Ultimate Route 66 Scavenger Hunt (or bingo list)!

Wanted to download a quick Route 66 scavenger hunt for a family about to make the trip. 

Come to discover, however, that all of the lists available online are either to general ("red car") - quickly completed in the first few miles - or too specific ("Blue Whale of Catoosa") - more like a passport than a scavenger hunt. (And also a guaranteed exercise in frustration if you aren't planning on visiting every site on the list.)

So I quickly threw together the following list of eclectic, non-specific sites and experiences that families are likely to encounter along the route. Some are serious, some are tongue-in-cheek ... but all should be eminently discoverable along the way, for those willing to look up from their phones long enough to take in the sights. 

My gift to you! Please feel free to copy and paste this into whatever format works for your family.

RELATED TO HISTORY OF THE U.S.
·         Reference to Abraham Lincoln
·         Reference to Will Rogers
·         Reference to Dust Bowl
·         Someplace listed on the National Register of Historic Places
·         Vintage movie theater
·         Vintage gas station
·         Drive-in movie theater
·         Diner with jukebox and/or soda fountain
·         Military installation
·         Prison or jail
·         Ghost town
·         Cave
·         Huge American flag
·         Barn with painted advertisement
·         Windmill
·         Covered bridge
·         National park
·         State park
·         Saguaro cactus
·         Petrified wood
RELATED TO HISTORY OF THE ROUTE
·         Reference to “The Mother Road”
·         The song “Get Your Kicks on Rt 66”
·         Original, paved stretch of Rt 66
·         Original, cement stretch of Rt 66
·         Route 66 emblem painted on road
·         Map of Route 66 painted on window or wall
·         Route 66 museum
·         Route 66 mural
·         Drive-thru Route 66 sign
·         Burma-Shave signs
RELATED TO HOTELS & SHOPPING
·         Vintage motel (open since >1950s)
·         Neon motel sign advertising Color TV and/or air conditioning
·         Hotel room with sunlamp and/or rotary phone
·         Abandoned motel
·         Mom & pop gift store
·         Trading post
·         Indian casino
·         Route 66 snow globe
RELATED TO PLANES, TRAINS & AUTOMOBILES
·         Restored vintage car
·         Unrestored vintage car
·         Vintage car museum
·         Silver stream trailer
·         Train with over 50 cars
·         Directional sign with more than 5 arrows
·         Vintage police car or fire truck
·         Railroad museum
·         Hot air balloon
·         Car on a pole
·         Party of 10+ motorcycles doing the route
RELATED TO POPULAR CULTURE
·         Elvis statue or cutout
·         Marilyn Monroe statue or cutout
·         James Dean statue or cutout
·         Betty Boop statue or cutout
·         Reference to the movie “Cars”
·         Reference to the movie "Blues Brothers"
·         Reference to Woodie Guthrie
·         Reference to John Wayne
KITSCH & KIDS
·         Giant Muffler Man
·         "World’s largest _____"
·         "World’s smallest _____"
·         Pet-a-pet farm
·         Oversized plaster animal
·         Drug store children’s ride
·         Giant plaster dinosaur
·         Covered wagon
·         Roller coaster
·         Novelty museum
·         Real cowboy on a horse
·         Live buffalo
·         Cow crossing the road
·         Novelty water tower
·         Wall of license plates
·         Wall of stickers
·         Wall of old tin signs
·         Folk art installation
·         Restaurant with “Route 66” in the name
·         “_________ Hall of Fame”
·         UFO (representation or real!)

80+ Questions to Ask Your Grandparents & Parents before it's too late

My grandparents were not forthcoming about their life stories. I'm not sure why. I imagine it may have had something to do with their personalities (they were private, soft-spoken people), my age (they may have assumed I was too young to be interested), avoidance (there may have been things they didn't want to remember - they lived through some hard times), or perhaps it merely had to do with the social "rules" of their generation, a generation that tended to be more reticent about sharing their memories with others. 

Since they passed, I've deeply regretted that I wasn't more proactive about asking them about their world, their lives, their memories. The conversations might have been a bit awkward - it's even possible that they might have declined to participate entirely - but I sure wish I'd tried.

Now that my parents are aging, I'm realizing I have another chance. To this end, I've crafted a list of questions that I plan to introduce over the course of the next year - not all at once, but in the course of ordinary conversation, as I can work the questions in. There are a lot of lists like this out on the internet, which I've consulted in the course of compiling this, but you'll probably notice mine is a deal longer, and a bit more detailed. Why? Because my list is designed to dig a level deeper than superficial "What are your happiest memories"-type questions to extract deeper levels of reflection and understanding. 

To anyone else out there in the same boat - use these questions, don't use these questions: just take the time, while you still have it, to think about the conversations you'd like to have, those questions about family you always meant to ask, those memories you'd always hoped to share.

QUESTIONS ABOUT YOUR RELATIVES

1. Tell me about your maternal grandparents. Where did they live over the course of their lives? Who were their siblings? What were their personalities  like (strengths & weaknesses)? What did they do for a living? What were their hobbies/interests/gifts? 

2. How did the maternal side of your family end up in the US? Where did they come from? Why did they leave? Where did they settle? 

3. What role did your maternal grandparents play in your life? 

4. Tell me about your paternal grandparents. Where did they live over the course of their lives? Who were their siblings? What were their personalities  like (strengths & weaknesses)? What did they do for a living? What were their hobbies/interests/gifts? 

5. How did the paternal side of your family end up in the US? Where did they come from? Why did they leave? Where did they settle? 

6. What role did your paternal grandparents play in your life? 

7. Tell me about your maternal aunts & uncles. Where did they live over the course of their lives? What were their jobs? What were their personalities  like (strengths & weaknesses)? What did they do for a living? What were their hobbies/interests/gifts? 

8. What role did your maternal aunts & uncles play in your life? 

9. Tell me about your paternal aunts & uncles. Where did they live over the course of their lives? What were their jobs? What were their personalities  like (strengths & weaknesses)? What did they do for a living? What were their hobbies/interests/gifts?

10. What role did your paternal aunts & uncles play in your life? 

11. Tell me about your mom/dad. Where did they live over the course of their lives? What were their jobs? What were their personalities like (strengths & weaknesses)? What did they do for a living? What were their hobbies/interests/gifts? 

12. Tell me about brothers/sisters. What were their personalities  like (strengths & weaknesses)? What were their interests? What were their jobs? Tell about your relationship with them. Who did they marry, and what do you remember most about their married lives? 

13. Tell me about your cousins. What do you remember about them, and what role did they play in your life? 

14. Did anyone in the family serve in the military? Tell what you know about their service. 

15. Did your family have any customs or traditions related to the country of their origin? 

16. Tell me about any people who were important in your family's life but weren't necessarily relatives

QUESTIONS ABOUT YOUR LIFE (BEFORE MARRIAGE)

1. Where were you born? What do you remember about your first house/town?

2. What other places did you live before you got married? What are your memories of each? (Do you have specific addresses?)

2. What is your earliest memory?

3. What were some of your hobbies/favorite things when you were a child? (toys, games, hobbies, foods, smells ....)

4. What was your parents' parenting philosophy? Were they easy on you? strict? Did they treat you differently from your bothers/sisters? 

5. What are your personal religious beliefs and traditions? The religious beliefs and traditions of your family? 

6. What values did your parents deliberately instill in you? What values did they inadvertently instill in you?

7. What did you want to be when you grew up?

8. Which "best friends" do you remember?  What did you get up to? What did you love about them? 

9. Tell about any especially beloved pets you had

10. How did your family celebrate Christmas? Easter? Halloween?

11. Who took care of you as a child? Did you go to kindergarten/preschool? What was your personality like back then? What memories do you have? 

12. Where did you go to elementary school? What was your personality like back then? What memories do you have? 

13. Where did you go to middle school? What was your personality like back then? What memories do you have?

14. Where did you go to high school? What was your personality like back then? What memories do you have? 

15. Where did you go to college? What was your personality like back then? What memories do you have? 

16. Where did you go to grad school? What was your personality like back then? What memories do you have? 

17. What vacations did your family take? What do you remember about them? 

18. What jobs did before you got married?

QUESTIONS ABOUT YOUR LOVE LIFE

1. Who was your first love?

2. Before getting married, did you have any other serious romantic relationships? What did you learn about love from these relationships?

3. How did you meet your spouse? 

4. What made you fall in love? What did you most admire about each other? 

5. Tell the story of how you got engaged

6. Tell me about your wedding - where? when? who was there? What are your favorite memories?

7. What marital challenges did you need to navigate early in your married life? (money? family? traditions? foods? housekeeping responsibilities?)

8. Any advice about love & relationships that you want to pass on? 

QUESTIONS ABOUT YOUR LIFE (BEFORE CHILDREN)

1. Where did you live? 

2. Would you characterize yourselves as poor, getting by, or wealthy?

3. What jobs did you have during your married life? What do you remember about each? 

4. What did you guys enjoy doing before you had children?

5. What vacations did you take before you had children? 

QUESTIONS ABOUT BEING PARENTS!

1. When did you find out you were pregnant with me? How did you handle the news?

2. What do you remember about your pregnancy?

3. Tell me about the day I was born (where, when, how ...)

4. What was your parenting philosophy?

5. What values did you feel like it was important for you to instill in your children? 

6. What were the hardest things about parenthood? The most unexpected things about parenthood? The coolest things about parenthood?

7. As parents, what did you do best? What did you get right? 

8. As parents, what do you wish you could go back in time and do differently? 

QUESTIONS ABOUT MY LIFE (BIRTH TO 18)

1. Where are all the places we lived before I turned 18? 

2. What was my personality as a baby? As a child? 

3. Who was my first best friends? 

4. What vacations did we take as a family?

5. What are some things about my childhood that I may not know? 

MEMORIES OF A LIFE WELL-LIVED

1. What world events do you remember witnessing? Where were you, and how did they impact you? 

2. How has technology changed since you were a child? Which technologies have changed your life most meaningfully? 

3. In what ways is the world a better place than when you were a child? What should current generations be celebrating? 

4. In what ways is the world a worse place than when you were a child? What could current generations be aspiring to? 

5. Did you have any "heroes" growing up? Who do you most admire, and why? 

6. What's the kindest thing anyone ever did for you? 

7. What's the best advice anyone ever gave you? 

8. What professional accomplishments are you most proud of? 

9. What personal accomplishments are you most proud of? 

10. What are some interesting things about you that people may not know?

11. What physical possessions are most important to you, and why? 

12. What's your happy place? 

REFLECTIONS/LIFE WISDOM

1. Compare what you wanted to be when you grew up with what you actually became when you grew up? How did things work out? 

2. How has your personality changed since you were a child? What would you characterize as your greatest strengths/weaknesses then vs. now?

3. Which relationships/experiences have had the most impact on shaping who you've become as a person? 

6: What are you most thankful for? What are the best decisions you ever made? 

8. What are the most important lessons you've learned about life? What wisdom/insights would you share with future generations? 

9. Let's talk about hard things: What has been the biggest source of stress in your life? 

10. What were some of the most difficult challenges you had to face, and how did you deal with them? What did you learn from them?  

11. What are some things that never happened for you? Things you wish you'd had the courage, or time, or opportunity to do? 

12. What are the hardest life lessons you ever learned?

13. Any secrets you've never told anyone? What are people going to learn about you after you've passed? 

14. What would you like to be remembered for? What do you want the mentioned in your obituary? 

15. What physical possessions would you like to be preserved by your heirs, and why?

100 Illogical TV and Movie Tropes: Hollywood and the Willing Suspension of Disbelief

There’s an unwritten compact between Hollywood writers and audiences – that, in return for being entertained, we viewers will agree to forgive certain logical inconsistencies, scientific improbabilities, and narrative contortions, a process known as ‘willing suspension of disbelief.’  Some of these logical liberties are arguably justified: omissions of tedious detail in the cause of creating a more efficient entertainment experience (we're all grateful to skip the small talk); esthetic enhancements in the cause of creating a more attractive version of reality (no one wants to see what those actresses really look like when they wake up). But many of them are, frankly, lazy shortcuts that we've allowed the writers to get away with for so long now, we've simply stopped processing how absurd they are.  

I thought it might be fun to call out some of the more obvious examples. Imagine my surprise when I started counting and realized I was up to 100! I'm not sure whether to interpret this as evidence that we viewers are extremely charitable, or extremely gullible.

"MY TV LIFE" TROPES

1. When female characters wake up in the morning with perfect hair and makeup – not an eye booger or face crease in sight.
2. When the lovers wake up the next morning wearing PJs. We’re supposed to believe that, after a night of hot love-making, they decided to get redressed?
3. When the female MC steps into the shower and tilts her face into the water. As if any human being would willingly invite pelting water to gush into their eyes, noses, and ears.
4. When the MC hangs up the phone without saying goodbye. So rude!
5. When the mom fixes a full breakfast *on a weekday* and no one bothers to eat it – disregarding the fact that no mom has time to make a full breakfast on a workday, and that any mom worth the name would let her family get away with that kind of disrespect!
6. When the MCs agree to meet at a restaurant, order their food, then finish their conversation and walk away, their plates untouched.
7. When the MC is able to flag down a taxi without having to wait. Even funnier if it’s raining!
8. When the MC is driving through a busy city during rush hour, but still manages to find a parking spot right in front of their destination.
9. When the person driving the car barely looks at the road because they’re so engaged in conversation with their passenger.
10. When the MC shows up with a hangover, but the symptoms barely last no longer than the mandatory hangover joke.
11. When every bag of groceries includes either a loaf of French bread or a bouquet of fresh flowers peaking out the top.
12. When the room is filled with candles (in either a creepy or romantic way) – as if anyone would take the time to light 100 candles, and half of them wouldn’t be immediately extinguished by  random drafts. 
13. When characters live in apartments or houses that they couldn’t possibly afford
14. When the MC suddenly reveals that they are able to tango like a house dancer straight off the set of Dancing With the Stars.
15. When the MC has a child but never seems to have to worry about child care.

NARRATIVE CONVENIENCE TROPES

1. When everyone’s at home all day because, besides the MC, no one else actually seems to have a job.
2. When the MC is carrying a suitcase, briefcase, or cup of coffee that is – judging by the way the object reacts to gravity - clearly empty. (Corollary: when the baddies make off with bags of gold bars, seemingly unbothered by the fact that each one weighs 25lbs.)
3. When the MC suddenly reveals that they conveniently speak some exotic language – Arabic, Russian, or sign language.
4. When the MC turns on the TV just in time to catch the precise news story they need to see. (Alternatively, they walk into the restaurant just as the TV over the bar is airing the relevant news story.)
5. When someone throws a punch in a bar and suddenly everyone in the bar decides to engage in the brawl. Fistfights, unlike yawning, aren’t actually contagious. 
6. When people hide things under the floorboards. First of all, where’s the carpeting? Second of all, floorboards not attached to underlying trusses would squeak like a mother, giving their presence away
7. When the intelligence officers with top secret clearances discuss their cases over drinks at the public bar. Holy Security Breach, Batman!
8. When the MC dives into a lake or pond and has no trouble seeing through the water.
9. When people on the brink of death use their final breaths to answer the detective’s questions rather than, you know, asking them to tell their moms that they loved them.
10. When the bomb is diffused with one second remaining. Enough said.  (Honorable mention: when the bomb can only be defused by cutting ONE wire, but not the others. In the real world, cutting ALL the wires is by far he most reliable way to stop a bomb from detonating!
11. When the MC, though vastly outnumbered, manages to win the fight because the villains inexplicably decided to attack them one at a time.
12. When the female MCs emerge from the fray (pursuit, struggle, field hospital, etc.) with her makeup and hair immaculate.
13. When the MCs in the romance comedy are divided by a rift that could be have been mended by a single conversation.
14. When characters insist “there’s no time to explain!” when there’s clearly enough time to explain.
15. When the villain’s henchmen burst into the room and start shooting, giving absolutely no thought to their own safety. Even evil henchman are not immune from the imperative for self-preservation.

CRIME SHOW TROPES

1. When the forensic computers make DNA or facial matches within the first minute of searching.
2. When the forensic IT guy enhances the blurry photo to create a crystal-clear image. Computers are good, but they can’t “enhance” data that doesn’t exist.  
3. When the psychotic killer decorates their room in photos, newspaper articles, and random ephemera, all connected by bits of string. Is there some sort of standard home decorating manual that all psychotic killers are required to consult?
4. When the detectives walk up to the house they can’t legally enter, only to find the door conveniently ajar.
5. When people pop open doors by taking a running start and hitting them with their shoulder. Real doors laugh at us for believing this would work.
6. When the detectives decide to explore that empty warehouse or suspicious apartment using their flashlights, choosing to ignore the conveniently-located light switches by the door
7. Practically everything the movies tell us about knocking people unconscious! The process is unreliable (just hitting someone on the head doesn’t guarantee they’ll drop unconscious), inefficient (even boxers are rarely knocked unconscious for more than 10 seconds), and incredibly harmful …. If an actual person were to be hit on the head as many times as your average fictional detective, they’d be suffering from CTE and dementia by the end of the first season. 
8. When people who have just been informed that their loved ones are dead proceed to calmly answer the detective’s questions. Grief = instantly processed and disposed of!  
9. When the television news shows feature parents begging for help returning their missing loved ones. News programs don’t have that kind of time (unless you’re some sort of celebrity).
10. When the bad guys dig holes for burying their loot or bodies. First of all, it’s incredibly grueling work and takes forever. Second of all, no roots and rocks – seriously?
11. When female detectives show up wearing low-cut blouses, tight skirts, and high heels. Like any actual female detective wants to be worrying about whether their boobs are going to pop out of the top of their tank top during a pursuit.
12. When the person being tortured for information refuses to answer even the questions that, frankly, aren’t that important. 
13. When the detective avoids asking questions that could actually, you know, help solve the crime - because if he/she did, the show would end too soon.
14. When the character has an earpiece in their ear so that they can parrot what they’re being told to say by another character. Can you imagine how awkward an actual conversation conducted in this fashion would hit? 
15. When characters meant to be “inconspicuous” wear earpieces with clearly visible cords – and then spend the entire scene whispering to the people who are listening in, as if that’s not going to immediately arouse suspicion.
16. When the MCs evade being shot by hiding behind car doors. As the Mythbusters have memorably proved, doors can slow bullets, but they don’t stop them
17. When the bad guys shoot into cars or houses, but always waist-high so that the MCs can evade the bullets by simply hugging the floor
18. When the baddies reach up and rip off their face, disclosing that they’ve been wearing a mask the whole time. This one has to amuse the Hollywood makeup artists who spend hours applying prosthetics – “you mean, all we had to do was just create a mask?”  
19. When one character is dabbing at the wound of another without actually touching the “blood,” so that the makeup people don’t have to reapply it in the event of another take.
20. When the mystery is solved by the villain accidentally revealing that they know something about the crime that wasn’t disclosed. Truly the laziest of all plot devices.
21. When a minor characters announces that they know who the murderer is, but they’re going to wait until later to reveal what they know, leaving plenty of time for the murderer to bump them off
22. When the detective gathers all the suspects at the scene of the crime to reveal the villain. Can you imagine a detective attempting this in real life?
23. When the prosecutor in the trial goads the defendant into confessing his guilt while on the witness stand, as the defendant’s attorney does nothing to intercede.

PURSUIT TROPES

1. When the investigators shout “FBI!” from across the road, giving their quarry time to flee.  You know what might work better? Waiting until you’re within arm’s reach before identifying yourselves.
2. When the investigators commandeer a car for the big chase scene, and the car owners willingly step aside with nothing more than a mildly irritated “hey …!” Pretty sure 99.9% of actual car owners would immediately roll up their window, give you the finger, and drive away.
3. When the protagonist flees into the woods but is immediately tracked down by the villain, because apparently all villains possess the tracking skills of aboriginals.
4. When the MC, despite fleeing at top speed, is unable to outrun the villain/monster that is pursuing them at a slow amble
5. When the protagonist insists on fleeing the villain along well-paved roads rather than darting off into the surrounding buildings or woods.
6. When it doesn’t occur to folks fleeing trains to just, you know, step off the side of the tracks.
7. When the MC realizes they’re being followed by a strange car and they decide the best strategy is to drive faster – versus, say, driving straight to the nearest heavily populated area or police station.
8. High speed car chases – especially the ones where the cops place their vehicles in the path of the oncoming villains. No police budget extends to replacing that many cars!
9. When the car runs into a telephone pole and explodes. Hollywood vastly overrepresents the risk of cars exploding on impact.
10. When the MC travels through roomy, clean air ducts. Have you ever seen an actual air duct? Think narrow, filthy, and entirely incapable of supporting the weight of a human. (Plus, you’d make a tremendous amount of noise moving through them – they creak when AIR passes them, for goodness’ sake!)
11. When dudes dressed in full suits pursue their suspects across town in blazing hot weather without breaking a sweat. (We’re talking about you, Miami Vice!) 
12. When people plummet from upper story windows, only to fall into convenient dumpsters or trash trucks. And forget canopies breaking anyone’s fall – those weathered strips of fabric supported by flimsy metal rails wouldn’t break a cat’s fall
13. When the couple holds hands as they flee from danger.  A romantic notion, spoiled by the fact that it’s virtually impossible to gain any sort of speed without pumping your arms as you run, so basically they’re just holding each other back.
14. When folks jump into water from staggering heights and survive the fall. In real life, water molecules can’t displace that quickly, so the impact is similar to hitting concrete.

HORROR TROPES

1. When the MC begins to suspect they’re sharing a house with a malevolent spirit yet they decide to stay. One word: “hotel.”
2. When the MC hears a sound downstairs and creeps down to check it out instead of calling the police, as any sensible person would do.
3. When the monster, moving at a slow ramble, manages to overtake the MC who is fleeing at top speed
4. When the thunderstorm in the background is generating lightning at a rate that would make a Tesla coil blush.
5. When there’s an unknown murderer on the loose, but that one guys decides to split off from the rest of the group because “they can take care of themselves.” Humans are zebras – we instinctively gather in herds when danger approaches, in hopes that the murderer ends up picking someone else to prey on.

SCI-FI TROPES

1. When sound travels through space, undaunted by the fact that sound waves can’t actually move through a vacuum.
2. Also at the risk of stating the obvious – when spaceships travel faster than the speed of light. Unless we’re grossly misunderstanding the way the universe works, this remains a physical impossible.
3. Dogfights in space! This one kills my dad, an engineer who understands (as every middle schooler ought likewise to do) that there is no gravity or friction in space, and therefore no need for banking or other aerodynamic maneuvers.
4. When explosions in space are accompanied by lingering fireballs or smoke, undaunted by the reality that there’s no oxygen in space. In reality, an explosion in space would appear as a split-second flash of light following by an almost instantaneous dispersion of debris.
5. When the aliens have huge eyes (an adaptation for low lighting), but emerge from spaceships that are bathed in brilliant light.
6. When spaceships dodge asteroids in space – asteroids that are, in actuality, separated by tens of thousands of miles.

MEDICAL TROPES

1. When characters with bullet wounds say “I’m okay – it’s just a flesh wound” before picking up where they left off. Are you freaking kidding me? The only acceptable response to being hit by a bullet is screaming in pain and demanding an ambulance.
2. When people slash their palms or arms to draw blood. For one thing, who slashes their arm when all they need are a few drops? Also, a perturbed wince doesn’t ever begin to reflect the amount of pain that such a slash would cause
3. When patients in the hospital dramatically rip out their IV lines and start getting dressed. Those IV lines don’t come out with a fight … and a whole lot of pain. 
4. When the main symptom of the MC’s terminal illness is an inconvenient cough.
5. When people burst through panes of glass with just a few scratches. Reality: most glass windows require tremendous force to break, and anyone bursting through them would immediately begin gushing blood from various slashed aortas
6. When the person treating the MC’s cuts dabs the area around the cut but not the cut itself, leaving the makeup undisturbed for potential retakes.
7. When people have in-depth discussions while out on a jog. No one actually talks when they’re jogging.
8. When the character rips the IV out of their arm without so much as a wince. Most people can’t rip tape off their hairy arm without crying out, much less ripping a needle out of their flesh at the same time.  
9. When the protagonist is wounded and having their wound cleaned – but the person delivering the first aid is merely dabbing at the periphery of the cut so as not to disturb the makeup
10. TV CPR performed at a glacially slow pace in order to allow for dialog. As anyone with first aid training will confirm, effective CPR is rapid and energetic, allowing little scope for anything but breathing heavily and grunting.
11. When the MC spends the previous scene downing drinks like a football player guzzling Gatorade, only to show up in the next scene completely sober.
12. When the MC pushes someone in a dispute, causing them to hit their head on something and instantly die. If skulls were that fragile, few of us would survive our childhoods.
13. When the person being treated for cancer has lost all their hair but still has their eyebrows and eyelashes

SCIENCE & TECH TROPES

1. When the IT specialist hacks into some super-secure network with just a few keystrokes.
2. When the MCs press a button that causes the elevator to abruptly halt. Has anyone ever actually encountered one of these buttons?
3. When the facial recognition technology is able to miraculously transform a pixelated blur into a crisp image.
4. When opening a file launches an avalanche of documents and photos that flash up on the screen all at once – all very dramatic, but can we all agree that’s not how opening a file works?
5. When the detectives find a cellphone at the scene of the crime and immediately start scrolling through the contents – because on TV, cellphone batteries apparently last forever
6. When the scientists invent or distill a vaccine/serum/cure in just a few days. If Covid taught us nothing, it taught us that shit like that takes months.
7. When there’s a thunderstorm raging outside the window and there’s a new flash of lightning every 2 seconds. Unquestionably dramatic, but meteorologically questionable.
8. When the MC is able to successfully land the plane/helicopter based solely on verbal directions relayed from the tower. Anyone who’s ever played a flight simulator game understands how laughable this is. 

ANACHRONISMS

1. When historical characters show up with clean hair and dazzling white teeth. Reality: bathing and teeth whitening weren’t big priorities back in the past.
2. When the “students” in the classroom or wandering about campus (high school, college) are clearly in their 20s or 30s
3. When the teacher is writing something on the chalkboard. Someone needs to update Hollywood writers that teachers stopped using blackboards at least a couple decades ago
4. When the teacher/professor dismisses the students by shouting out the homework as they leave.  (Honorable mention: When the teacher/professor dismisses the students by shouting out the homework as they leave, as if we live in a world without syllabuses.)

50+ Things You Won't Find in Schools Anymore

 

While the core content of education - reading, math, history, science, PE - hasn't changed as much as it probably should have done over the past 50 years, the way that we deliver instruction inevitably evolves. Forces such as 1:1 laptops in classrooms, changing cultural/societal norm, and an increased fear of liability  have transformed educational tools, classrooms, and expectations. 

Thought it would be fun to assemble a list of some of the transformations I've lived to witness!  

SCHOOL CAMPUSES

1. Dangerous playground equipment. Metal jungle gyms (constructed with exposed bolts) that towered into the sky. Merry-go-rounds that flung children aside like a wet dog shaking off rain. Once upon a time, kids used to not just collect playground scars, but show them off like war vets comparing wounds. Nothing like the rounded, padded playgrounds of today! 
2. Smoking lounges. Hard to believe that, once upon a time, schools not only condoned teen smoking, but accommodated it with designated areas that practically marketed smoking as “cool”
3. Desks with storage. Rendered obsolete by backpacks, much to the relief of teachers who were tired of removing moldy food and even nastier items.
4. Physical hall passes. Replaced by online apps that keep great data, but that require teachers to constantly interrupt their instruction to check students in and out of the classroom.
5. Lockers. No longer necessary in a world that has banished heavy textbooks and heavy winter coats - the kids just wear their hoodies year round.
6. Majorettes. Not sure if the disappearance of majorettes from school marching bands has more to do with baton twirling no longer being taught in PE, flags being easier to master than twirling, or a growing discomfort over showcasing prepubescent girls in skimpy attire.  
7. Retaining students who haven't met grade-level standards. Citing concerns over social-emotional issues, it's increasingly rare for students to be held back a grade. 
8. Summer school. Parents hate it and school districts increasingly can't afford it, so high schools are increasingly defaulting to "credit recovery" initiatives.
9. Corporal punishment. No one’s arguing that corporal punishment doesn’t belong in schools but, truthfully, thanks to litigious parents and lawsuit-fearing school districts, pretty much all consequences for misbehaviour are being gradually whittled away
10. Expulsion. Given the increased risk of parents filing lawsuits, schools have pretty much given up on expelling students except for the most egregious behaviours (ex: attempted murder) 
11. Snow days. Rendered obsolete by 1:1 technology that now allows students to access instruction from their homes – which is, frankly, just plain cruel.

CLASSROOM PRACTICES

1. Pledge of Allegiance. To be clear, many schools are still observing the pledge, but the days of students being compelled to stand and recite the pledge aloud have gone the way of other compulsory displays of performative values.
2. Formal attire for teachers. No one dresses up for work any more – not even teachers.
3. Grade books and attendance rosters.  All this has been moved to online apps, the better to facilitate real-time communication with parents, fellow teachers, and admins.
4. Grading with red pens. Eliminated out of concern that the color red might hit as too "judge-y," wounding student feelings.
5. Memorization. With information available at the touch of a screen, emphasis is shifting from developing automaticity (those mind-numbing skill drills!) to developing effective digital literacy skills.  
6. Homework. While the research is by no means clear, more and more schools are eliminating homework over concerns related to equity.
7. Grades for formative assessments (quizzes, classwork). The theory: that grades should only measure mastery, and therefore should only be based on tests/projects that measure mastery.
8. Giving zeroes. Another update being credited to concern over equity, many schools are making their lowest grade a 50.
9. Penalties for late work. Because if grades are supposed to measure mastery, they shouldn't be "tainted" by deductions that have nothing to do with mastery.
10. Pen & pencil work. 1:1 technology is rapidly making those once-ubiquitous worksheets obsolete. Nothing like the smell of ozone in the morning
11. Teacher autonomy. For a variety of cultural reasons, control of what happens in the classroom is gradually being wrested away from teachers, replaced by politically-approved curriculum, AI-powered learning games, and standardized tests.
12. Expecting sports coaches work in other content areas. Gone are the days when HS football and baseball coaches were also expected to teach history, shop, or drivers ed. Past time we
13. Birthday cupcakes. As awareness about childhood allergies spreads, more and more schools are banning student-provided sweets.

STUDENT EXPECTATIONS

1. Holding students accountable for attendance. Covid exacerbated a nation-wide outbreak of chronic absenteeism. Rather than try to restore order, however, schools have for the most part decided to give up enforcing mandatory attendance.
2. Studying for tests. An unintended consequence of mastery learning: students who no longer see any need to prepare for tests but instead rely on the availability of teacher remediation and retakes. So much more efficient to study for the test after you already know what’s going to be on it!
3. Taking notes. Note-taking is no longer being widely taught or expected, replaced by cellphone photos of the teacher’s slides and copies of the slides online.
4. Due dates.  In the cause of ensuring grades reflect only mastery, many schools now forbid teachers to dock grades for late work, inadvertently removing incentives for students to honor due dates.
5. Tracking due dates in planners.  Apps that push out reminders mean students no longer have to track this info themselves.
6. Passing notes. Students haven't actually stopped passing notes, of course: they've just transitioned to texting.  
7. Reading time on an analog clock. Rendered obsolete by cell phones … but now that kids aren’t allowed to have their cell phones out in class, yet most buildings are still equipped with analog clocks, this just means that most students no longer have any idea what time it is.

PARENT EXPECTATIONS

1. Field trip chaperones. The upshot of parents who both work: a dearth of parents willing/able to volunteer to chaperone daytime field trips
2. Classroom volunteers. Ditto classroom volunteers, though this has also been exacerbated by concerns over the dangers of allowing unvetted adults into classrooms. 
3. Active PTAs. Involvement in PTAs continues to diminish, driven by improved online communication with parents, more diverse student populations, and changing cultural expectations 
4. Expecting parents to participate in school discipline. Not meant as a blanket condemnation – there are of course still parents willing to work with schools to enforce consequences – but school admins have largely stopped expecting this to occur.   

CURRICULUM

1. Gender-specific classes. No longer is home ec the exclusive domain of girls, shop the exclusive domain of boys; all courses have become comfortably co-ed
2. Cursive writing; penmanship. Rendered obsolete by computers – though we’re going to have to nurture a small group of cursive interpreters to preserve pre-2000 text.
3. Grammar instruction. Being replaced by AI-powered writing aides, in combination with an increasing cultural tolerance for “flexible” grammar.  
4. Drivers Ed. Liability-fueled fears have put the kibosh on school-based driving instruction, though some schools still offer the classroom portion.
5. Typing class. These days, students are proficient at typing by the time they reach 6^th grade, thanks to the time they’ve spend on keyboards.
6. Photography classes. No more need for darkroom skills in this era of digital cameras.

LIBRARY, CAFETERIA & GYM

1. Card catalogs. Computers may have replaced grubby index cards in tiny drawers, but the Dewey Decimal System seems safe for now.
2. Stamping cards with due dates. The library now sends students text messages when their books are due.
3. Microfiche. Remember when newspapers were scanned and preserved on film that had to be viewed using a special machine? Now they’re stored as .pdfs, available on any computer.
4. Lunch boxes & thermoses. Lunch boxes have become, alas, uncool – but no one’s missing those old glass thermoses that used to shatter and fill your soup with shards of glass
5. Lunch money. No need to carry cash anymore; students all have debit accounts that can be accessed by pin numbers. (A tough break for bullies.)
6. Presidential Fitness Test. Discontinued in the interest of focusing PE classes on overall health and wellness rather than athleticism.
7. Rope climbs. Discontinued, I have always assumed, due to irrelevance (piracy having ceased to be a career option); that, and the potential liability associated with students plummeting through the air onto thin foam mats.
8. Square dancing. Replaced by less socially humiliating forms of physical fitness.
9. Dodgeball. Bullying in the form of sport! Discontinued for humanitarian reasons.
10. Gym uniforms. Took us longer than we should have to figure out they were unflattering, unsanitary, expensive, and unnecessary

TECHNOLOGIES & SUPPLIES

1. AV Carts. Feel almost sorry for generations of students who will never experience the excitement of the AV cart (TV, speakers) being rolled into the room, bring with it the promise of novelty and perhaps a quick snooze after the lights went out!
2. Computer carts and labs. Replaced by 1:1 laptops – an expensive investment for school districts, but perpetually buggy, outdated computer labs and carts were definitely NOT going to be adequate to give students the time they needed to develop computer literacy.
3. Blackboards, overhead projectors, film projectors. Replaced by white boards that double as projection screens for the teacher’s computer.  An improvement no one is regretting, except perhaps chalk manufacturers.
4. Physical textbooks (+ grocery bag book covers). Being replaced by a combination of online textbooks and collections of internet apps & resources.
5. Manual pencil sharpeners & pencil boxes. No need for pencils (nor boxes to put them in) now that students are producing their output in the form of computer text.  
6. Doing research using encyclopedias, hard copy books, index cards. Rendered obsolete by computer-based resources and apps.
7. Compasses, protractors, slide rules, calculators. Gone the way of the abacus!
8. Pull down maps & globes. No longer necessary due to the availability of these resources on the internet … and also the fact that few schools seem to bother to teach geography any more.