100+ Things That Scare Us - an Alphabetical List of All Things Creepy, Spooky, and Horrible

In honor of Halloween, thought I'd assemble the following list of things that are generally considered to be unnerving or terrifying. Had to draw a line somewhere, so have left off weird phobias and gag answers - like "taxes." What follows is, I think, a fairly comprehensive list of the impedimenta that horror story/horror movie writers use to give us goosebumps. What have I missed? 

A- Abandoned buildings/places, acid, AI/sentient robots, aliens, alligators, amnesia, anthropomorphized objects, apocalypse, Armageddon, asteroids, asylums, attics, axes

B- Banshees, bats, bears, bedbugs, bees/killer bees, black cats, bloods, boogiemen, bridges, buried alive

C- Cannibalism, catacombs, cellars/basements, cemeteries/crypts, chain saws, chupacabras, circuses/carnivals, clowns, cobwebs, corpses, creepy children, crossroads, cults/secret societies, curses

D- Danse macabre, darkness, death/Grim Reaper, decapitation, decomposition, deja vu, demonic possession, demons/devils, dentists, dinosaurs, dolls, doppelgangers, dungeons

E- Earthquakes, enclosed spaces, eternity, evil eyes, exorcisms

F- Fires, flesh-eating bacteria, flying monkeys, fog/mist, fortunetellers/psychics, freezing, full moons, furries

G- Gargoyles, ghosts/poltergeists, ghost stories, ghouls, gnomes, goblins, golems, gravediggers/grave robbers

H- Hags/crones, Halloween/All Hallow's Eve/Samhain, hallucinations, hanging trees, haunted places (houses, castles, forests ....), hearses, heights/falling, Hell, hitchhikers, horror movies, human sacrifice

I- Icepicks, imaginary friends, insanity/mania, insects/bugs, insomnia

J- Jump scares (unexpected noises ....)

K- Knives, krakens, Krampus

L- Labyrinths/mazes (corn, topiary ...), leeches, leprechauns, levitation, locked-in syndrome

M- Mad scientists/doctors, magicians/illusionists, mannequins, masquerades, mirrors, monsters, mummies, mutations

N- Needles, nightfall, nightmares

O- Obsession/fanaticism, occult, ossuaries, oubliettes, Ouija boards

P- Paranoia, paranormal abilities (telekinesis ...), parasites, peeping Toms, pigs, pipe organs, piranha, pits/fissures, plagues/diseases, psychosis, puppets/marionettes, purgatory, pyromania

Q- Quicksand

R- Radiation/nuclear disaster, reincarnation, religious orders (monks, nuns ...), rodents, Russian roulette

S- Sacrilege, scalpals/razors, scarecrows, scorpions, seances, serial killers, shadows, sharks, skeletons/skulls, skin-changers, sleepwalking, space, spiders, spiritualists/mediums, snakes, stalkers, submarines, supernatural objects (monkey's paws, amulets, books, photographs ...), supervillains, swamps/bogs

T- Tarot cards, taxidermized animals, thunderstorms/thunder/lightning, tommyknockers, tornadoes, torture

U- Uncanny zone

V- Vampires, ventriloquist dummies, volcanoes/lava, voodoo, voodoo dolls, vultures

W- Wax dummies/wax museums, wells, wendigos, werewolves, witchdoctors, witches/warlocks, worms

Z- Zombies

10 Two-Sentence Horror Stories

 

In honor of Halloween, I offer 10 horror stories in two sentences or less.

1. My husband and two small children died in a mysterious fire.  No matter how many new clothes I buy, no matter how many times I shower, strangers still ask me why I smell like smoke.
2. Sometimes, through the baby monitor in the middle of the night, I can hear my identical twin daughters talking excitedly to each other in their special “twin language.”  If only one of the twins hadn’t been stillborn.
3. “Daddy fly!” my daughter gaily exclaims, as she pushes me over the edge of the cliff.
4. I keep getting texts from my daughter, asking me to pick her up from school.  She died two weeks ago in a school bus crash.
5. I’m grateful for my transplanted eye, don’t get me wrong. But I’ve also learned to keep it closed when driving; otherwise I keep seeing a gigantic tractor-trailer skidding out of control towards my car.
6. My daughter has started talking in her sleep.   According to the professors at the local university who have listened to the tapes, she’s speaking ancient Sumarian.
7. I woke up to the sensation of a dog jumping into my bed and lying down next to me.  I wish I had a dog.
8. One day I finally asked by my usually hyper-responsible teenage daughter why she’s so often late getting ready for school in the morning.  “The grey lady who comes into my room at nights sometimes hides my things,” she explains, apologetically.
9. Don’t you hate it when you unplug your phone and it rings anyway?
10. I realize everyone’s looking at me in horror, but I don’t see what the big deal is.  Thanks to modern medicine, pretty much anything can be reattached these days.

A Thousand Words - The Halloween Tree

The Halloween Tree, by Ray Bradbury

 Illustration by Joseph Mugnaini.

 

This simple woodcut picture gave me chills when I was a little girl.  Still does.

Halloween Horror-ible Film Festival

 

The idea behind the HHFF (Halloween Horror-able Film Fest) is to gather friends together to enjoy (and heckle) really, really bad horror movies.   

Since we don't happen to have a movie theater in our house, we set up a make-shift movie studio in our biggest room by attaching a DVD-playing laptop to a desktop projector (iPod speakers to amplify the sound) and projecting the picture onto a huge sheet.  Bet it would be even more fun to project it onto one of those blow-up outdoor movie screens you can rent these days! 

Without further ado, here's a list of suitable movies (with food accompaniment) to inspire your event.  May I respectfully suggest choosing one from each category?

Genuine attempts at horror that went terribly, terribly wrong:

1. Plan 9 From Outer Space.  "Future Events such as these will impact your future!" intones the narrator ... and it just gets better from there!  Watch as scenes mysteriously alternate between daylight and nighttime; enjoy as aliens arrive in spaceships that clearly dangle from strings (their cockpit just as clearly constructed from chairs turned backwards and a shower curtain); wonder at cardboard gravestones that sway everytime someone walks by them; ponder the fear inspired by zombies that move at a rate slower than geologic time.  Best of all, admire the way that the director, undetered by the death of his film's star, substitutes his dentist (why not his barber? we'll never know) by the clever contrivance of having the guy hold a cape over his face everytime he appears in a scene.  So bad and yet so good!  [For hors devours, serve devilled egg zombie eyes]

Deliberately campy horror movies that went wonderfully right

1. Attack of the Killer Tomatoes.  "That's not blood, that's ... tomato juice!"  Rarely has a more improbable line been spoken in movie history.  By the way, the movie really is about mutant killer tomatoes, and was filmed in the 1970s as a parody of B horror movies in general.  My favorite scene is when a school of tomatoes attack a swimmer, a la Jaws.  Wait - it's when our heroes, intent upon saving the world, infiltrate the bad guys disguised as giant killer tomatoes.  No, wait - it's when the tomato rises out of the trash compactor and kills the woman.  Drat!  I just can't decide - the whole movie is just so memorable!  [For hors devours, serve - what else? - hamburger sliders and french fries with ketchup!]
2. Army of Darkness.  An intentional send-up of both the horror and action/fantasy genres that succeeds brilliantly at both. The movie stars legendary B-actor Bruce Campbell as a mild-mannered S-Mart clerk who is transported back in time to a medieval kingdom where, in the process of fighting an army of the dead and retrieving a magic book, he becomes a bad-ass action hero.  The plot is wholly preposterous, the genre references outrageously campy, the dialog clever and hilarious, but it's the delightfully cheesy special effects that will leave you cheering and wanting more! [For hors devours, serve thigh bones made out of meringue]

Classic monster movies

1. Godzilla vs. King Kong. Because what could possibly be better than watching a monster destroy Tokyo? Answer: watching TWO monsters destroy Tokyo! Guaranteed to stimulate howls of disbelief and lots of thoroughly enjoyable heckling. [For hors devours, serve sushi and bananas]

Pastiches and homages

1. Abbott & Costello Meet Frankenstein. Actually, this is a monster trifecta, in which Dracula (played by Bela Lugosi) is trying to resurrect Frankenstein's monster using Costello's brain, but the Wolfman (played by Lon Chaney) is trying to stop them. It's worth noting that Quentin Tarantino loves this movie and cites it as one of the great examples of a mixed genre film. However, I don't feel that this prevents me from adding to to my list of really awful horror movies. [Fors hors devours, serve anything that can be skewered with a wooden stake (toothpick or bamboo stick)]

Children's Halloween Party

My children always thought it was grossly unfair that they only got to wear their costumes Halloween. I thought so too, so one October I invited a bunch of their friends over for an impromptu Halloween costume party. It was such a hit, it became an annual event. While the games have gotten more creative as the years have passed, the essential appeal of the party remains unchanged: everyone gets to wear costumes and indulge in sanctioned mayhem! As such, I strongly recommend that this particular party be hosted out of doors. You could probably adapt most of the games for indoors, but do you really want a bunch of highly excited princesses, vampires and Sponge Bobs running amok inside your house?

1. INVITATIONS. Use whatever invitations you like, but make sure they include the following "guidance": (1) dress appropriately for the weather, (2) costumes should allow guests to move (and run) freely; (3) no face makeup (it will come off during "Dunking for Apples". If costumes don't lend themselves to movement, then encourage the kids to wear them to the party anyway, so that they can show them off, but to have an acceptable layer of clothing on underneath so that the costume can be peeled away and safely stored until the end of the party.
2. DECORATIONS.  Whatever Halloween decorations you have around the house will do!  We like to dangle cheesecloth ghosts and minature carved pumpkins from tree limbs.  Orange and black balloons add a festive touch.  Use halloween-themed plates/cups/napkins from any party store.
3. PRIZES.  Fill a bag with novelty halloween items: plastic skeletons, glow in the dark spiders, glow sticks, etc.  After each game, the winner(s) has to reach into the bag and, without looking, choose a gift by feel.  I recommend that you hand out gift bags in advance so the kids can store their prizes in them throughout the party.  There's no need to fill the goodie bags in advance - each game will have multiple winners, ensuring that every child leaves with plenty of prizes and candy by the end of the day.
4. THEME.  GAME #1_ZOMBIES IN THE GRAVEYARD.  As your guests arrive, start off with a few rounds of Zombies in the Graveyard - a spookier version of musical chairs.  Instead of chairs, create "tombstones" out of construction paper.  (Have fun cutting them out in different shapes & embellishing them with funny epitaphs.)  Set out tombstones in a large circle, with one less tombstone than there are guests.  Start a spooky music CD.  When the music stops, whoever isn't standing on a "tombstone" is eliminated.  Keep going until only one guest is left.  To add to the atmosphere, instruct the kids that they need to lurch around the tombstones with their arms held out in front of them, a la Frankenstein's monster, groaning and moaning as the mood strikes them.
5. GAME #2_MUMMY WRAPPING.  For this game you will need lots of toilet paper!  Divide the guests into teams of 2.  At "go!", one teammate attempts to completely wrap the other in toilet paper.  The first team to achieve "total mummification" (no body parts showing) wins.  Plan to play this game at least twice, as each kid will want an opportunity to be wrapped!
6. GAME #3_PUMPKIN THIEVES.  Setup: with masking tape, divide your room or yard in half, and set off a back corner on each side to serve as a "pumpkin patch" (big enough for approx 10 pumkins).  Place 5 small pumpkins in each patch. Also outline a "jail" at one ed of the center line, big enough to hold 4-5 kids.  Divide the guests into 2 teams and make sure they can identify each other easily.  ("Black team" can sport black crepe paper belts; "orange team" can sport orange crepe paper belts; or you can use black/orange pastic necklaces or leis from a party store.)  Objective: each team tries to steal the other' pumpkins adn carry them off to their own pumpkin patches.  Pumpkins can be acquired by either(1) stealing them from the opponent's pumpkin patch; or (2) tagging a player who is carrying a pumpkin.  As long as players remain on their own "side" they can't be tagged by the opposing team.  But once they venture into enemy territory (cross the center line), they are fair game.  When/if tagged, they must surrender their pumpkin and go directly to jail, from which they can only be rescued by being tagged by a teammate carrying a pumpkin.  The winner is the first team to collect all 10 pumpkins. 
7. GAME #4_DUNKING FOR APPLES.  You know this one!  Fill a tub with water.  Float ~10 apples in the water.  Guests kneel in front of the tub with their hands behind their backs and try to "catch" an apple using only their teeth.  (TIP: allowing folks to kneel on a towel, and providing extra towels for folks to dry off afterwards, will make this game MUCH more pleasant!)  Limit each turn to 60secs.  Winners are those who succeed in catching an apple.
8. GAME #5_MONSTER MASH.  In advance of the party, find an old board or door and paint a life-sized ghost on it.  Nail or otherwise secure it to a tree trunk.  (It WILL fall if it's not secured.)  Use masking tape to lay out a line ~10ft away.  Place apples in a container next to the line.  Have guests take turns pitching apples at the ghost.  Score 3pts for hitting the face, 2pts for hitting any other party of the ghost, or 1pt for hiting the board.  Go through the line three times, so everyone gets three throws.  The person with the most points wins.  NOTE: This is most definitely an outside game!  A big part of the fun is watching the apples "splat!" as they hit the board!
9. GAME #6_GHOSTBUSTERS.  Inflate 10 white balloons and 10 orange balloons. Before the party (or as a gathering activity), use indelible markers to draw spooky faces on the balloons.  Divide the guests into 2 teams.  At "go!", each team has to launch their balloons in the air and keep them airborne for as long as possible.  The first team to have all their balloons touch the ground loses.  
10. GAME #7_PUMPKIN BOWLING.  This is a great activity if you have a hill for it!  You'll need several (4-5) medium sized pumpkins and 6 partially full water bottles.  At the bottom of the hill, set up the water bottles in a classic bowling triangle.  (If they are too full they won't fall over, but if they're too empty they won't stand up, so do some experimenting first to determine the right amount of water to leave in the bottles.) Guests at the top of the hill take turns rolling the pumpkins down the hill in an attempt to knock down as many bottles as possible.  The guest with the most cumulative points wins.  (This activity is hard on the pumpkins, so that's why I recommend having plenty of backups on hand!)
11. GAME #8_POPCORN RELAY RACE.  For this game you'll need 4 buckets, 2 cups, and a lot of popcorn.  Separate the guests into two teams.  Establish a starting line.  Fill 2 buckets with popcorn and place them approx ~15ft away.  Leave the other buckets (empty) at the "starting line".  Each team gets 1 cup.  Object of the game is to transport the popcorn from one bucket to the other, one cup at a time, relay-race style.  Winner is the team that fills their bucket first. 
12. FOOD.  Offer a buffet of spooky treats, including bones (made out of piped meringue), fingers with blood dipping sauce (mini-franks with a side of catsup), eyeballs (green grapes), brains (popcorn), blood punch (any red punch wll do), and jellied spiders (squares of green jello containing gummy spiders).
13. GAME #9_PINIATA.  Remember those prize bags you handed out earlier?  Have the kids retrieve them and then line them up, youngest to oldest (to increase odds that everyone will get at least one swing before the piniata drops its load).  If especially young kids are going to participate in this activity, we always make sure they have a parental "minder" who makes sure they aren't squashed in the ensuing mayhem and who also ensures that they get their fair share of the loot!

10 Halloween Costumes Using a Lab Coat

For about a decade there (college and beyond), October was sure to include one or more invitations to costume parties.  Being strapped for cash, I stopped by a thrift store and picked up a doctor's coat ... then proceeded to use it in new and different ways each year thereafter.  Here are some of my favorites:

1. Dr. Feelgood/Dr. Ruth/Sigmund Freud.  Fill the pockets with random kitchen implements and let people use their imagination.
2. Proctologist.  Random kitchen implements also work for this one.  Add gloves.
3. Spin Doctor.  Pin phrases such as the following to your coat: "The economy is much stronger than it was this time last year," "We only go to Hooters for the great chicken wings," and, of course, the famous/infamous "I never had sex with that woman."
4. Dr. Seuss.  Accessorize with a "Cat in the Hat" hat and insist on answering everyone's questions in verse.
5. Dr. Doolittle.  Stuff your pockets with stuffed animals and talk to them.
6. Dr. Jekyll.  Accessorize with a fright mask and a flask containing dry ice.
7. Mad Scientist (generic)/Dr. Frankenstein.  Tease your hair until it stands on end and smear your coat and face with ash, as if you recently survived an explosion.  Stuff your pockets with testtubes and bottles of odd ingredients. Look crazy.
8. The Surgeon General of the U.S.  Fill your pockets with cigarette, green leaves in plastic baggies, fast food wrappers, dirty needles, condoms, etc.  Give advice.
9. Madame Curie.  Smear your face, hands and coat with paint that glows in the dark.
10. Nikolas Tesla.  String your coat with Christmas lights, powered by a battery pack in one pocket.  Tease your hair until it stands on end for that "I've been playing with electricity" look.