doing? Now try designing a vacation around that. Here are some ideas to kickstart your brainstorming. 

  1. HISTORY & POLITICS ROAD TRIPS
    1. National Register of Historic Places road trip. Check out the NRHP database (available online) and learn more about the US's historic treasures, including (but not limited to): 
      1. Historic landmarks
      2. Historic neighborhoods/districts
      3. Notable homesites
      4. Monuments & memorials
    2. Celebrating US History road trip. Pick an era of US history and learn more about it! Some ideas to get you started:  
      1. Founding Fathers/American Revolution road trip. 
        1. Revolutionary battlefields, forts, and fortifications
        2. Famous buildings & residences: Courthouses, homes of Founding Fathers
        3. Notable Revolutionary cities: Williamsburg, Boston, Philadelphia  
      2. Civil war road trip
        1. Civil War battlefield sites, forts, and fortifications
        2. Civil War museums
        3. Plantations
        4. Lincoln-related destinations
      3. Westward expansion road trip
        1. Restored Wild West towns, mines, and ghost towns
        2. Dude ranches, rodeos, and cowboy experiences
        3. Native American destinations and experiences
        4. Forts & fortifications 
      4. WW1/WW2 road trip
        1. Museums
        2. Monuments & cemeteries
        3. New Deal sites: CCC infrastructure projects, murals & artwork
      5. Black history road trip
        1. Museums
        2. Monuments & memorials
        3. Civil Rights/abolitionist sites
        4. Homesteads of notable black Americans
        5. HBCUs
      6. Cold War road trip
        1. Missile silos
        2. Bunkers/bomb shelters
      7. Federally-designed historical sites
        1. National historic sites: Military parks, battlefield parks, battlefield sites
        2. National monuments & memorials
        3. National historical parks/sites
    3. Military History road trip
      1. Battlefield sites & cemeteries
      2. Military museums
      3. Air shows
      4. Military academies
  2. NATURAL WONDERS ROAD TRIPS
    1. National Parks road trip. One of the greatest privileges of living in the US are our fabulous national parks, but don't overlook other federally-designated natural areas, including:
      1. National monuments
      2. National preserves
      3. National lakeshores/seashores
      4. National rivers/wild and scenic riverways
      5. National scenic trails/parkways
    2. State Parks road trip. State parks can be unappreciated treasures! 
    3. Natural Wonders road trip. The US is blessed with a plethora of natural wonders. Craft a road trip designed to explore natural wonders in general, or focus on a specific feature: waterfalls, arches, slot canyons, impact craters, volcanic features, big trees
    4. Camping Experience road trip. Spend a weekend tent camping, cabin camping, or glamping. National and state parks often offer cabin/bungalow experiences. 
    5. Beautiful Biomes road trip. Experience one of Earth's unique ecosystems!
      1. Biomes: Tundra/arctic, taiga/evergreen forests (commonly found on mountaintops), temperate deciduous forests (trees with leaves that drop), grasslands, rainforests (tropical, temperate), deserts, freshwater, marine
      2. Ecosystems: Wetlands, cypress swamps, salt marshes, beaches, temperate rainforests, caves, coral reefs, hot springs, bioluminescent bays, etc.
  3. CULTURAL ROAD TRIPS
    1. America's Cultural Diversity road trip.  Pick one of the many, many immigrant populations that contribute out our country's diversity and craft a road trip designed to learn more about them. Possible destinations include:  
      1. Ethnic neighborhoods/towns
      2. Cultural street/arts festivals
      3. Ethnic restaurants
      4. Embassies/museums
    2. Museum Experience road trip. Create a road trip that combines stops at federal, state, university, and local museums. Add whimsy by focusing on museums dedicated to unusual topics: medical sciences, agricultural products, cryptography, entertainment, etc.
    3. Institutes of Higher Learning road trip. Many US campuses are strikingly lovely, populated by ornate, historically important buildings or located in gorgeous locations. Check them out!
    4. Spiritual Journeys road trip. Explore the US's religious roots. 
      1. Historic churches/missions
      2. Spiritual sites
    5. Fabulous Fairs & Festivals road trip. In a country this big, there are multiple festivals/fairs occurring every week of the year. Some ideas: 
      1. State fairs/agricultural fairs
      2. Street fairs: Food festivals, cultural festivals
      3. Holiday/seasonal festivals
      4. Arts festivals/fairs: Music festivals, crafts festivals, theater festivals
      5. Novelty festivals: Mummer's parades, Renaissance festivals
    6. Underground City Experiences road trips. All big cities have an "underground" life -  music venues, pop-up restaurants, speakeasies, and other experiences - known only to the hippest of locals ... or anyone dedicated enough to search social media for clues. 
  4. ARTS ROAD TRIPS
    1. Art Experience road trip
      1. Art museums/galleries
      2. Artist homesteads
      3. Public art installations
    2. Architecture Exploration road trip
      1. Specific architectural styles/genres: Victorian, Spanish Colonial, Art Deco, Mid-Century Modern
      2. Civil engineering projects: Bridges, skyscrapers, dams
      3. Famous neighborhoods/architects
      4. Novelty destinations: Castles, vernaculars
    3. Entertainment (TV/Movie/Theater) road trip
      1. Live performances: TV studios, theaters
      2. Festivals: Film festivals, theater festivals
      3. Movie/TV filming locations
      4. Famous theaters: Historic theaters, nostalgic theaters
    4. Music Lovers road trip
      1. Specific musical genre road trip: Rock, pop, country, jazz, R&B, blues, classical, opera, Broadway, indie 
        1. Museums
        2. Music festivals
        3. Notable music cities/venues
        4. Recording studios
        5. Live performances
    5. Bookworm road trip
      1. Novel destinations: Author homesites, locations featured in famous novels
      2. Notable libraries & atheneums
      3. Book conferences, fairs & festivals: Book festivals, author/genre-specific events
      4. Book themed bars/hotels
      5. Notable bookstores
    6. Crafting road trip: craft conventions & events
  5. SCIENCE ROAD TRIPS
    1. Natural History road trips
      1. Natural History museums
      2. All About Animals road trips
        1. Zoos/wild animal parks
        2. Wild animal safaris/boat tours
        3. Aquariums
        4. Farms
        5. Live animal encounters: Swim with dolphins/manatees, feed giraffes
        6. Animal research facilities and sanctuaries
      3. Botanical road trips
        1. Botanical gardens
        2. Flower shows
    2. Space Exploration road trip
      1. Launch facilities
      2. NASA facilities
      3. Planetariums & observatories
      4. Dark Sky parks 
    3. Understanding our Earth Geology/Paleontology road trip
      1. Rockhounding/panning for gold
      2. Digging for fossils
      3. Notable geologic features: Fault lines, cave systems, volcanic features, impact craters
  6. EXPERIENCE ROAD TRIPS 
    1. Explore Your Passions road trip. Think about your hobbies - what you do for fun, or would like to do if you had the time! Now, identify opportunities to explore those hobbies on the road. Potential opportunities are as various as personal hobbies, but might include museums, historic venues, conferences/conventions, classes, or experiences. Following are some examples: 
      1. Model trains: Model train museums/displays
      2. Creative writing/blogging: Writing festivals/workshops, writers retreats
      3. Video games: Gaming conventions, gaming competitions, gaming museums/arcades
      4. Cooking: Cooking schools/classes, farmers markets
      5. Experience/fantasy camps: Rock n' roll camps, cowboy camps
      6. Crafting: Craft shows/conferences, workshops, art colonies
      7. Genealogy: Genealogy libraries, halls of records, cemeteries
    2. Sports Fan road trips
      1. Major/minor league teams & facilities: Stadiums/arenas, racetracks
      2. University teams & facilities
      3. Historic/notable facilities
      4. Notable competitions/tournaments
      5. Sports museums/Halls of fame
    3. Watersports road trips
      1. Boating/sailing
      2. White water rafting/tubing
      3. Ocean/river/lake cruises
      4. Swimming/snorkling
    4. Sports & Recreation road trips
      1. Hiking/climbing/running/biking: Notable events, notable tracks/trails
      2. Hunting/fishing
    5. Exotic Travels road trip
      1. Train journeys: Scenic railroads, cog railroads
      2. Steamboat/ferry journeys
      3. Novelty automobile/motorcycle journeys
      4. Hot air balloon journeys
    6. Make Them Laugh road trip
      1. Comedy clubs
      2. Comic theater performances 
    7. Bucket list road trip. Because it's never too soon to start crossing items off your bucket list!
    8. National Parties & Parades road trip
      1. Famous/notable holiday celebrations
      2. Famous parades
      3. Mardi Gras
    9. Lifelong Learning road trips
      1. Tours led by organizations/universities
      2. Discovery camps/experiences
      3. University sessions/courses
      4. Active archeology sites
    10. Acts of Service road trips
      1. Build houses
      2. Participate in ecological restoration projects
      3. Volunteer in areas recovering from natural disasters
    11. Novelty B&B road trip. Because a vacation doesn't have to be about what you do, but where you stay. Memorable overnight options include: treehouses, lighthouses, houseboats, train cars, RVs, historic lodges, watchtowers, museums, battleships and more
    12. Mystery trip. Open a map, close your eyes, tap a spot on the map, and go explore!
  7. SHOPPING ROAD TRIPS
    1. Antiquing road trips
      1. Antique malls
      2. Antique districts
      3. Auction houses
    2. Factory Tour road trips
    3. Bargain shopping road trips
      1. Flea markets & yard sales
      2. Outlet malls & potteries
      3. Auction houses
      4. Abandoned luggage sales
  8. SEASONAL ROAD TRIPS
    1. Spring road trips
      1. Spring sports & recreation: Golf, baseball
    2. Summer road trips
      1. Summer sports & recreation: Water sports, soccer
      2. Fruit picking
      3. Outdoor concerts/events
    3. Autumn road trips
      1. Autumn sports & recreation: Football
      2. Leaf peeping road trip
      3. Pumpkin patches, corn mazes & hay rides
      4. Apple picking
    4. Winter road trips
      1. Winter sports & recreation: Hockey, basketball, skiing
      2. Christmas-themed destinations
  9. HEALTH/WELLNESS ROAD TRIPS
    1. Resort road trips
      1. Family resorts
      2. Adult resorts: Casinos 
    2. Wellness road trips
      1. Spas
      2. Retreats
  10. FOOD ROAD TRIPS
    1. Diners, Dives & Drive-In road trips
      1. Food street festivals
      2. Diners, dives, and drive-ins
    1. Destination Restaurant road trips
      1. Historic restaurants
      2. Famous chefs
      3. Regional flavors
    2. Favorite Flavors road trips 
      1. Farms/farmers markets
      2. Favorite cuisines. What's your favorite flavor - BBQ? chili? chicken fried steak? pizza? Turn your passion into a road trip to discover new variations
    3. Boozy road trips
      1. Winery/brewery/distillery tours
      2. Wine/beer/booze street festivals
      3. Wine/beer/bourbon trails
  11. NOSTALGIA/KITSCH ROAD TRIPS
    1. Childhood Memories road trips. Give yourself permission to relive your happy childhood vacation memories!
      1. Revisit favorite childhood destinations
      2. Relive favorite childhood memories
      3. Give yourself permission to play
    2. Dark Side road trips. Indulge your inner goth with these macabre vacation inspirations: 
      1. Haunted houses/hotels or ghost tours
      2. Macabre museums/historical sites: Cemeteries, medical museums
      3. Murder mystery events
    3. Kitschy road trip. Get your kicks on Route 66 ... or seek out the spirit of Route 66 that permeates every corner of this marvelous, kitschy country of ours!
      1. Novelty museums: Museums dedicated to specific products/events; cryptozoological museums
      2. Roadside attractions
      3. Novelty festivals/fairs

4/14/2024

75+ Actually Useful Tips for Long-Haul Road Trips


One day, assuming we retire before we become decrepit, hubby and I are planning a bunch of long road trips across the U.S.  
We’re looking forward to experiencing all the usual things: national and state parks, historical sites, cultural sites, ballparks, roadside attractions.

I’m guessing our mode of travel is probably fairly ordinary: we’ll be staying at hotels vs. going in on an RV or roughing it at campgrounds or hostels.

And I’m guessing our priorities are similar to the priorities of most road trippers: convenience, safety, saving money, sustainability (reducing waste).

When I started researching road trip hack websites, however, I kept stumbling upon the same  40-50 tips, some of them useful, some of them silly (cupcake papers to line your car cupholders? seriously?), some of the little more than product endorsements. Frustrating! So I decided to start aggregating my own list, keeping track of the tips that seem genuinely useful and adding additional ideas culled from related websites.

Am sharing that list here, in hopes that my research proves useful for others. Not every tip will be applicable to every journey, but there ought to be something relevant here for most long-haul car travelers – and if you have tips I haven’t thought of, please feel free to share them below!

Convenience & sustainability

  1. Pack at least one mildew-resistant towel to use in the car for cleanups, drying things off after rainstorms, swimming/wading, etc.
  2. While you’re at it, pack a larger multipurpose blanket as well. Useful for extra warmth in your car or hotel, and it can double as a picnic blanket for concerts or events.
  3. Bring reusable, collapsible bags of various sizes, to use for on-the-fly storage and shopping.
  4. Change your phone’s lock screen to display your emergency contact info, so folks can contact you if you lose your phone
  5. Bring change for random “off-grid” tollbooths and those old-school parking meters you’ll still find in older towns
  6. Between GPS, internet searches, and photos, cellphones get heavier than usual usage on road trips. Pack multiple battery packs for recharging your phone on the fly.
  7. For longer trips that will require doing laundry, it will be more convenient – and less expensive – to bring your own supplies: pods, dryer sheets, quarters, hangers (for drying), stain pens. Save room by bringing only the quantity you’ll need.
    1. To avoid schlepping dirty laundry in and out of hotel rooms, pack a laundry bag to store dirty clothes in the car until laundry day
Ways to save money on hotels
  1. Skip hotel booking sites and make your reservations directly. Hotels would rather not pay travel site commissions if they can help it, so they will usually match or beat travel site prices if you ask – and they may even throw in free upgrade like a nicer room or complimentary breakfast.
  2. Take advantage of discounts offered to veterans, AAA members, seniors (often through AARP), government employees, and/or students, which are often applied on top of other discounts.
  3. Take advantage of hotel and travel website “frequent guest” programs to earn free nights. Better yet, use both in tandem. FYI, the points aren’t just good for free nights; often, they can be used to score steep discounts on rooms in expensive destinations, which may end up being even more useful. If you’re loyal to a particular chain, you might check to see if they offer discounted gift cards.
  4. Use those hotel coupons books found at state-run interstate rest stops to locate good hotel room deals. Often these coupon books will list motels that don't show up on online booking sites, an extra bonus. (Give me a great mom-and-pop motel over a chain hotel any day!) 
  5. Don't be taken by surprise by hotel add-ons like parking fees, wifi fees, or resort fees. Ironically, the more expensive the hotel, the more likely they are to charge for extras. If in doubt, call the hotel and ask them to disclose any add-ons. 
  6. If you can live with a little risk, wait to book your room until the day you need it – preferably after 4pm – to take advantage of the desperation of hotels to fill any remaining empty rooms. You can do this yourself or through the website HotelTonight. Just one caveat: in high-demand destinations, where there’s more demand than supply, hotels may raise same-day prices to exploit the anxiety of last-minute guests. 
  7. Be mindful that hotel pricing is event-driven. If local hotel prices are likely to be inflated, it may be more cost-effective to stay further away than you’d usually consider and drive in.
  8. If you’re okay with trading no-frills for price, consider booking a hostel instead of a hotel. The Hostelworld website can help you find a place. Another option: cabins in state and national parks can be an affordable alternative to hotels, though they may lack certain amenities
  9. Don’t be afraid to constantly reassess your priorities. Location, free breakfast, laundry room, swimming pool – sometimes these will be worth paying for; other times, it may make more financial sense to temporarily compromise on one or more of your “inflexibles”
Ways to save money on food
  1. Tips for saving money on destination restaurants
    1. Lunch menus are usually cheaper than dinner menus
    2. Some restaurants offer discounts on food at happy hour
    3. Search Groupon for discounts
    4. Check to see if the restaurant offers discounts for military, seniors, first responders, or other special groups
    5. Unless beverages are part of the experience (iconic cocktails at a historic bar, for instance), stick to water and save your money for the food you’re there to enjoy
    6. If you’re just there for the ambiance, consider limiting yourself to an appetizer or dessert
  2. Avoid the constant expense of fast food by taking advantage of free hotel breakfasts. (You may also want to snag a yogurt, oatmeal packages, or piece of fruit for the road as you leave.)
  3. Consider preparing some of your meals in your hotel room. Almost all hotel rooms these days feature fridges and microwaves, suitable for preparing simple meals. (If there’s no microwave in your room, there’s often a communal microwave available in the lobby.)  If you’re feeling especially ambitious, you can even pack a George Foreman grill or mini-crockpot for expanding your hotel meal options. If you're going to eat in the room, here are some things you may want to pack: 
    1. A set of basic dinnerware for each person: plate, bowl, knife, fork, spoon. 
    2. Basic condiments: salt, pepper, catsup.
    3. Tupperware containers to use as microwave containers, bowls for eating, and/or storage
    4. A basic food prep kit: can opener, paring knife, cutting board, spatula, serving spoon
    5. Dishwashing liquid and a sponge
  4. Keep a cooler and hamper stocked with food for eating in the car. Coolers also come in handy for storing leftovers from restaurants or hotel cooking. (FYI, they now have coolers that plug into your car's electrical system.)
  5. Buy your road trip food and meals at grocery stores, avoiding inflated convenience store prices
  6. Bring your own reusable water bottles & coffee containers, to cut down on trash and costs. Handy for taking your hotel coffee on the road, and you can refill your water bottle throughout the day as opportunities arise. (TIP: additives like powdered mixes or Mio are easy to transport and mask odd aftertastes).
Ways to save money on travel
  1. Select “no tolls” on your GPS guidance to avoid toll roads. (Besides, who knows what wonders might you stumble upon once you leave interstates behind?)
  2. Look for deals on gasoline
    1. Consider gas station credit cards & programs that offer rewards
    2. Use apps like gasbuddy.com to find the cheapest gas prices
    3. If you belong to one of those national warehouse chains (Costco, Sam’s Club), consider buying your gas there
  3. When visiting cities or major attraction, parking can be inconvenient and expensive. Consider whether it makes sense to leave your car at the hotel and use local public transportation
Ways to save money on attractions
  1. Research your destinations in advance. Some offer lower admission prices for days when they are open shorter hours (typically Mondays). 
  2. Look for Groupons, city passes, or reciprocal passes that may save you money on the attractions you're interested in. (For instance, many major botanical gardens participate in reciprocal programs.) 
  3. If you're planning to visit national and state parks, it may make sense to buy yearly passes, which they pay for themselves after just 2-3 admissions. (By the way, you may qualify for free park passes if you are military, a gold star family, or a senior citizen.) 
  4. Find free events & attractions
    1. Look for free guided tours offered by tourist bureaus, docents, or volunteers
    2. Google “free things to do in ____________” (or “Cheap things to do in ____”) to find attractions you may not have considered
    3. Get acquainted with the local subreddits for the cities you'll be passing through. Members can often direct you towards the best cheap eats and “off the beaten track” destinations
  5. Keep track of all your expenses as you go, to help identify areas where you might be spending more than you think.
Fitness & Health
  1. Pack a comfort kit with basic toiletries you might need while in the car: hairbrush, lotion, fingernail clippers, sunscreen, hand sanitizer, tissues, lip balm, toothbrush/paste/mouthwash, wet wipes. Then make sure to locate your pack someplace accessible.
  2. Pack a pharmacy bag with meds you might need on the road for basic comfort (pain relievers, antacids, etc.). Include basic first aid items, but don’t go overboard, because – realistically - even in the remotest parts of the U.S. you’re probably only a short drive or a phone call away from medical assistance. Focus on items for treating immediate needs: Bandaids, aspirin (for heart issues), tweezers, earplugs, eyewash, blister relief, etc.
  3. Bring workout clothes for hotel gyms
  4. Consider joining a gym with locations nationwide, so that you can stop in at various cities to avail yourself of the facilities
  5. If all else fails, bring your own exercise equipment: an aerobics video, resistance cords, a jump rope.
Safety
  1. Bring a basic car repair kit – especially if you’ll be travelling through remote areas (ex: tire inflation kit, battery cords/recharger)
  2. Bring car and travel insurance information (ex: AAA membership; also, some cars come with travel assistance)
  3. Pack a flashlight or headlamp for after-dark emergencies
  4. Pack paper maps or a road atlas for navigating in areas that don't have wifi access. (Happens more often than you may think.) 
  5. Always gas up your car when it hits 1/2 empty – especially if you’re in a remote area. You don't want to risk running out of gas, or having to patronize a gas station in a sketchy area.  Also remember to gas up during daylight hours if you are going to have to travel at night.
  6. Use window screens, shades, and/or blankets to conceal your car's contents from thieves.
  7. Keep an extra key to your car in your wallet, to prevent being locked out. (If your car has a manual keypad, program it.) 
  8. If you're worried about staying safe in your hotel, consider investing in a door alarm that will sound if someone tries to open your door. 
  9. Consider travelling with a can of pepper spray that you can quickly access if you feel unsafe.
Packing tips
  1. Use packing cubes to organize and store your clothes, coats, and shoes. Not only do they keep your things sorted, folded, and clean, but packing cubes make packing/repacking a breeze: just throw them into the suitcase, zip, and leave. 
  2. Maintain an “overnight bag” that contains the things you need for the night (ex: PJs, toilettries, meds). Then throw in the clothes you'll need for the morning. So much easier than shlepping your suitcase into/out of hotels every evening & morning! 
  3. “There’s a duffle for that.” Create a separate duffle for each special needs/event/activity (ex: cooking, swimming, hiking, exercising, inclement weather), so you can quickly grab what you need without having to unpack/repack.
    1. Consider jettisoning suitcases entirely and storing your stuff (sorted into duffles or packing cubes) in open laundry baskets in the back of your car. Place the stuff you won't need every day in the more remote baskets. 
  4. Bring an accordion file for organizing and storing brochures, maps and other paperwork  you may collect on the way
  5. Remember that temps can be 20-30 degrees colder at elevation or underground - so pack some layers if you are going to be driving through mountains or taking cave tours
Car comfort
  1. Clean out your glove box before you leave so that you can use the space to store important papers & receipts
  2. If your seat belt strap has a tendency to abrade your neck over time, invest in padding or repositioning devices that will help alleviate the discomfort. 
  3. Consider purchasing a lumbar support device to prevent backaches
  4. Your car seats are going to get a lot of wear! Consider whether you want to cover them in some sort of protective padding. 
  5. Pack clothing layers for temperature changes (& a headscarf for blowing hair if necessary)
  6. Pack a travel pillow for napping
  7. Make a plan for how passengers will store and recharge their phones while in the car. (Tip: There are some simple elastic-based systems for turning sun visors into accessible and convenient storage.  Another option may be suction cup organizers that can be affixed to windows. Avoid blocking HVAC vents.)
  8. Prepare audiobooks, podcasts, and playlists to keep you entertained on the road, and be sure to download content for portions of the trip without wireless service
  9. Create road trip mental games & challenges (Ex: pick a category & ID examples starting with A-Z)
  10. Bring a basic car cleaning kit for maintenance & spills
  11. Optimize your back-of-seat storage space with hanging shoe holders or carbiners (for hanging things, like purses or bags full of supplies)
  12. Keep a trash can (lined to store fluids) for storing trash between stops
  13. Shower caddies can be useful for staging food/accessories in the car so that they are easily accessed. For instance, the caddy shown here is ideal for staging sandwich/chips/drink combos.
  14. Grocery store & hotel bathrooms are usually cleaner/safer than gas stations, and less awkward to access than restaurant bathrooms. 
  15. If you have to sleep in your car, pick the parking lot of a 24hr restaurant so you have access to a toilet
    1. Lock your seat belt through the handle of the door for extra security

Hotel comfort
  1. Pack a duffle of things that may come in handy: disposable kitchen trash bags, Ziploc bags (for storing wet/messy things), carbiners (for hanging things), extension cord/power strip, multi-recharger, portable fan (for hotel rooms with inadequate A/C), noise machine, febreeze (for stinky rooms), nightlight, curtain clips (to prevent curtain gap)
  2. A bit of a germophobe? Hotel room linens aren't necessarily changed every day. If this bothers you, you might consider bringing a lightweight sleeping bag insert and your own pillowcase to layer over whatever the hotel provides
  3. Options for optimizing hotel entertainment:
    1. Bring cables to hook your streaming device up to the TV
    2. Bring wireless speakers to stream entertainment or amp your streaming volume
    3. Bring a selection of games, card games & puzzles. (FYI, if you just love jigsaw puzzles but can't count on hotel tables that are large enough, one of those 3-panel "science fair" cardboard displays can be laid over tables to enlarge the surface area.)
Day trips
  1. Bring a variety of light, collapsible storage options - backpack, crossbody water bottle carrier, fanny pack, passport wallet - to accommodate a variety of day trips. 
  2. Consider bringing collapsible chairs for attending spontaneous concerts or theater-in-the-park
  3. Hit bigger cities on weekends, when there are more likely to be special events and tourist venues will have extended hours
  4. For each attraction you are visiting, research not just Groupons and free days, but also hours and whether reservations are required. Nothing's more frustrating than arriving at an attraction, only to find out that you've arrived on the one day of the week that they're closed or that you need a timed ticket for admission
  5. Bring a memory card (or two) to offload photos from your phone so you don’t run out of memory
Apps to improve your experience
  1. Roadtrippers – A popular app for planning your route and destinations in advance
  2. Google Maps – Can be used to plan your route and destinations in advance; can also be used to ID local restaurants/gas/attractions
  3.  iExit – Tells you what amenities are located at each interstate exit
  4. Gasbuddy – Helps locate gas stations & compare prices
  5. Flush – Locates the nearest bathroom
  6. Hotel Tonight- Specializes in last-minute (same day) hotel deals
  7. Hostelworld – App for locating hostels
  8. Momandpopmotels.com - Specializes in identifying hotels/motels that aren't listed by the usual hotel booking websites
  9. Rentalcars.com – App for finding rental car deals at the last minute
  10. Plugshare – App for locating EV charging stations
  11. SpotHero – Allows you to reserve parking spaces in advance (useful for locations/events with constrained parking)
  12. PowWow – Drops a pin on a Google Map to help you remember where you parked your car
  13. Libby – App that allows you to download audiobooks
  14. Spotify – App that allows you to download podcasts and/or playlists
  15. Groupon – App that offers coupons and discounts for restaurants, attractions, and experiences
  16. NARMAssociation - An association of museums that that offers discounted admissions 
  17. Roadside America/Roadside Attractions – Helps locate quirky roadside attractions
  18. BringFido – Helps locate dog-friendly places to stay/eat/visit
  19. Alltrails – App for locating hiking trails
  20. iNaturalist – App for identifying plants
  21. Merlin Bird ID – App for identifying birds
  22. Sky guide – App for identifying stars




45+ Times When Life Becomes a Meme

You know how most of the time life is pretty mundane, but every once in a while the fates align and suddenly you find yourself in the middle of a meme?  Here are some examples my friends and I recently brainstormed (which, I realize, explains why so many of these are girly): 
  1. Climbing to the top of a hill and suddenly you’re Maria Von Trapp, preparing to burst out into song
  2. Wrapping yourself in a shawl or blanket and suddenly you’re Catherine in Wuthering Heights, wandering the moors in search of Heathcliff
  3. Resting a laundry basket on your hip and suddenly you’re a peasant woman fetching food back from the market for your family
  4. Hitching your long skirt up as you come down the stairs and suddenly you’re a character in a Jane Austen novel making your grand entrance at the ball
  5. Walking out into a snowstorm, bundled in layers of coats, and suddenly you’re an indigenous Alaskan off to hunt seals and slay polar bears
  6. Wearing red heels and suddenly you’re Dorothy following a yellow brick road through Oz
  7. Pulling your hoodie over your head and suddenly you’re a stealthy assassin ready to stalk your unsuspecting human prey
  8. Collecting flowers in your garden and suddenly you’re a character from a British pastoral novel, preparing for a visit from the vicar
  9. Setting off on a walk, walking stick in hand, and suddenly you’re Frodo off to Rivendell with the one ring safely stowed in your pocket
  10. Dipping your bread into your soup and suddenly you’re a peasant grabbing sustenance between long hours of grueling labor
  11. Building a fire using twigs and kindling and suddenly you’re a cowboy out on the prairie, ready to warm up some beans and then fall asleep beneath the stars
  12. Tying a scarf over your hair and suddenly you’re a 1950s Hollywood starlet off on a trip down the Pacific Coast in your sporty convertible
  13. Jogging up a hill or set of stairs and suddenly you’re Rocky Balboa training for the big fight
  14. Picking up something fragile and suddenly you’re Indiana Jones finessing a golden idol from a pedestal without triggering the booby traps
  15. A freak breeze stirs your skirt and suddenly you’re Marilyn Monroe walking across a subway vent in the Seven Year Itch
  16. Playing with glowsticks and suddenly you’re an airport technician, guiding incoming aircraft across dark runways to safe refuge
  17. Piloting an RC car or drone and suddenly you’re a member of the NASA team responsible for deploying the latest rover over the perilous surface of Mars
  18. Trying to figure out which child committed a specific act of destruction and suddenly you’re a forensic scientist, collecting evidence preparatory to announcing the prime suspect
  19. Participating in your favorite sport and suddenly you’re a pro athlete, surrounded by adoring crowds cheering you on
  20. Preparing to chop raw meat, cleaver in hand, and suddenly you’re Michael Myers in a Halloween movie, ready to horrifically murder your next victim
  21. Snorkling in a shallow area and suddenly you’re Jacques Cousteau, delving into the mysteries of the Mariana Trench
  22. Singing along with the car radio and suddenly you’re a professional performer, stunning adoring crowds of fans with your virtuosity and talent
  23. Throwing leftovers together in hopes of creating something edible and suddenly you’re a chef creating astonishing new recipes
  24. Walking out the ocean surf, water dripping off your suit, and suddenly you’re channeling your inner Bond Girl or Daniel Craig.
  25. Casually admiring flocks of birds on a plaza and suddenly you’re Tippi Hedren in a Hitchcock thriller, scanning the area for cover in case they suddenly decide to attack
  26. Standing in the rain and suddenly you’re Andy Dufresne in Shawshank Redemption, emerging from the sewer to freedom
  27. Rearranging the furniture in your room and suddenly you’re on one of those HGTV reality shows, staging your home for the cameras
  28. Throwing together an outfit from leftovers in your closet and suddenly you’re a TikTok influencer, about to debut a new look that’s sure to become a cultural sensation
  29. Bouncing around in a bouncy house and suddenly you’re an astronaut propelling yourself across the surface of the moon
  30. Successfully navigating a bit of twisty road and suddenly you’re a stunt driver filming a television commercial for a sports car manufacturer
  31. Commenting on the quality of the food at a restaurant and suddenly you’re a restaurant critic preparing what you’ll say in the review you’ll be including in tomorrow’s column
  32. Taking photos as you hike through a national park and suddenly you’re Ansel Adams, capturing the wonders of nature so that you can share them with the rest of the world
  33. Playing catch with your child and suddenly you’re Ray Kinsella having a catch with Shoeless Joe Jackson
  34. Jumping your bike over an obstacle in the path and suddenly you’re Evil Knievel jumping a vast and perilous gorge over a roiling river
  35. Eating spaghetti, surreptitiously slurping up a bit of dangling pasta, and suddenly you’re in a Disney movie sharing a plate of pasta with Lady or the Tramp
  36. Walking outside on a windy autumn evening, listening to the leaves rustle over the pavement, and suddenly you’re listening for the sound of hoofbeats in case the Headless Horseman is preparing to pursue you
  37. Removing your shoes as you walk into the house and suddenly you’re in Japan, being invited to enter a temple or tea house
  38. On your hands and knees scrubbing schmutz off the floor and suddenly you’re Cinderella being persecuted by evil stepsisters
  39. Eating at a diner at night and suddenly you’re in a noir film, waiting for gangsters with tommy guns – or possibly a femme fatale carrying a mysterious package - to burst through the front door
  40. Picking up any sort of stick, pole, or tube and suddenly you’re a famous swordsman (or Jedi) about to engage in an epic battle
  41. Taking a shower, just minding your business, when you hear the sound of someone entering the room and suddenly you’re convinced someone’s going to stab you a la that scene in Psycho
  42. Rising to your feet after a long session of weeding, your back aching, and suddenly you’re a peasant laboring in the fields for the overseer
  43. Sipping a cup of tea and suddenly you’re a character in a British novel of manners
  44. Walking along the beach, the wind catching your clothes, and suddenly you’re the ingenue in a romance novel, waiting for your sailor to return from the sea
  45. Boarding a train and suddenly you’re a character in a thriller, surrounded by fellow passengers who are almost certainly spies, celebrities in disguise, or international jewel thieves
  46. Plopping yourself down at the counter of a restaurant and suddenly you’re a 1950s teen decked out in saddle shoes and a poodle skirt, preparing to order a burger and a malted.