10/04/2024

Mallstalgia: 50+ Memories of '70s and '80s Shopping Malls

 


Waxing nostalgic over the fabulous shopping malls of the 1970s and 1980s has become such a phenomenon, they've invented a word for it: Mallstalgia. But it's not just the stores members of my generation miss - it's the whole mall experience. Back in the days before online shopping, malls were where you went to buy pretty much everything, from Craftman tools to novelty candles, Lacoste shirts to Chic jeans, fish to fashion. In the days before social media, they were where you hung out with your friends. In the days before video games, they were neon temples of stimulation and instant gratification. The following list attempts to capture specific moments of shopping mall magic. Did I miss anything? Add your own contributions in the comments section! 

  1. Dining at the Kmart or Woolworth's lunch counter. Those menus with full color pictures of the 5-6 meals they served (grilled cheese was always one of them), those spinny stools, those old-timey glass straw dispensers! This was the bribe that my mom used to use to keep my sister and I in line on especially boring shopping trips. 
  2. Perky Kinneys or Thom McAn salesmen measuring your feet with their mysterious metal gizmos before disappearing into the back room to prospect for boxes containing the desired styles and sizes. 
  3. Being dazzled by elaborate mall Christmas displays! Back in the day, malls invested in massive light displays, vast garlands, towering decorated trees, giant snowflakes, and jolly Santas with cottonball beards seated in thrones. They were magical! 
  4. Elaborate displays of kitschy holiday decorations at the Woolworths. Remember when Woolworths was the go-to destination for cheap plastic Halloween costumes and crepe paper Christmas fireplaces?
  5. Flipping through record albums at the Sam Goody/Tower Records/Musicland, or checking out the listening stations in search of new music. 
  6. Stopping in the Hickory Farms store for free samples of sausage-shaped mystery meats, cubes of cheese, and oyster crackers dipped in cheesy spreads.
  7. Sneaking into the Spencers gift store to gape at the naughty products and drug paraphernalia. 
  8. Stopping by the teeshirt shop to pick out an iron-on design from the hundreds of options on display. I can still smell the scent of those plastisol images being steam-transferred onto cotton teeshirts! 
  9. Wasting hours (and quarters) at the mall arcade on pinball and early video arcade games (Pacman, Galaga). To this day I still associate the sound of pinball machines with the scent of under-deodorized teen boys, soda being slurped through straws, and the clink of money-changing machines dispensing quarters. 
  10. Stopping by the Radio Shack to play with the RC cars and watch the miniature train display.
  11. Catching a movie at the mall multiplex with friends, then stopping by the Orange Julius afterwards because it was the only store in the mall that stayed open late.
  12. Flopping down in one of the big, open atrium areas to enjoy the elaborate water features, potted palms, enormous aquariums, or aviaries full of live birds. Some malls even had ice skating rinks. You have to admire that level of commitment that used to go into creating delightful shopping experiences.  
  13. Groups of girls coming out of the Glamour Shots store, their hair teased into cotton candy confections, their faces streaked with layers of sparkly neon beauty products.
  14. Circling the parking lot looking for a spot the week before Christmas, back in the days when malls were the place to do all your holiday shopping. 
  15. Mixed-gender groups of teenagers promenading around the mall, laughing, shouting, shoving each other, and engaging in other traditional teen mating behaviours.
  16. Automobile/wedding dress/art/piano shows on the weekends. Because apparently it was common practice to rent the atrium and promenade areas out to all manner of galleries, dealerships, and boutiques to show off their wares.
  17. Live performances by local bands or choirs - especially around the holidays. Malls used "invite" a different high school musical arts program to provide free entertainment every weekend between Thanksgiving and Christmas. 
  18. Live performances/appearances by celebrities - singers, Olympic athletes, local meteorologists, TV/soap opera stars. Surprisingly "primo" entertainers - singer Rick Springfield, gymnast Mary Lou Retten, Astronaut Buzz Aldrin - used to do the shopping mall circuit. 
  19. Stashing your purchases in a locker so you didn't have to keep hauling them from store to store.  Such a great idea - I'm not sure when or why shopping malls gave this up. 
  20.  Listening to live musicians tickling the ivories at the Steinway and Hammond Organ stores.
  21. Gaping at the wall of televisions all tuned to the same station at The Wiz. (Mostly because there weren't a lot of TV stations to choose from back then.)
  22. Admiring exotic department store window displays. Stores used to put so much more effort into their window displays back then - mannequins disporting themselves on beaches, dashing through rainclouds beneath umbrellas, swimming through coral reefs ....
  23. That muted muzak soundtracks, imperceptible during the busiest hours but eerily, offputtingly loud if you were shopping during a lull. 
  24. Throwing coins into the water fountain or feature - because all the malls had some sort of water feature, ranging from simple fountains to elaborate spouts and waterfalls, didn't they?  
  25. Women getting their makeup done at the makeup counters of the high-end department stores: Bloomingdales, Macys, Nordstroms, Neiman Marcus.
  26. Groups of moms happily gossiping as they pilot their baby carriages down the corridors, grateful for any opportunity to get out of the house (and maybe stock up on junk food at one of the snack shops - Karmelkorn, The Original Cookie Company). 
  27. Groups of seniors in track suits (track suits being a thing back then) and sneakers getting their exercise on. 
  28. Exotic aromas wafting from the Wicks 'n' Sticks candle store.
  29. Windows full of prom dresses in search of insecure high school girls. 
  30. Getting your ears pierced at the Claires as a half-score other teenage girls watched on to see if you were going to cry. 
  31. Glittery neon signs shedding their warm electric glow over passing groups of shoppers.
  32. Little kids chasing each other in the atrium areas, burning off steam as their exhausted parents collapsed on the fashionable but oddly uncomfortable bench seats.
  33. Elaborately themed stores: Hickory Farm stores that looked like barns, Banana Republic stores that looked like jungle-themed mini-golf courses.
  34. Sculpted concrete edifices: curving walls, soaring ramps, terraced planters, sculptural benches, trash cans so solid that you could detonate bombs in them. The 1970s had a bit of an obsession with concrete, and malls built at that time were prime opportunities for architectural experimentation. 
  35. Authors sitting awkwardly behind tables at the B. Daltons or WaldenBooks, waiting to autograph copies of their books. Inside, you could peruse new releases, select one of the 200 magazines they stocked, or check out the "sale books" sections for deals on 10 yr-old best sellers.
  36. High school students wrapping Christmas gifts in the atrium to raise funds for their schools or clubs. 
  37. Watching  puppies and kittens playing in the windows at the mall pet stores - long before the term "puppy mills" was coined.
  38. Stopping by Circus World or KayBee to check out the toys.
  39. Planters full of suspiciously perky plants - still unsure how they were kept alive given that they got zero sun and were constantly fondled by curious toddlers. Maybe they were just switched out every couple of months? 
  40. Stocking up on solids at Eddie Bauer, ESprit, or The United Colors of Bennetton. Solids were very big in the late 70s and 80s - still, in retrospect, three stores with the same aesthetic seems a little excessive. 
  41. Stopping by Blockbusters, Hollywood Video, or West Coast Videos with your family or friends to rent movies for the weekend.
  42. Stopping by the Farrells Ice Cream Parlor for a shot of faux 1920s nostalgia, bags of candy from their sprawling candy shop, and over-the-top ice cream concoctions.
  43. Visiting the Sears "outdoor furniture" store to check out the many enticing jungle gyms on display.
  44. Exploring the eclectic wares of novelty retailers: Discovery Channel Store, Disney Store, Natural Wonders, World Bazaar.  Before internet, these stores are where you went if you wanted to buy something a little unique. 
  45. Stopping into Brookstones or Sharper Image to take turns sitting in the massage chairs and admiring the scores of electronic gadgets we all secretly wished we'd thought of inventing first.  
  46. Doing lunch (or early dinner) with the family at one of those great mall cafeterias: Morrisons, Harvest House, Hot Shoppes. Formica tables, a selection of fried entrees, entire elaborate displays of jello desserts - what wasn't to love? 
  47. Clothing stores with spacious changing rooms and three-way mirrors for seeing how you looked from every possible angle. Okay, so maybe I don't miss seeing myself from every possible angle.
  48. Families in matching outfits leaving the Olan Mills store or Sears photo studio. Formal photo studio portraits were practically required during the 70s and 80s. 
  49. Scoping out the latest fashions at the trendiest boutiques: Limited, Merry-Go-Round, The Gap. 
  50. Buying engraved bracelets or necklaces at Things Remembered. In my day, this was the go-to gift for presenting to your boyfriend/girlfriend du jour - thoughtful and jewelry-adjacent, but also relatively cheap.
  51. Parents dragging their bored kids through Sears, Montgomery Wards, or Service Merchandise - those bastions of middle class consumerism. 
  52. Stuffing yourself into a photo booth for candids with your inamorata or friend group - because Gen X didn't actually invent selfies.  
  53. The rattle of gates and grills being pulled down and fastened as stores closed for the night.

10/03/2024

50+ THEME Road Trip Inspirations


Struggling to plan a vacation for you or your family?  Maybe the problem is that you're so focused on where you should go, you're neglecting to consider what you really want to do. Try thinking about it this way: if you could spend your precious free time doing anything you want, what would you be doing? Now try designing a vacation around that. Here are some ideas to kickstart your brainstorming. 

  1. HISTORY & POLITICS ROAD TRIPS
    1. National Register of Historic Places road trip. Check out the NRHP database (available online) and learn more about the US's historic treasures, including (but not limited to): 
      1. Historic landmarks
      2. Historic neighborhoods/districts
      3. Notable homesites
      4. Monuments & memorials
    2. Celebrating US History road trip. Pick an era of US history and learn more about it! Some ideas to get you started:  
      1. Founding Fathers/American Revolution road trip. 
        1. Revolutionary battlefields, forts, and fortifications
        2. Famous buildings & residences: Courthouses, homes of Founding Fathers
        3. Notable Revolutionary cities: Williamsburg, Boston, Philadelphia  
      2. Civil war road trip
        1. Civil War battlefield sites, forts, and fortifications
        2. Civil War museums
        3. Plantations
        4. Lincoln-related destinations
      3. Westward expansion road trip
        1. Restored Wild West towns, mines, and ghost towns
        2. Dude ranches, rodeos, and cowboy experiences
        3. Native American destinations and experiences
        4. Forts & fortifications 
      4. WW1/WW2 road trip
        1. Museums
        2. Monuments & cemeteries
        3. New Deal sites: CCC infrastructure projects, murals & artwork
      5. Black history road trip
        1. Museums
        2. Monuments & memorials
        3. Civil Rights/abolitionist sites
        4. Homesteads of notable black Americans
        5. HBCUs
      6. Cold War road trip
        1. Missile silos
        2. Bunkers/bomb shelters
      7. Federally-designed historical sites
        1. National historic sites: Military parks, battlefield parks, battlefield sites
        2. National monuments & memorials
        3. National historical parks/sites
    3. Military History road trip
      1. Battlefield sites & cemeteries
      2. Military museums
      3. Air shows
      4. Military academies
  2. NATURAL WONDERS ROAD TRIPS
    1. National Parks road trip. One of the greatest privileges of living in the US are our fabulous national parks, but don't overlook other federally-designated natural areas, including:
      1. National monuments
      2. National preserves
      3. National lakeshores/seashores
      4. National rivers/wild and scenic riverways
      5. National scenic trails/parkways
    2. State Parks road trip. State parks can be unappreciated treasures! 
    3. Natural Wonders road trip. The US is blessed with a plethora of natural wonders. Craft a road trip designed to explore natural wonders in general, or focus on a specific feature: waterfalls, arches, slot canyons, impact craters, volcanic features, big trees
    4. Camping Experience road trip. Spend a weekend tent camping, cabin camping, or glamping. National and state parks often offer cabin/bungalow experiences. 
    5. Beautiful Biomes road trip. Experience one of Earth's unique ecosystems!
      1. Biomes: Tundra/arctic, taiga/evergreen forests (commonly found on mountaintops), temperate deciduous forests (trees with leaves that drop), grasslands, rainforests (tropical, temperate), deserts, freshwater, marine
      2. Ecosystems: Wetlands, cypress swamps, salt marshes, beaches, temperate rainforests, caves, coral reefs, hot springs, bioluminescent bays, etc.
  3. CULTURAL ROAD TRIPS
    1. America's Cultural Diversity road trip.  Pick one of the many, many immigrant populations that contribute out our country's diversity and craft a road trip designed to learn more about them. Possible destinations include:  
      1. Ethnic neighborhoods/towns
      2. Cultural street/arts festivals
      3. Ethnic restaurants
      4. Embassies/museums
    2. Museum Experience road trip. Create a road trip that combines stops at federal, state, university, and local museums. Add whimsy by focusing on museums dedicated to unusual topics: medical sciences, agricultural products, cryptography, entertainment, etc.
    3. Institutes of Higher Learning road trip. Many US campuses are strikingly lovely, populated by ornate, historically important buildings or located in gorgeous locations. Check them out!
    4. Spiritual Journeys road trip. Explore the US's religious roots. 
      1. Historic churches/missions
      2. Spiritual sites
    5. Fabulous Fairs & Festivals road trip. In a country this big, there are multiple festivals/fairs occurring every week of the year. Some ideas: 
      1. State fairs/agricultural fairs
      2. Street fairs: Food festivals, cultural festivals
      3. Holiday/seasonal festivals
      4. Arts festivals/fairs: Music festivals, crafts festivals, theater festivals
      5. Novelty festivals: Mummer's parades, Renaissance festivals
    6. Underground City Experiences road trips. All big cities have an "underground" life -  music venues, pop-up restaurants, speakeasies, and other experiences - known only to the hippest of locals ... or anyone dedicated enough to search social media for clues. 
  4. ARTS ROAD TRIPS
    1. Art Experience road trip
      1. Art museums/galleries
      2. Artist homesteads
      3. Public art installations
    2. Architecture Exploration road trip
      1. Specific architectural styles/genres: Victorian, Spanish Colonial, Art Deco, Mid-Century Modern
      2. Civil engineering projects: Bridges, skyscrapers, dams
      3. Famous neighborhoods/architects
      4. Novelty destinations: Castles, vernaculars
    3. Entertainment (TV/Movie/Theater) road trip
      1. Live performances: TV studios, theaters
      2. Festivals: Film festivals, theater festivals
      3. Movie/TV filming locations
      4. Famous theaters: Historic theaters, nostalgic theaters
    4. Music Lovers road trip
      1. Specific musical genre road trip: Rock, pop, country, jazz, R&B, blues, classical, opera, Broadway, indie 
        1. Museums
        2. Music festivals
        3. Notable music cities/venues
        4. Recording studios
        5. Live performances
    5. Bookworm road trip
      1. Novel destinations: Author homesites, locations featured in famous novels
      2. Notable libraries & atheneums
      3. Book conferences, fairs & festivals: Book festivals, author/genre-specific events
      4. Book themed bars/hotels
      5. Notable bookstores
    6. Crafting road trip: craft conventions & events
  5. SCIENCE ROAD TRIPS
    1. Natural History road trips
      1. Natural History museums
      2. All About Animals road trips
        1. Zoos/wild animal parks
        2. Wild animal safaris/boat tours
        3. Aquariums
        4. Farms
        5. Live animal encounters: Swim with dolphins/manatees, feed giraffes
        6. Animal research facilities and sanctuaries
      3. Botanical road trips
        1. Botanical gardens
        2. Flower shows
    2. Space Exploration road trip
      1. Launch facilities
      2. NASA facilities
      3. Planetariums & observatories
      4. Dark Sky parks 
    3. Understanding our Earth Geology/Paleontology road trip
      1. Rockhounding/panning for gold
      2. Digging for fossils
      3. Notable geologic features: Fault lines, cave systems, volcanic features, impact craters
  6. EXPERIENCE ROAD TRIPS 
    1. Explore Your Passions road trip. Think about your hobbies - what you do for fun, or would like to do if you had the time! Now, identify opportunities to explore those hobbies on the road. Potential opportunities are as various as personal hobbies, but might include museums, historic venues, conferences/conventions, classes, or experiences. Following are some examples: 
      1. Model trains: Model train museums/displays
      2. Creative writing/blogging: Writing festivals/workshops, writers retreats
      3. Video games: Gaming conventions, gaming competitions, gaming museums/arcades
      4. Cooking: Cooking schools/classes, farmers markets
      5. Experience/fantasy camps: Rock n' roll camps, cowboy camps
      6. Crafting: Craft shows/conferences, workshops, art colonies
      7. Genealogy: Genealogy libraries, halls of records, cemeteries
    2. Sports Fan road trips
      1. Major/minor league teams & facilities: Stadiums/arenas, racetracks
      2. University teams & facilities
      3. Historic/notable facilities
      4. Notable competitions/tournaments
      5. Sports museums/Halls of fame
    3. Watersports road trips
      1. Boating/sailing
      2. White water rafting/tubing
      3. Ocean/river/lake cruises
      4. Swimming/snorkling
    4. Sports & Recreation road trips
      1. Hiking/climbing/running/biking: Notable events, notable tracks/trails
      2. Hunting/fishing
    5. Exotic Travels road trip
      1. Train journeys: Scenic railroads, cog railroads
      2. Steamboat/ferry journeys
      3. Novelty automobile/motorcycle journeys
      4. Hot air balloon journeys
    6. Make Them Laugh road trip
      1. Comedy clubs
      2. Comic theater performances 
    7. Bucket list road trip. Because it's never too soon to start crossing items off your bucket list!
    8. National Parties & Parades road trip
      1. Famous/notable holiday celebrations
      2. Famous parades
      3. Mardi Gras
    9. Lifelong Learning road trips
      1. Tours led by organizations/universities
      2. Discovery camps/experiences
      3. University sessions/courses
      4. Active archeology sites
    10. Acts of Service road trips
      1. Build houses
      2. Participate in ecological restoration projects
      3. Volunteer in areas recovering from natural disasters
    11. Novelty B&B road trip. Because a vacation doesn't have to be about what you do, but where you stay. Memorable overnight options include: treehouses, lighthouses, houseboats, train cars, RVs, historic lodges, watchtowers, museums, battleships and more
    12. Mystery trip. Open a map, close your eyes, tap a spot on the map, and go explore!
  7. SHOPPING ROAD TRIPS
    1. Antiquing road trips
      1. Antique malls
      2. Antique districts
      3. Auction houses
    2. Factory Tour road trips
    3. Bargain shopping road trips
      1. Flea markets & yard sales
      2. Outlet malls & potteries
      3. Auction houses
      4. Abandoned luggage sales
  8. SEASONAL ROAD TRIPS
    1. Spring road trips
      1. Spring sports & recreation: Golf, baseball
    2. Summer road trips
      1. Summer sports & recreation: Water sports, soccer
      2. Fruit picking
      3. Outdoor concerts/events
    3. Autumn road trips
      1. Autumn sports & recreation: Football
      2. Leaf peeping road trip
      3. Pumpkin patches, corn mazes & hay rides
      4. Apple picking
    4. Winter road trips
      1. Winter sports & recreation: Hockey, basketball, skiing
      2. Christmas-themed destinations
  9. HEALTH/WELLNESS ROAD TRIPS
    1. Resort road trips
      1. Family resorts
      2. Adult resorts: Casinos 
    2. Wellness road trips
      1. Spas
      2. Retreats
  10. FOOD ROAD TRIPS
    1. Diners, Dives & Drive-In road trips
      1. Food street festivals
      2. Diners, dives, and drive-ins
    1. Destination Restaurant road trips
      1. Historic restaurants
      2. Famous chefs
      3. Regional flavors
    2. Favorite Flavors road trips 
      1. Farms/farmers markets
      2. Favorite cuisines. What's your favorite flavor - BBQ? chili? chicken fried steak? pizza? Turn your passion into a road trip to discover new variations
    3. Boozy road trips
      1. Winery/brewery/distillery tours
      2. Wine/beer/booze street festivals
      3. Wine/beer/bourbon trails
  11. NOSTALGIA/KITSCH ROAD TRIPS
    1. Childhood Memories road trips. Give yourself permission to relive your happy childhood vacation memories!
      1. Revisit favorite childhood destinations
      2. Relive favorite childhood memories
      3. Give yourself permission to play
    2. Dark Side road trips. Indulge your inner goth with these macabre vacation inspirations: 
      1. Haunted houses/hotels or ghost tours
      2. Macabre museums/historical sites: Cemeteries, medical museums
      3. Murder mystery events
    3. Kitschy road trip. Get your kicks on Route 66 ... or seek out the spirit of Route 66 that permeates every corner of this marvelous, kitschy country of ours!
      1. Novelty museums: Museums dedicated to specific products/events; cryptozoological museums
      2. Roadside attractions
      3. Novelty festivals/fairs

4/14/2024

75+ Actually Useful Tips for Long-Haul Road Trips


One day, assuming we retire before we become decrepit, hubby and I are planning a bunch of long road trips across the U.S.  
We’re looking forward to experiencing all the usual things: national and state parks, historical sites, cultural sites, ballparks, roadside attractions.

I’m guessing our mode of travel is probably fairly ordinary: we’ll be staying at hotels vs. going in on an RV or roughing it at campgrounds or hostels.

And I’m guessing our priorities are similar to the priorities of most road trippers: convenience, safety, saving money, sustainability (reducing waste).

When I started researching road trip hack websites, however, I kept stumbling upon the same  40-50 tips, some of them useful, some of them silly (cupcake papers to line your car cupholders? seriously?), some of the little more than product endorsements. Frustrating! So I decided to start aggregating my own list, keeping track of the tips that seem genuinely useful and adding additional ideas culled from related websites.

Am sharing that list here, in hopes that my research proves useful for others. Not every tip will be applicable to every journey, but there ought to be something relevant here for most long-haul car travelers – and if you have tips I haven’t thought of, please feel free to share them below!

Convenience & sustainability

  1. Pack at least one mildew-resistant towel to use in the car for cleanups, drying things off after rainstorms, swimming/wading, etc.
  2. While you’re at it, pack a larger multipurpose blanket as well. Useful for extra warmth in your car or hotel, and it can double as a picnic blanket for concerts or events.
  3. Bring reusable, collapsible bags of various sizes, to use for on-the-fly storage and shopping.
  4. Change your phone’s lock screen to display your emergency contact info, so folks can contact you if you lose your phone
  5. Bring change for random “off-grid” tollbooths and those old-school parking meters you’ll still find in older towns
  6. Between GPS, internet searches, and photos, cellphones get heavier than usual usage on road trips. Pack multiple battery packs for recharging your phone on the fly.
  7. For longer trips that will require doing laundry, it will be more convenient – and less expensive – to bring your own supplies: pods, dryer sheets, quarters, hangers (for drying), stain pens. Save room by bringing only the quantity you’ll need.
    1. To avoid schlepping dirty laundry in and out of hotel rooms, pack a laundry bag to store dirty clothes in the car until laundry day
Ways to save money on hotels
  1. Skip hotel booking sites and make your reservations directly. Hotels would rather not pay travel site commissions if they can help it, so they will usually match or beat travel site prices if you ask – and they may even throw in free upgrade like a nicer room or complimentary breakfast.
  2. Take advantage of discounts offered to veterans, AAA members, seniors (often through AARP), government employees, and/or students, which are often applied on top of other discounts.
  3. Take advantage of hotel and travel website “frequent guest” programs to earn free nights. Better yet, use both in tandem. FYI, the points aren’t just good for free nights; often, they can be used to score steep discounts on rooms in expensive destinations, which may end up being even more useful. If you’re loyal to a particular chain, you might check to see if they offer discounted gift cards.
  4. Use those hotel coupons books found at state-run interstate rest stops to locate good hotel room deals. Often these coupon books will list motels that don't show up on online booking sites, an extra bonus. (Give me a great mom-and-pop motel over a chain hotel any day!) 
  5. Don't be taken by surprise by hotel add-ons like parking fees, wifi fees, or resort fees. Ironically, the more expensive the hotel, the more likely they are to charge for extras. If in doubt, call the hotel and ask them to disclose any add-ons. 
  6. If you can live with a little risk, wait to book your room until the day you need it – preferably after 4pm – to take advantage of the desperation of hotels to fill any remaining empty rooms. You can do this yourself or through the website HotelTonight. Just one caveat: in high-demand destinations, where there’s more demand than supply, hotels may raise same-day prices to exploit the anxiety of last-minute guests. 
  7. Be mindful that hotel pricing is event-driven. If local hotel prices are likely to be inflated, it may be more cost-effective to stay further away than you’d usually consider and drive in.
  8. If you’re okay with trading no-frills for price, consider booking a hostel instead of a hotel. The Hostelworld website can help you find a place. Another option: cabins in state and national parks can be an affordable alternative to hotels, though they may lack certain amenities
  9. Don’t be afraid to constantly reassess your priorities. Location, free breakfast, laundry room, swimming pool – sometimes these will be worth paying for; other times, it may make more financial sense to temporarily compromise on one or more of your “inflexibles”
Ways to save money on food
  1. Tips for saving money on destination restaurants
    1. Lunch menus are usually cheaper than dinner menus
    2. Some restaurants offer discounts on food at happy hour
    3. Search Groupon for discounts
    4. Check to see if the restaurant offers discounts for military, seniors, first responders, or other special groups
    5. Unless beverages are part of the experience (iconic cocktails at a historic bar, for instance), stick to water and save your money for the food you’re there to enjoy
    6. If you’re just there for the ambiance, consider limiting yourself to an appetizer or dessert
  2. Avoid the constant expense of fast food by taking advantage of free hotel breakfasts. (You may also want to snag a yogurt, oatmeal packages, or piece of fruit for the road as you leave.)
  3. Consider preparing some of your meals in your hotel room. Almost all hotel rooms these days feature fridges and microwaves, suitable for preparing simple meals. (If there’s no microwave in your room, there’s often a communal microwave available in the lobby.)  If you’re feeling especially ambitious, you can even pack a George Foreman grill or mini-crockpot for expanding your hotel meal options. If you're going to eat in the room, here are some things you may want to pack: 
    1. A set of basic dinnerware for each person: plate, bowl, knife, fork, spoon. 
    2. Basic condiments: salt, pepper, catsup.
    3. Tupperware containers to use as microwave containers, bowls for eating, and/or storage
    4. A basic food prep kit: can opener, paring knife, cutting board, spatula, serving spoon
    5. Dishwashing liquid and a sponge
  4. Keep a cooler and hamper stocked with food for eating in the car. Coolers also come in handy for storing leftovers from restaurants or hotel cooking. (FYI, they now have coolers that plug into your car's electrical system.)
  5. Buy your road trip food and meals at grocery stores, avoiding inflated convenience store prices
  6. Bring your own reusable water bottles & coffee containers, to cut down on trash and costs. Handy for taking your hotel coffee on the road, and you can refill your water bottle throughout the day as opportunities arise. (TIP: additives like powdered mixes or Mio are easy to transport and mask odd aftertastes).
Ways to save money on travel
  1. Select “no tolls” on your GPS guidance to avoid toll roads. (Besides, who knows what wonders might you stumble upon once you leave interstates behind?)
  2. Look for deals on gasoline
    1. Consider gas station credit cards & programs that offer rewards
    2. Use apps like gasbuddy.com to find the cheapest gas prices
    3. If you belong to one of those national warehouse chains (Costco, Sam’s Club), consider buying your gas there
  3. When visiting cities or major attraction, parking can be inconvenient and expensive. Consider whether it makes sense to leave your car at the hotel and use local public transportation
Ways to save money on attractions
  1. Research your destinations in advance. Some offer lower admission prices for days when they are open shorter hours (typically Mondays). 
  2. Look for Groupons, city passes, or reciprocal passes that may save you money on the attractions you're interested in. (For instance, many major botanical gardens participate in reciprocal programs.) 
  3. If you're planning to visit national and state parks, it may make sense to buy yearly passes, which they pay for themselves after just 2-3 admissions. (By the way, you may qualify for free park passes if you are military, a gold star family, or a senior citizen.) 
  4. Find free events & attractions
    1. Look for free guided tours offered by tourist bureaus, docents, or volunteers
    2. Google “free things to do in ____________” (or “Cheap things to do in ____”) to find attractions you may not have considered
    3. Get acquainted with the local subreddits for the cities you'll be passing through. Members can often direct you towards the best cheap eats and “off the beaten track” destinations
  5. Keep track of all your expenses as you go, to help identify areas where you might be spending more than you think.
Fitness & Health
  1. Pack a comfort kit with basic toiletries you might need while in the car: hairbrush, lotion, fingernail clippers, sunscreen, hand sanitizer, tissues, lip balm, toothbrush/paste/mouthwash, wet wipes. Then make sure to locate your pack someplace accessible.
  2. Pack a pharmacy bag with meds you might need on the road for basic comfort (pain relievers, antacids, etc.). Include basic first aid items, but don’t go overboard, because – realistically - even in the remotest parts of the U.S. you’re probably only a short drive or a phone call away from medical assistance. Focus on items for treating immediate needs: Bandaids, aspirin (for heart issues), tweezers, earplugs, eyewash, blister relief, etc.
  3. Bring workout clothes for hotel gyms
  4. Consider joining a gym with locations nationwide, so that you can stop in at various cities to avail yourself of the facilities
  5. If all else fails, bring your own exercise equipment: an aerobics video, resistance cords, a jump rope.
Safety
  1. Bring a basic car repair kit – especially if you’ll be travelling through remote areas (ex: tire inflation kit, battery cords/recharger)
  2. Bring car and travel insurance information (ex: AAA membership; also, some cars come with travel assistance)
  3. Pack a flashlight or headlamp for after-dark emergencies
  4. Pack paper maps or a road atlas for navigating in areas that don't have wifi access. (Happens more often than you may think.) 
  5. Always gas up your car when it hits 1/2 empty – especially if you’re in a remote area. You don't want to risk running out of gas, or having to patronize a gas station in a sketchy area.  Also remember to gas up during daylight hours if you are going to have to travel at night.
  6. Use window screens, shades, and/or blankets to conceal your car's contents from thieves.
  7. Keep an extra key to your car in your wallet, to prevent being locked out. (If your car has a manual keypad, program it.) 
  8. If you're worried about staying safe in your hotel, consider investing in a door alarm that will sound if someone tries to open your door. 
  9. Consider travelling with a can of pepper spray that you can quickly access if you feel unsafe.
Packing tips
  1. Use packing cubes to organize and store your clothes, coats, and shoes. Not only do they keep your things sorted, folded, and clean, but packing cubes make packing/repacking a breeze: just throw them into the suitcase, zip, and leave. 
  2. Maintain an “overnight bag” that contains the things you need for the night (ex: PJs, toilettries, meds). Then throw in the clothes you'll need for the morning. So much easier than shlepping your suitcase into/out of hotels every evening & morning! 
  3. “There’s a duffle for that.” Create a separate duffle for each special needs/event/activity (ex: cooking, swimming, hiking, exercising, inclement weather), so you can quickly grab what you need without having to unpack/repack.
    1. Consider jettisoning suitcases entirely and storing your stuff (sorted into duffles or packing cubes) in open laundry baskets in the back of your car. Place the stuff you won't need every day in the more remote baskets. 
  4. Bring an accordion file for organizing and storing brochures, maps and other paperwork  you may collect on the way
  5. Remember that temps can be 20-30 degrees colder at elevation or underground - so pack some layers if you are going to be driving through mountains or taking cave tours
Car comfort
  1. Clean out your glove box before you leave so that you can use the space to store important papers & receipts
  2. If your seat belt strap has a tendency to abrade your neck over time, invest in padding or repositioning devices that will help alleviate the discomfort. 
  3. Consider purchasing a lumbar support device to prevent backaches
  4. Your car seats are going to get a lot of wear! Consider whether you want to cover them in some sort of protective padding. 
  5. Pack clothing layers for temperature changes (& a headscarf for blowing hair if necessary)
  6. Pack a travel pillow for napping
  7. Make a plan for how passengers will store and recharge their phones while in the car. (Tip: There are some simple elastic-based systems for turning sun visors into accessible and convenient storage.  Another option may be suction cup organizers that can be affixed to windows. Avoid blocking HVAC vents.)
  8. Prepare audiobooks, podcasts, and playlists to keep you entertained on the road, and be sure to download content for portions of the trip without wireless service
  9. Create road trip mental games & challenges (Ex: pick a category & ID examples starting with A-Z)
  10. Bring a basic car cleaning kit for maintenance & spills
  11. Optimize your back-of-seat storage space with hanging shoe holders or carbiners (for hanging things, like purses or bags full of supplies)
  12. Keep a trash can (lined to store fluids) for storing trash between stops
  13. Shower caddies can be useful for staging food/accessories in the car so that they are easily accessed. For instance, the caddy shown here is ideal for staging sandwich/chips/drink combos.
  14. Grocery store & hotel bathrooms are usually cleaner/safer than gas stations, and less awkward to access than restaurant bathrooms. 
  15. If you have to sleep in your car, pick the parking lot of a 24hr restaurant so you have access to a toilet
    1. Lock your seat belt through the handle of the door for extra security

Hotel comfort
  1. Pack a duffle of things that may come in handy: disposable kitchen trash bags, Ziploc bags (for storing wet/messy things), carbiners (for hanging things), extension cord/power strip, multi-recharger, portable fan (for hotel rooms with inadequate A/C), noise machine, febreeze (for stinky rooms), nightlight, curtain clips (to prevent curtain gap)
  2. A bit of a germophobe? Hotel room linens aren't necessarily changed every day. If this bothers you, you might consider bringing a lightweight sleeping bag insert and your own pillowcase to layer over whatever the hotel provides
  3. Options for optimizing hotel entertainment:
    1. Bring cables to hook your streaming device up to the TV
    2. Bring wireless speakers to stream entertainment or amp your streaming volume
    3. Bring a selection of games, card games & puzzles. (FYI, if you just love jigsaw puzzles but can't count on hotel tables that are large enough, one of those 3-panel "science fair" cardboard displays can be laid over tables to enlarge the surface area.)
Day trips
  1. Bring a variety of light, collapsible storage options - backpack, crossbody water bottle carrier, fanny pack, passport wallet - to accommodate a variety of day trips. 
  2. Consider bringing collapsible chairs for attending spontaneous concerts or theater-in-the-park
  3. Hit bigger cities on weekends, when there are more likely to be special events and tourist venues will have extended hours
  4. For each attraction you are visiting, research not just Groupons and free days, but also hours and whether reservations are required. Nothing's more frustrating than arriving at an attraction, only to find out that you've arrived on the one day of the week that they're closed or that you need a timed ticket for admission
  5. Bring a memory card (or two) to offload photos from your phone so you don’t run out of memory
Apps to improve your experience
  1. Roadtrippers – A popular app for planning your route and destinations in advance
  2. Google Maps – Can be used to plan your route and destinations in advance; can also be used to ID local restaurants/gas/attractions
  3.  iExit – Tells you what amenities are located at each interstate exit
  4. Gasbuddy – Helps locate gas stations & compare prices
  5. Flush – Locates the nearest bathroom
  6. Hotel Tonight- Specializes in last-minute (same day) hotel deals
  7. Hostelworld – App for locating hostels
  8. Momandpopmotels.com - Specializes in identifying hotels/motels that aren't listed by the usual hotel booking websites
  9. Rentalcars.com – App for finding rental car deals at the last minute
  10. Plugshare – App for locating EV charging stations
  11. SpotHero – Allows you to reserve parking spaces in advance (useful for locations/events with constrained parking)
  12. PowWow – Drops a pin on a Google Map to help you remember where you parked your car
  13. Libby – App that allows you to download audiobooks
  14. Spotify – App that allows you to download podcasts and/or playlists
  15. Groupon – App that offers coupons and discounts for restaurants, attractions, and experiences
  16. NARMAssociation - An association of museums that that offers discounted admissions 
  17. Roadside America/Roadside Attractions – Helps locate quirky roadside attractions
  18. BringFido – Helps locate dog-friendly places to stay/eat/visit
  19. Alltrails – App for locating hiking trails
  20. iNaturalist – App for identifying plants
  21. Merlin Bird ID – App for identifying birds
  22. Sky guide – App for identifying stars




45+ Times When Life Becomes a Meme

You know how most of the time life is pretty mundane, but every once in a while the fates align and suddenly you find yourself in the middle of a meme?  Here are some examples my friends and I recently brainstormed (which, I realize, explains why so many of these are girly): 
  1. Climbing to the top of a hill and suddenly you’re Maria Von Trapp, preparing to burst out into song
  2. Wrapping yourself in a shawl or blanket and suddenly you’re Catherine in Wuthering Heights, wandering the moors in search of Heathcliff
  3. Resting a laundry basket on your hip and suddenly you’re a peasant woman fetching food back from the market for your family
  4. Hitching your long skirt up as you come down the stairs and suddenly you’re a character in a Jane Austen novel making your grand entrance at the ball
  5. Walking out into a snowstorm, bundled in layers of coats, and suddenly you’re an indigenous Alaskan off to hunt seals and slay polar bears
  6. Wearing red heels and suddenly you’re Dorothy following a yellow brick road through Oz
  7. Pulling your hoodie over your head and suddenly you’re a stealthy assassin ready to stalk your unsuspecting human prey
  8. Collecting flowers in your garden and suddenly you’re a character from a British pastoral novel, preparing for a visit from the vicar
  9. Setting off on a walk, walking stick in hand, and suddenly you’re Frodo off to Rivendell with the one ring safely stowed in your pocket
  10. Dipping your bread into your soup and suddenly you’re a peasant grabbing sustenance between long hours of grueling labor
  11. Building a fire using twigs and kindling and suddenly you’re a cowboy out on the prairie, ready to warm up some beans and then fall asleep beneath the stars
  12. Tying a scarf over your hair and suddenly you’re a 1950s Hollywood starlet off on a trip down the Pacific Coast in your sporty convertible
  13. Jogging up a hill or set of stairs and suddenly you’re Rocky Balboa training for the big fight
  14. Picking up something fragile and suddenly you’re Indiana Jones finessing a golden idol from a pedestal without triggering the booby traps
  15. A freak breeze stirs your skirt and suddenly you’re Marilyn Monroe walking across a subway vent in the Seven Year Itch
  16. Playing with glowsticks and suddenly you’re an airport technician, guiding incoming aircraft across dark runways to safe refuge
  17. Piloting an RC car or drone and suddenly you’re a member of the NASA team responsible for deploying the latest rover over the perilous surface of Mars
  18. Trying to figure out which child committed a specific act of destruction and suddenly you’re a forensic scientist, collecting evidence preparatory to announcing the prime suspect
  19. Participating in your favorite sport and suddenly you’re a pro athlete, surrounded by adoring crowds cheering you on
  20. Preparing to chop raw meat, cleaver in hand, and suddenly you’re Michael Myers in a Halloween movie, ready to horrifically murder your next victim
  21. Snorkling in a shallow area and suddenly you’re Jacques Cousteau, delving into the mysteries of the Mariana Trench
  22. Singing along with the car radio and suddenly you’re a professional performer, stunning adoring crowds of fans with your virtuosity and talent
  23. Throwing leftovers together in hopes of creating something edible and suddenly you’re a chef creating astonishing new recipes
  24. Walking out the ocean surf, water dripping off your suit, and suddenly you’re channeling your inner Bond Girl or Daniel Craig.
  25. Casually admiring flocks of birds on a plaza and suddenly you’re Tippi Hedren in a Hitchcock thriller, scanning the area for cover in case they suddenly decide to attack
  26. Standing in the rain and suddenly you’re Andy Dufresne in Shawshank Redemption, emerging from the sewer to freedom
  27. Rearranging the furniture in your room and suddenly you’re on one of those HGTV reality shows, staging your home for the cameras
  28. Throwing together an outfit from leftovers in your closet and suddenly you’re a TikTok influencer, about to debut a new look that’s sure to become a cultural sensation
  29. Bouncing around in a bouncy house and suddenly you’re an astronaut propelling yourself across the surface of the moon
  30. Successfully navigating a bit of twisty road and suddenly you’re a stunt driver filming a television commercial for a sports car manufacturer
  31. Commenting on the quality of the food at a restaurant and suddenly you’re a restaurant critic preparing what you’ll say in the review you’ll be including in tomorrow’s column
  32. Taking photos as you hike through a national park and suddenly you’re Ansel Adams, capturing the wonders of nature so that you can share them with the rest of the world
  33. Playing catch with your child and suddenly you’re Ray Kinsella having a catch with Shoeless Joe Jackson
  34. Jumping your bike over an obstacle in the path and suddenly you’re Evil Knievel jumping a vast and perilous gorge over a roiling river
  35. Eating spaghetti, surreptitiously slurping up a bit of dangling pasta, and suddenly you’re in a Disney movie sharing a plate of pasta with Lady or the Tramp
  36. Walking outside on a windy autumn evening, listening to the leaves rustle over the pavement, and suddenly you’re listening for the sound of hoofbeats in case the Headless Horseman is preparing to pursue you
  37. Removing your shoes as you walk into the house and suddenly you’re in Japan, being invited to enter a temple or tea house
  38. On your hands and knees scrubbing schmutz off the floor and suddenly you’re Cinderella being persecuted by evil stepsisters
  39. Eating at a diner at night and suddenly you’re in a noir film, waiting for gangsters with tommy guns – or possibly a femme fatale carrying a mysterious package - to burst through the front door
  40. Picking up any sort of stick, pole, or tube and suddenly you’re a famous swordsman (or Jedi) about to engage in an epic battle
  41. Taking a shower, just minding your business, when you hear the sound of someone entering the room and suddenly you’re convinced someone’s going to stab you a la that scene in Psycho
  42. Rising to your feet after a long session of weeding, your back aching, and suddenly you’re a peasant laboring in the fields for the overseer
  43. Sipping a cup of tea and suddenly you’re a character in a British novel of manners
  44. Walking along the beach, the wind catching your clothes, and suddenly you’re the ingenue in a romance novel, waiting for your sailor to return from the sea
  45. Boarding a train and suddenly you’re a character in a thriller, surrounded by fellow passengers who are almost certainly spies, celebrities in disguise, or international jewel thieves
  46. Plopping yourself down at the counter of a restaurant and suddenly you’re a 1950s teen decked out in saddle shoes and a poodle skirt, preparing to order a burger and a malted.

4/07/2024

40+ Earth Day Activities for Middle Schoolers


Earth Day (April 22) is a great opportunity to introduce kids to the idea of environmental stewardship.  And there are, in fact, a number of environmental stewardship projects that lend themselves to school-wide initiatives. I haven't bothered to add a lot of detail to this list of project ideas, because I'm sensitive to the fact that every school will have unique social, cultural, economic, and environmental factors that will impact how projects can realistically be implemented. Never fear: you'll find any missing information out there on the web, waiting to be useful. 

So, why even bother to compile yet another list of Earth Day projects?  Because while good ideas are out there, too many of the lists I kept finding during my teaching career were what you might call "stewardship-adjacent." While they might teach kids about nature or science, or involve generating non-specific "Save the World" messages, they're not designed to actually help the Earth (or teach the kids how to help the Earth) in any authentic way.  To the extent possible, I've tried to keep this list focused on realistic, actionable initiatives.  

Hope there's something here that you'll find helpful! 

Planting Things. (Keep in mind that gardens don't have to be dug into the ground; rooftops, raised beds, and containers can all facilitate planting projects.) 

  1. Challenge students to identify keystone plant species in their community and use the information to plan and participate in planting projects (ex: re-introducing native species into areas that have experienced a loss of biodiversity)
  2. Have students plant native fruits, vegetables, and/or spices to reduce the quantity of goods that must be trucked across long distances. (Bonus: implement a plan for growing the foodstuffs organically)
  3. Have students make and deploy seed bombs (utilizing seeds from native species, of course)
  4. Have students raise native plant seedlings and give them away. 

Helping Animals.

  1. Arrange for students to build and install bird or bat houses
  2. Arrange for students to build bee or bug hotels (ex: dead wood habitats)
  3. Have students plant a pollinator garden to support the health of local pollinators (bees, moths/butterflies, hummingbirds, bats, etc.) 
  4. Challenge students to create mini-ecosystems to restore/promote biodiversity (ex: dead wood habitat, water garden habitat) in their community 
  5. Have students create wildlife feeding stations (birdseed, peanuts, salt)
  6. Arrange for students to raise and release native ladybugs or butterflies
  7. Arrange for students to raise and distribute worms for people who would like to use them for composting
  8. Challenge students to select a specific endangered species, conduct research to become familiar with the factors that are threatening them, and then brainstorm actions that they can take to help address those threats 

Helping the Earth

  1. Help students organizes and participate in a watershed or roadway cleanup
  2. Have students protect and/or repair an area that is experiencing erosion. (Most campuses have areas of grass loss due to high traffic - the perfect place to start)
  3. Arrange for students to label local storm drains with "anti-dumping" reminders
  4. Help students educate themselves about invasive species and then provide an opportunity for them to remove them
  5. Have students research local community environmental issues (ex: erosion, water/air/soil/noise/light pollution, overuse of fertilizers, destruction of habitats, flood plain destruction, sustainable development) and then write letters to their local legislators advocating for realistic solutions
  6. Arrange for students to participate in a citizen science initiative, gathering data that will inform environmental stewardship initiatives
  7. With storms expected to increase in severity, challenge students to identify potential local flooding issues and brainstorm solutions 
  8. Encourage students to identify an environmental cause that they feel passionate about and organize a fundraiser to support their chosen activity.   

Educating Themselves & Others

  1. Challenge students to create an activity that will educate members of their community (school or beyond) about an environmental issues and what needs to be done to address the issue
  2. Have students research local community environmental issues and brainstorm actions that could address the issues presented (or, better yet, identify actions that they can personally take to address problem)
  3. Arrange for students to research a specific environmental issue (ideally something an issue that is nuanced, with multiple stakeholders, such as infrastructure development) and then organize a class-wide or school-wide debate 
  4. Encourage students to calculate their family's carbon footprint and, based on the results, brainstorm ways to reduce their family's greenhouse gas emissions.
  5. Encourage students to calculate their family's water footprint and, based on the results, brainstorm ways to reduce their family's water usage. 
  6. Organize a school-wide book club focusing on books with environmental themes. Challenge students to brainstorm actions that could address the issues presented. 
  7. Host a school-wide watch party of an environmental documentary then, afterwards, challenge students to brainstorm actions that could address the issues presented. 
  8. Arrange to have a speaker talk to your class or school about an environmental issue that requires addressing, then challenge your students to brainstorm actions that need to be taken to address the issues

Living a More Sustainable Life

  1. Have students research stewardship ideas, choose one, and sign a pledge committing to implementing the practice in their personal lives
  2. Have students create reusable bags that they can use for shopping 
  3. Arrange for students to build composting bins and/or implement a compositing program at school or home
  4. Arrange for students to upcycle items that would otherwise be destined for a landfill
  5. Challenge students to make a plan for sustainable buying. (Ex: have kids list everything they're planning to buy in the coming month and then brainstorm sustainable sources or alternatives)
  6. Challenge students to keep track of all the trash they generate in a day and then brainstorm changes they can make to generate less trash in future. 
  7. Challenge students to brainstorm ways to reduce food waste at home or school
  8. Arrange for students to research vegetarian recipes and/or create a collaborative vegetarian cookbook
  9. Challenge students to create a plan to reduce energy use in the classroom or at home 
  10. Challenge students to create a plan to reduce water usage in school or at home
  11. Organize a "bike or bus to school" day with the object of limiting individual car trips
  12. Have students sponsor an "e-waste collection" event and appropriately dispose of the waste they collect

The 20 Types of Readers You Meet on Facebook

I follow at least a half dozen Facebook pages catering to people who enjoy reading. Over time, I've come to assign names to certain types of contributors, which I've organized into the following list. Some of these are sincere, others more than a touch snarky, but I'm betting anyone who reads the same Facebook pages I do would agree that each of these is an authentic archetypes!

 

  1. The Classicists. Only read classics; can often be found arguing over their favorite Russian writer or discussing the merits of various translations.
  2. The Instagrammers. It’s not clear if they actually read books, but they do love posting “shelfies” of their bookstore hauls or current read, often artfully posed next to a trendy mug or witty coffee cup.
  3. The Competitors. Rarely miss an opportunity to reference the number of books they've own or have read.
  4. The Literati. Post in-depth reviews of books fresh from the latest Pulitzer, Booker, or Pen/Faulkner short list that incorporate words like “theme” and “motif.”
  5.  The Scholars. Take pleasure in contributing relevant historical context, biographical insights, or academic insights.
  6. The Snobs. Eager to share info about their obscure reading choices, which often turn out to be selections from “1001 Things to Read Before You Die”.
  7.  The Populists. Ready at any time to discuss their love of serial fiction; will give one star reviews to books with protagonists they didn’t like.
  8. The Nit Pickers. Eager for any opportunity to draw attention to printing/grammar errors, flaws in research, or anachronisms.
  9. The Cultural Warriors. Post reviews of books that focus on their political or cultural correctness; fond of words such as “offensive” and “woke”.
  10. The High School Hypesters. Love the idea of books but haven’t actually read much since high school, which is why their favorite books are To Kill a Mockingbird, The Great Gatsby, Of Mice and Men, and/or Great Expectations.
  11. The Attention Seekers. No qualifications or clarifications, just “What book should I read next?” or “Share your list of 20 books everyone should read!”
  12. The Instigators. Enjoy stirring the pot with reading-adjacent posts like “Is it okay to write in books?” “Best movie adaptation of a novel?” or “Kindle or paper?”
  13. The Emos. The books they recommend will have titles that you never heard of, cover art that looks like it was drawn by a middle schooler, and typos. Big fans of steam punk, fantasy, fan fiction, alternative histories, and video game serializations.
  14. The Bandwagons. Spamming the chat with such meaningful insights as “I loved it!” or “DNF”
  15. The Misers. Respond to requests for book recommendations with a title and maybe an author, but zero info about the book itself or why it’s worthy of recommendation.
  16. The Hit-and-Runs.  Offer a provocative/controversial opinion, then disable comments so no one can respond.
  17. The Listophiles. Love making and sharing book-related lists. (Yes, like this one …. I’m owning it.)
  18. The Deplorables. Posting comments that inadvertently reveal that they’ve not actually read the book they’re commenting on. (Ex: “Last of the Mohicans” was such a great book – so romantic!”)
  19. The Students. Post weirdly specific requests (ex: “How do you think Hawthorne employs symbolism in A Scarlet Letter?”), apparently in hopes of soliciting answers for upcoming essays or tests. 
  20. The Writers. Will inevitably find a way to turn any chat into an opportunity to discuss their own writer’s journey or share extracts of their own writing/poetry.


2/06/2024

20 Novels, Described Poorly

How many of these famous tales can you identify based on these extremely inept summaries? 

1.       There are men and several rabbits but, puzzlingly, no mice.

2.       A girl learns never to run around in the woods dressed as a ham

3.       A boy goes off to a wizard school where he becomes a jock

4.       It’s the best of times because the two lovers get to live happily ever after, but it’s the worst of times because a lot of people get their heads chopped off

5.       A guy inherits a ring that brings people really bad luck

6.       A gold-digging Southern belle spends the Civil War marrying up

7.       A guy buys a painting that doesn’t age well. At all.

8.       A white whale tries to escape from an obsessive stalker

9.       A guy throws parties for friends but never attends them himself because I guess he’s an introvert?

10.   A psychotic candymaker uses his chocolate factory to lure children to their death

11.   Four sisters find ways to keep themselves busy until they land husbands

12.   A town decides to assign each female a letter, which they have to wear sewn to their dress, but they never get past the letter ‘A’

13.   A guy who’s just trying to live his best life in an African village gets dragged away by a nosy sailor

14.   Society finally achieves a utopia where everyone owns large screen televisions, but some guys who likes books can’t stop complaining

15.   A successful capitalist is tormented by communists ghosts until he agrees to share his wealth

16.   A group of mean girls create drama in a Puritan community (hint: rhymes with “bitches”)

17.   People travelling on a luxury train have their vacation ruined by a murder

18.   A group of kids on an island survive by hunting pigs

19.   An old fisherman refuses to adopt modern fishing practices

20.   A house that is already architecturally unsound finally collapses due to the added weight of a woman who has risen from the grave


____________________

1. Of Mice and Men; 2. To Kill a Mockingbird; 3. Harry Potter and the Sorcerer’s Stone; 4. A Tale of Two Cities; 5. The Lord of the Rings; 6. Gone With the Wind; 7. The Picture of Dorian Gray; 8. Moby Dick; 9. The Great Gatsby; 10. Charlie & the Chocolate Factory; 11. Little Women; 12. The Scarlett Letter; 13. Heart of Darkness; 14. Fahrenheit 451; 15. A Christmas Carol; 16. The Crucible; 17. Murder on the Orient Express; 18. The Lord of the Flies; 19. The Old Man and the Sea; 20. Fall of the House of Usher

12/22/2023

NOVA Gothic -A list of 20 creepy/weird/terrifying things about life in Northern Virginia

 

Like many other states, Virginia has a split identity. The Western and Southern regions are largely rural and agricultural, but the Northern regions have been overrun by suburbs of  Washington DC. Which may sound innocuous, but as someone who's lived in the NOVA area for most of their lives, I can attest to the fact that it's not all wine and roses, man-made lakes and big box stores. Here's a partial list of some of the unnerving aspects of living in NOVA - some a little silly, otherwise legitimately terrifying:  

  1. You’ve never seen a bear/wolf/bobcat in your neighborhood, but you know someone who has.
  2. Suiting up like Mad Max for a trip to the grocery store before any snowstorm expected to deposit more than 2.”
  3. Local radio stations run ads for global weapons systems.
  4. No one questions your 60-minute daily commute to the adjacent suburb.
  5. That guy throwing something into a trash at the local park could be discarding harmless picnic scraps ... or they could be a spy making a dead drop.
  6. Paying as much for a house as other people might spend to purchase their own private Caribbean Island.
  7. Helicopters have been circling for over an hour. No one notices.
  8. Neighbor down the way, when asked what they do for a living, answers in the vaguest way: “I’m a civil servant.”
  9. Potentially living next to (or on top of) the unmarked graves of Civil War soldiers.
  10. Our most insidious invasive species isn’t kudzu, it’s McMansions.
  11. Government shutdowns are existential crises.
  12. Fire drills? Earthquake drills? Try nuclear attack drills.
  13. Is it a road improvement project, or are they installing yet another secret underground bunker? 
  14. HOAs with more power than some third-world governments.
  15. Every day, the data server farms creep a little closer to your home.
  16. Our local competitive sport isn’t high school football … it’s school board meetings.
  17. Pairing business suits with tennis shoes or flip flops is socially acceptable.
  18. Local roads with 10 lanes.
  19. Helicopter dog parents.
  20. Stars? Apparently they’re a real thing, but no one’s ever actually seen them thanks to the 24/7 glare of traffic lights, LED-illuminated retail signage, and office buildings with all the lights left on overnight.

12/02/2023

"He's a 10, but ...": literary edition!


A while ago, my students became obsessed by some sort of Tik Tok trend which involved trying to guess the identity of a classmate or famous person based on a phrase that begins with the words "He's/She's a 10, but ..." and culminates in some sort of coded clue to their identity. 

Not long thereafter, I was brainstorming games for an upcoming gathering of literary friends and decided to repurpose the trend into a literary challenge. 

How many of the following fictional characters can you identify based on the clues provided? 

  1. He's a 10, but frankly he doesn't give a damn
  2. He's a 10, but he has far, far better things to do
  3. He's a 10, but he hasn't figured out what to be or not to be
  4. He's a 10, and he's got some Great Game
  5. He's a 10, but pictures don't do him justice
  6. She's a 10, but you'd always be Wondering where she wandered off to
  7. He's a 10; the twist is that he's a little dodgy
  8. She's a 10, and she's already got her own wedding dress
  9. He's a 10, and he's got a personality as big as a whale
  10. He's a 10, but sometimes clever women leave him feeling a bit Adled
  11. He's a 10, but he refuses to grow up 
  12. She's a 10; in fact, you could say she's earned an A
  13. He's a 10, and his love for you will never die
  14. He's a 10, but he may end up bugging out on you
  15. He's a 10, but he's a bit of a swinger
  16. He's a 10, but he tilts at windmills
  17. He's a 10, and he's willing to grant you his affection even though he holds your family in low regard
  18. He's a 10, but his business trips are epically long
  19. He's a 10, but all the king's men may not be able to save his soul
  20. He's a 10, but you can see right through him
  21. She's a 10, but don't make the Eyrer of comparing her to a bird in a cage

ANSWERS:
1/Rhett Butler, Gone With The Wind; 2/Syndey Carton, Tale of Two Cities; 3/Hamlet, Hamlet; 4/Kim, Kim; 5/Dorian Gray, The Picture of Dorian Gray; 6/Alice, Through the Looking Glass; 7/The Artful Dodger, Oliver Twist; 8/Mrs. Haversham, Great Expectations; 9/Ahab, Moby Dick; 10/Sherlock Holmes, The Adventures of Sherlock Holmes; 11/Peter Pan, Peter Pan; 12/Hester Prynn, The Scarlet Letter; 13/Dracula, Dracula; 14/Gregor, The Metamorphosis; 15/Tarzan, Tarzan of the Apes; 16/Don Quixote, Don Quixote; 17/Mr. Darcy, Pride and Prejudice; 18/Odysseus, The Odyssey; 19/Willie Stark, All The King's Men; 20/Griffin, The Invisible Man; 21/Jane Eyre, Jane Eyre