Book Look: The Tale of Two Cities, by Charles Dickens

It’s been days now since I finished Tale of Two Cities, but still having a hard time shaking it. The opening of the book – “It was the best of times, it was the worst of times …” foreshadows up the conundrum to come – how can a story of so much horror also be a story of so much love, nobility, and self-sacrifice?

I postponed reading the book much longer than I should have because, frankly, I worried for my emotional well-being. Having barely survived the death of Little Nell, I wasn’t sure I had the intestinal fortitude to handle a Dickens novel set during the horrors of the French Revolution. The inescapable irony, of course, is that great love/nobility/sacrifice can only exist in the midst of horror. And so it is in this riveting, heartwarming/heartbreaking tale of (with apologies to The Princess Bride) “true love” in all its forms – selfish, platonic, filial, romantic, unrequited.

As I expect most folks already know, the tale centers around a triumvirate of characters – the beautiful, virtuous Lucie Manett, her psychologically fragile old father Doctor Manette, and Charles Darney, an honorable young French nobleman who has moved to England in order to renounce any association with the atrocities of the Revolution. And since this is Dickens, they are kept company by a bakers dozen other brilliantly imagined and realized characters, from the coarse but faithful Crusher to the stolid-businessman-with-a-heart-of-gold Lorry, from the ambitious French revolutionary DeFarge to his ghastly wife Madame DeFarge, from self-aggrandizing lawyer Stryver to perhaps one of Dickens’ most tragic characters, the self-destructive university student Sidney Carton.

Inevitably, our young lovers Charles and Lucie end up in the hands of the Revolution, whereupon I headed for the tissue box, foreseeing the tragic end. But because this is Dickens (again), I should have expected that the tragedy would be a complex thing: that heroes would turn out to be flawed, that villains would turn out to be less heartlessly villainous as they may at first have appeared, and that otherwise ordinary people would turn out to be capable of extraordinary acts of courage and sacrifice. As in many other Dickens novels, the author doesn’t shy away from realistically portraying the cruelty and brutality of which human society is capable. Some of the people and scenes depicted in this tale are simply appalling. And yet, somehow, Dickens always manages to pilot us through the morass to a place where human decency ends up triumphing over all the obstacles set against it.

Am not sure why Sidney Carton doesn’t get the press that other literary greats – Gatsby, Ahab, Heathcliff, Atticus Finch, etc. – have garnered, because I feel like he more than deserves a spot in the pantheon. Be that as it may, he’s definitely earned a spot in my list of great characters in literature, and whether or not he’s enjoying the far, far better rest he wholeheartedly deserves, I know I’m a far better and richer person for having met him and for allowing Dickens, once again, to whisk me away on an unforgettable journey

40 secular messages of condolence

I have unfortunately reached the time in my life when writing condolence cards is becoming a regular necessity.  This is made all the more difficult by the fact that I don't affiliate with any particular religion, so many of the conventional/reliable expressions of sympathy (ex: "I will keep you and your family in my prayers") are inappropriate.  Have been adding to the list of sentiments below from some years now; only just occurred to me that others might be sharing my difficulties and appreciate the fruits of my labors.

1. I/we were shocked/saddened/grieved/devastated to learn of the passing of ____________
2. My/Our heart/hearts are heavy/filled with sorrow at the news of ________'s passing. 
3. I/we want you to know that we/I are so very/terribly sorry to hear about the passing of _____________. 
4. Word’s cannot express the sadness/sorrow/grief we feel for you as you deal with the death of ____________.
5. I/We grieve the passing of such a _________* person (*remarkable, admirable, kindhearted, talented, admired, unforgettable, fun-loving, funny, wonderful, well-loved, lovely, sweet, gentle, generous, honorable, respected, caring, hardworking, strong, energetic)
6. I/we will miss _________ too.
7. I/we extend to you my/our love/heartfelt sorrow/deepest condolences at this difficult time
8. My/our hearts and sympathy go out to you at this difficult time.
9. My/Our most sincere condolences.
10. Thinking of you and your family in this time of sorrow.
11. I/We join you in mourning the passing of ____________ .
12. May the heartfelt condolences and sympathy of those who love you bring you comfort during this painful time. 
13. May you be consoled by the fact that __________ was cherished by those who were lucky enough to know him/her, and will love on in their memories.
14. May affectionate/enduring memories of ________ bring you comfort during this difficult time.
15. May the care and love of those around you provide comfort and peace to get you through/help you endure the hard/difficult/painful days ahead.
16. I/we wish you serenity and peace during this difficult time
17. May he/she rest in peace.
18. The loss of someone dear to us is never easy, but may you take comfort in the fact that you are surrounded by people that love and care for you.
19.  _______ will live on in the hearts and memories of the people who, like us, loved/admired/respected him/her.
20. It was an honor/privilege/blessing to have known such a remarkable/admirable/kind/gentle person.
21. We join you in celebrating the rich/distinguished/unconventional/remarkable life of _____________
22. _________ will truly be missed by all of who knew him/her.
23. I/we send my/our love and sympathy in hopes that they will be of some comfort to you.
24. Losing someone we love is never easy, but the gift of having  known ________, of having been fortunate enough to share his/her life, is a blessing that even death cannot deprive us of.
25. If there is comfort to be found in this difficult time, perhaps it is in knowing that _________ (1) lived a long/rich/remarkable life; (2) is finally relieved of their suffering; (3) finally rests in peace.
26. May you find comfort in the fact that _____________ will be remembered with love and respect by those they have left behind.
27. Wishing you peace to bring comfort, courage to face the days ahead, and loving memories to forever hold in your heart.
28. Hold tight to memories for comfort, lean on your friends and family for strength, and always remember how much you are loved.
29. After the tears have dried and the goodbyes have been said, the memories we've shared with our loved ones continue to live on, providing comfort/remembrance/reassurance.
30. Today and always, may loving memories bring you peace, comfort, and strength.
31. Our time on this earth is short, sometimes far too short, but no life leaves the lives of those that have loved them unmarked.
32. Grant but memory to us, and we lose nothing by death. -Whittier, My Summer with Dr. Singleton
33. Though nothing can bring back the hour of splendor in the grass, of glory in the flower, We will grieve not, rather find strength in what remains behind. ~William Wordsworth
34. Like a bird singing in the rain, let grateful memories survive in time of sorrow. ~Robert Louis Stevenson
35. Unable are the loved to die, for love is immortality. ~Emily Dickinson
36. There are no goodbyes for us. Wherever you are, you will always be in my heart. ~Gandhi
37. For death is no more than a turning of us over from time to eternity. - William Penn
38. Death leaves a heartache no one can heal/love leaves a memory no one can steal. - anonymous
39. It is not length of life, but depth of life."- Ralph Waldo Emerson
40. True love stories never end, they are just "to be continued." 
41. I know I can’t make your pain go away, but I want you to know that (1) a kind voice and sympathetic ear are only a phone call away; (2) I'm here with a shoulder or an ear or anything else you need; (3) your friends and I will be taking care of ___________ for the time being, in hopes of relieving you of at least one burden.
42. I know that the hurt won’t go away when the cards and casseroles do. Remember I'll still be here for you
43. As the days and weeks pass, and as you return to life's routine, may you continue to feel comforted by the love and support of family and friendship.

Movies that Make Me Cry

Sometimes, after a really difficult week at work, there's nothing more cathartic than a good cry. Fortunately, crying isn't a problem for me. I'm so weak, a particularly sentimental Hallmark commercial has been known to reduce me to tears. (Most recently, it was the one that aired around Christmas, where the soldier opens a storybook sent to him by his daughter, and her recorded voice starts reading the story aloud. You can't tell me other people didn't cry at that one.)  Really, I should probably just quit work and invest in Kleenex stock.

But if commercials aren't enough to do the trick, I have the following list of go-to movies I know I can rely on to trigger a lovely, cleansing cry. How does my list compare to yours?

1. Going, Going ... Gone. Filmmakers know that the most reliable way to wrench a tear out of their viewers is to kill off a main character. God knows it always works on me.  For this reason, I tend to deliberately eschew such movies, which explains why I've never seen Love Story and Brian's Song.  But every once in a while I drop my guard or get taken by surprise, and the next thing you know I'm digging in my purse for tissues.  Million Dollar Baby, The Pride of the Yankees and Finding Neverland all had me discretely dabbing my eyes; but there was nothing discrete about the way I bawled like a baby when Ryan Hurst died in Remember the Titans, and don't even get me started on Titanic when Leonardo de Caprio passes.  Damn that plaintive Celtic soundtrack.
2. Going, Going ... But wait!  Then there are the movies that manipulate me into believing the main character is going to die off, only to spare their lives at last possible instant.  I still remember the first time I watched, horrified, as that little light in E.T.'s chest faded, then winked out.  And how hard I clapped for Tinkerbell the first time I saw Peter Pan. I start crying because I'm convinced they're going to die, then I just keep cying because I'm so relieved they're okay. Talk about doubling down.  
3. Mourning.  And then come the movies about the lovers that all those tragic deaths have left behind.  I'm particularly thinking of Tom Hanks in Sleepless in Seattle, the scene when he's describing to the late-night radio host all the different ways his wife used to smile; and P.S. I Love You, every time Hilary Swank opens one of those letters that her wonderful (and gorgeous) husband left for her to find after his death. I'm crying because it's so damned beautiful and tragic at the same time.  
4. Death is Just the Beginning.  And just when I think it can't get any worse than pining over the death of loved ones, along come the movies where death is just the beginning: not only can't the surviving partner bear to live without their love, but the ghosts of their loved ones remain tied to earth by their devotion.  Always, starring Richard Dryfuss and Holly Hunter, gets me every time, as does Ghost and Madly/Truly/Deeply.  Nor can I resist weeping at movies where people who are already dead fall in love with the living.  (Talk about setting yourself up for disappointment.) The Ghost and Mrs. Muir, City of Angels, and Meet Joe Black all fall into this category.
5. Thwarted Love.  Movies where lovers are separated by circumstances beyond their control reliably reduce me to sniffles.  I didn't even like The Curious Case of Benjamin Button, but still shed tears over the debacle of lovers doomed to live out their lives in opposite directions. In West Side Story love is thwarted by hate, in Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind it is thwarted by pain, and in the incomparable Casablanca is it thwarted by honor and politics: whatever the cause, though, thwarted love inevitably means Niagra Falls for me.
6. Unrequited Love. Ditto movies devoted to the misery of unrequited love.  How can Jenny keep turning her back on Forrest Gump when it's clear to everyone else in the world that they were meant to be together?  And how come not a single person in Legends of the Fall manages to fall in love with someone capable of loving them in return?  
7. Overcoming Obstacles.  I'm a sucker for movies where, by dint of enormous personal courage and dignity, people triumph over disabilities or injustice.  The scene where Tom Hanks as Forrest Gump asks Jenny if their child is "normal" breaks my heart, and even before Russell Crowe starts addressing the Nobel Prize ceremony in Beautiful Mind, I'm already a mess. And as for The Shawshank Redemption ... basically, I start crying from the moment Tim Robbins emerges from the drainpipe straight through to the last scene where he and Morgan Freeman reunite on that beach in Mexico. Yes, that's a lot of tissues.
8. Just When You Thought Their Lives Couldn't Get Any Worse.  Into this category I place all those movies that feature characters who endure grevious hardships and who, tragically, never make it happily ever after. The name Les Miserables should have given me a clue what to expect: even so, nothing really prepares one for the relentless tragedy of Eponine's story. The Birdman of Alcatraz is another movie that layers hardship and tragedy like a parfait of grief.  But I think the granddaddy of them all, for me, remains Slumdog Millionaire.  Even the (relatively) happy ending can't undo the damage that 2hrs of nearly unrelenting weeping inflicts upon my poor swollen eyes.
9. Nostalgia and Childhood.  Waxing sentimental over times gone by is another personal weakness.  I still can't watch Toy Story II or Toy Story III without wishing I could go back in time and thank Fuzzy Wuzzy, my loyal teddy bear, for all the times he stood by me.  (Could that song "When Somebody Loved Me" be any sadder?) And I once read (and completely believe) that 95% of men cry at the scene in Field of Dreams when Kevin Costner finally gets to play catch with his father ... so it's not just me.
10. When "Happily Ever After" Isn't an Option.  And then there are those movies where "happily ever after" isn't an option, because the filmmakers are confronting real-world cruelties and miseries like racism, hatred, cruelty, intolerance, and regret.  These are the movies I prepare for in advance by packing not just handkerchiefs, but also dark glasses so that I can hide my swollen eyes when the lights come up in the theater.  Schindler's List. Philadelphia. The Color Purple.  Sophie's Choice. Atonement. Saving Private Ryan. To Kill a Mockingbird.  And back when I was in elementary school, a short film called The Red Balloon that I'm not sure even exists anymore, but that was so tragic (the boy's magical red balloon is punctured by bullies hurling stones), it used to regularly reduce the entire 6th grade class to sniffling wrecks.
11. Honor & Nobility, Courage & Sacrifice. Another guaranteed tear-jerker for me is are plots that feature characters nobly sacrificing themselves for others.  That scene in Armageddon where Bruce Willis sacrifices himself to save the life of the man his daughter loves. The scene in Last of the Mohicans when Duncan sacrifices himself so that the woman he loves can find happiness in the arms of Daniel Day Lewis's Hawkeye. The scene in Gladiator when Russell Crowe kills the emporer, restoring Rome to democratic rule.  The finale of Dead Poet's Society, when the boys defy their schoolmaster and climb up onto their desks in order to pay tribute to their departing friend and mentor, Robin Williams. Yes, even that scene in the Star Trek movie (I forget which one) where Spock sacrifices his life to save the Enterprise. Not to mention pretty much every scene in The Green Mile. 
12. Oh, the Humanity! Sometimes it isn't the fate of the main characters that moves me, but the larger tragedy of the story being told.  Yes, I cried when Leonardo died in Titanic, but I'd already been going for a while by then, moved to horror and pity by the spectacle of so many deaths.  And the scene in Henry V when Kenneth Branaugh and the battered English survey the horrific aftermath of Agincourt always evokes a similar cathartic sob.
13. No More Dead Dogs!  I'm not sure why Hollywood can't make a nice movie about animals without killing them off in the end.  I only know that I'll never, ever forgive them for Old Yeller.  I cried so hard, it's a wonder they didn't have to cart me off to the hospital to be rehydrated. Since then I've deliberately boycotted movies featuring animals, and I understand from friends who saw Marley & Me that it's just as well I have 
14. Happy Endings.  Sometimes, however, filmmakers cut us a break, and the tears streaming down my face are triggered by joy rather than sorrow.  I typically lose it at the moment when the characters I've been rooting for all movie finally achieve their dream - when Hickory High School wins the regional championship in Hoosiers, for instance, or when August's parents find each other in August Rush; when Richard Dryfuss finally gets to hear his composition performed in Mr. Holland's Opus, or when Gene Krantz, playing NASA Flight Director Gene Krantz, surruptitiously wipes his eyes as Apollo 13 crashes safely into the sea; and, of course, when George Bailey realizes, every year at Christmas, that it really is A Wonderful Life.   

Tonight I'm Gonna Cry Playlist: Songs That Make Me Cry

What is it about some songs that make us bawl like a baby?

• Is it regret? (Cats in the Cradle, Wasted Time, The Living Years, Yesterday)  
• Death? (Amazing Grace, Tears in Heaven)  
• Doomed Love? (Somewhere) 
• Lost Love? (Against the Odds, Weekends in New England) 
• Lost youth? (It Was a Very Good Year, 100 Years, I Loved These Days) 
• The glory/horror of war? (Brothers in Arms, Some Gave All, Goodnight Saigon, Taps) 
• Patriotism? (The Battle Hymn of the Republic, America) 
• Songs that fill you with hope that, no matter how bad things get, there's something better Over the Rainbow? (What a Wonderful World, Imagine, Rainbow Connection). 
• Sometimes, the words don't even matter - all it takes is a heart-breaking chord change or crescendo to tear at our hearts, like Samuel Barber's haunting Adajio for Strings or Jeff Buckley's wrenching versoin of Hallelujah.  

Then again, does it matter? The point is that whenever I feel the need for a good, purging cry, these songs are guaranteed to deliver the tears.

1. 100 Years, Five for Fighting
2. Adagio for Strings, Samuel Barber
3. Afterglow, Genesis
4. Against All Odds, Phil Collins
5. All By Myself, Eric Carmen
6. All I Ask of You, Phantom of the Opera
7. Allegretto, Symphony No. 7, Beethoven
8. Amazing Grace, any version
9. America, Ray Charles
10. American Pie, Don McLean
11. Angel, Sarah McLachlan
12. Are You Lonesome Tonight, Elvis Presley
13. At 17, Carly Simon
14. Ave Maria, any version
15. Auld Lang Syne, any version
16. Battle Hymn of the Republic, any version
17. Big John, Tennessee Ernie Ford
18. Bird on the Wire, Leonard Cohen
19. Blue in Green, Miles Davis
20. Both Sides Now, Joni Mitchell
21. The Boxer, Simon and Garfunkle
22. Brandy, Looking Glass
23. Bridge Over Troubled Water, Simon & Garfunkel
24. Bring Him Home, from Les Miserables
25. Brothers in Arms, Dire Straits
26. Candle in the Wind, Elton John
27. Canon in D, Pacelbel
28. Cat's in the Cradle, Harry Chapin
29. Crazy Love, Van Morrison
30. Crying, Roy Orbison
31. The Crying Game, Boy George
32. The Dance, Garth Brooks
33. Dang Me, Roger Miller
34. Danny Boy, any version
35. Dante's Prayer, Loreena McKennitt
36. Days, Elvis Costello
37. The Death of Falstaff, from Henry V
38. Desperado, Eagles
39. Don't Cry for Me Argentina, from Evita
40. Don't Take the Girl, Tim McGraw
41. Dream, Bob Dylan
42. Dust in the Wind, Kansas
43. Eleanor Rigby, Beatles
44. Empty Chairs and Empty Tables, from Les Miserables
45. Empty Garden, Elton John
46. Evergreen, Barbra Streisand
47. Everybody Hurts, REM
48. Fanfare for the Common Man, Aaron Copeland
49. Fields of Gold, Eva Cassidy
50. Fire and Rain, James Taylor
51. The First Time Ever I Saw Your Face, Roberta Flack
52. Fix You, Cold Play
53. Forget Her, Jeff Buckley
54. The Gambler, Kenny Rogers
55. Georgia on my Mind, Ray Charles
56. The Ghost of Tom Joad, Bruce Springsteen
57. Good Riddance, Green Day
58. Goodnight Saigon, Billy Joel
59. Greatest Love of All, Whitney Houston
60. Growin' Up, Bruce Springsteen
61. Hallelujah, Jeff Buckley (or Pentatonix)
62. Hello, Adele
63. Hurt, Johnny Cash
64. Hushabye Mountain, from Chitty Chitty Bang Bang
65. I Can't Make You Love Me, Bonnie Raitt
66. I Don't Want to Miss a Thing, Aerosmith
67. I Grieve, Peter Gabriel
68. I Have Nothing, Whitney Houston
69. I Dreamed a Dream, from Les Miserables
70. I Was a Fool to Let You Go, Barry Manilow
71. I Won't Let Go, Rascal Flatts
72. If, Bread
73. If I Die Young, The Band Perry
74. If You're Reading This, Tim McGraw
75. I'll Stand By You, Glee
76. I'm A Fool To Want You, Carly Simon
77. I'm Moving On, Rascal Flatts
78. Imagine, John LennonIn Your Eyes, Peter Gabriel
79. The Impossible Dream, Man of LaMancha
80. In a New York Minute, Don Henley
81. In a Sentimental Mood, Duke Ellington
82. In the Ghetto, Elvis Presley
83. In the Wee Small Hours, Carly Simon
84. Iris, Goo Goo Dolls
85. It Was Very Good Year, Frank Sinatra
86. It's Not Easy Being Green, Ray Charles
87. It's Too Late, Carole King
88. I've Loved These Days, Billy Joel
89. Keep Holding On, Avril Lavigne
90. Landslide, Fleetwood Mac
91. Last Goodbye, Jeff Buckley
92. The Last Song, Elton John
93. The Leader of the Band, Dan Fogleberg
94. Let Her Go, Passenger
95. Let It Be, Beatles
96. Lilac Wine, Jeff Buckley
97. The Living Years, Mike and the Mechanics
98. The Long and Winding Road, Beatles
99. A Long December, Counting Crows
100. Lover, You Should Have Come Over, Jeff Buckley
101. The Luckiest, Ben Folds
102. Mad World, Michael Andrews
103. Make You Feel My Love, Adele
104. Memories, Barbra Streisand
105. A Million Fireflies, Midway State
106. Moon River, Louis Armstrong
107. Mother's Pride, George Michael
108. More than Words, Extreme
109. Mr. Bojangles, Nitty Gritty Dirt Band
110. Music of the Night, from Phantom of the Opera
111. My Eyes Adored You, Frankie Valli
112. My Funny Valentine, Sarah Vaughn
113. My Immortal, Evanescence
114. My Way, Frank Sinatra
115. Nessun Dorma, Turnadot
116. Nightswimming, REM
117. On My Own, from Les Miserables
118. One Day More, from Les Miserables
119. One Hand/One Heart, from West Side Story
120. One Moment in Time, Whitney Houston
121. Operator, Jim Croce
122. Philadelphia, Bruce Springstein
123. Promentary, from Last of the Mohicans
124. Proud to be An American, Lee Greenwood
125. Puff the Magic Dragon, Peter, Paul and Mary
126. Rainbow Connection, Kermit the Frog
127. Rainy Days and Mondays, The Carpenters
128. Redemption Song, Joe Strummer and Johnny Cash
129. Romeo & Juliet, Dire Straits
130. Say Something, Great Big World & Christina Aguilera
131. Seasons in the Sun, Terry Jacks
132. See You Again, Charlie Puth w/Wiz Khalifa
133. Send in the Clowns, Judy Collins
134. Set Fire to the Rain, Adele
135. Smoke Gets in Your Eyes, Nat King Cole
136. Solsbury Hill, Peter Gabriel
137. Some Gave All, Billy Ray Cyrus
138. Someone Like You, Adele
139. Someone You Loved, Lewis Capaldi
140. Sometimes When We Touch, Dan Hill
141. Somewhere (A Place for Us), from West Side Story
142. Somewhere Out There, Linda Rondstadt
143. Somewhere Over the Rainbow, Israel Kamakawiwo'ole
144. Sorry Seems to be the Hardest Word, Elton John
145. Sound of Silence, Simon & Garfunkle (or Pentatonix)
146. Stand By Me, BB King
147. Stardust, Glen Miller
148. Strange Fruit, Billie Holliday
149. Streets of Philadelphia, Bruce Springsteen
150. Summertime, Louis Armstrong
151. Sunrise/Sunset, from Fiddler on the Roof
152. Superman, Five for Fighting
153. Taps, any version
154. Tears in Heaven, Eric Clapton
155. There's a Place For Us, from West Side Story
156. These Three Words, Stevie Wonder
157. This Woman's Work, Maxwell (or Kate Bush)
158. Time After Time, Cyndi Lauper
159. Time in a Bottle, Jim Croce
160. Time to Say Goodbye, Sarah Brightman and Andrea Bocelli
161. Times of Your Life, Paul Anka
162. To Sir With Love, Lulu
163. Tonight I'm Gonna Cry, Keith Urban
164. True Colors, Cindi Lauper
165. Unchained Melody, Righteous Brothers
166. You Were Always on My Mind, Willie Nelson
167. Walking in Memphis, Marc Cohn
168. Wasted Time, Eagles
169. Weekends in New England, Barry Manilow
170. Weight of Lies, Avett Brothers
171. We're Just Friends, Wilco
172. What a Wonderful World, Louis Armstrong
173. What I Did For Love, Barbra Streisand
174. When I See You Again, Wiz Khalifa
175. When I Was Your Man, Bruno Mars
176. When Somebody Loved Me, Sara McLachlan
177. When the Party's Over, Billie Eilish
178. Who Wants to Live Forever, Queen
179. Wildfire, Michael Martin
180. The Wind, Cat Stevens
181. Wishing You Were Here, Chicago
182. Wreck of the Edmund Fitzgerald, Gorden Lightfoot
183. Yesterday, Beatles
184. You Are So Beautiful, Joe Crocker
185. You Don't Know Me, Ray Charles
186. You Raise Me Up, Josh Groban

Breaking Up Is Hard To Do Playlist

Compiling this list made me reflect on how similar mourning the death of a relationship is to mourning the death of a loved one.  If you're very, very lucky, you may finally achieve the poignant acceptance of moving on (I'm Moving On, You're My Favorite Mistake), but first you have to pass through anger (Hit the Road Jack, Love Stinks), denial (I Ain't Missing You), negotiation (Baby Come Back, At This Moment), and regret (Even Now, Hard Habit to Break).  

Call me a hopeful romantic, but my favorites are the ones that, while acknowledging that both parties may have gone their Separate Ways, hold out the hope that maybe, Somewhere Down the Road, Against All Odds, things may yet work out.  Where there's love, there's hope ...!

1. Achy Breaky Heart, Billy Ray Cyrus
2. Against All Odds, Phil Collins
3. Ain't No Sunshine, Bill Withers
4. All By Myself, xxx
5. All Out of Love, Air Supply
6. Always on My Mind, Elvis Presley 
7. At This Moment, Billy Vera
8. Baby Come Back, Player
9. Bluer Than Blue, Michael Johnson
10. Burn, Usher
11. Careless Whisper, George Michael
12. Crazy, Patsy Cline
13. Cry Me A River, Justin Timberlake
14. Crying, Ray Orbison
15. Damage Is Done, Foreigner
16. Don't Speak, No Doubt
17. Even Now, Barry Manilow
18. Everybody Needs A Little Time Away, Chicago
19. Every Rose Has Its Thorn, Poison
20. Every Time We Say Goodbye, Rod Stewart
21. Ex-Factor, Lauryn Hill
22. First Cut is the Deepest, Rod Stewart
23. Good Riddance, Green Day
24. Goodbye Girl, Bread
25. Goodbye to You, Scandal
26. Hard Habit to Break, Chicago
27. Hard to Say I'm Sorry, Chicago
28. Heart of the Matter, Don Henley
29. Heartbreak Hotel, Elvis Presley
30. Hit the Road Jack, Ray Charles
31. How Am I Supposed to Live Without You, Michael Bolton
32. How Can You Mend a Broken Heart, Bee Gees
33. How Do I Live, Trisha Yearwood
34. Hurt, Nine Inch Nails
35. Hurt So Bad, Little Anthony
36. I Ain't Missing You, John Waite
37. I Don't Care Anymore, Phil Collins
38. I Guess That's Why They Call It The Blues, Elton John
39. I Heard It Through the Grapevine, Marvin Gaye
40. I Hope You Dance, Lee Ann Womack
41. I Was A Fool (to Let You Go), Barry Manilow
42. I Will Remember You, Sarah McLachlan
43. I Will Survive, Stephanie Bentley
44. I Will Survive, Gloria Gaynor
45. I Wonder Who's Kissing Her Now, Ray Charles
46. If You Leave, OMD
47. If You Leave Me Now, Chicago
48. I'm Moving On, Rascal Flatts
49. I'm So Lonesome I Could Cry, Hank Williams
50. It Must Have Been Love, Roxette
51. It's My Turn, Diana Ross
52. It's Too Late, Carole King
53. Last Goodbye, Jeff Buckley
54. Look Away, Chicago
55. Love Doesn't Live Here Anymore, Faith Hill
56. Love on the Rocks, Neil Diamond
57. Love Stinks, J. Geils Band
58. Lyin' Eyes, Eagles
59. Memory, Barbra Streisand
60. My Favorite Mistake, Sheryl Crow
61. My Heart Will Go On, Celine Dion
62. New Attitude, Patti Lbelle
63. One Last Cry, Brian McKnight
64. Over You, Daughtry
65. Please Don't Go, KWS
66. Right Here Waiting, Richard Marx
67. Send Her My Love, Journey
68. Separate Ways, Journey
69. She's Gone, Hall & Oates
70. Since I Don't Have You, Skyliners
71. Single Ladies, Beyonce
72. Smoke Gets In Your Eyes, Louis Armstrong
73. Somewhere Down the Road, Barry Manilow
74. Sorry Seems to Be the Hardest Word, Elton John
75. Stormy Weather, Lena Horne
76. Take Good Care of My Baby, Bobby Vee
77. These Boots Are Made For Walkin', Nancy Sinatra
78. These Eyes, Guess Who
79. Thnks Fr Th Mmrs, Fall Out Boy
80. Tonight I Wanna Cry, Keith Urban
81. Too Much Too Little Too Late, Johnny Mathis
82. Total Eclipse of the Heart, Bonnie Tyler
83. Tragedy, Bee Gees
84. Unbreak My Heart, Tony Braxton
85. Unchained Melody, Righteous Brothers
86. Usta Be My Girl, O'Jays
87. The Way We Were, Barbra Streisand
88. We Just Disagree, Dave Mason
89. What Hurts the Most, Rascal Flatts
90. Whenever You Come Around, Vince Gill
91. Wherever You Will Go, The Calling
92. While You Loved Me, Rascal Flatts
93. Wicked Game, Chris Isaak
94. Yesterday, The Beatles
95. You Give Love a Bad Name, Bon Jovi
96. You Keep Me Hangin' On, Kim Wilde
97. You Won't Forget Me, Carly Simon
98. You'll Think of Me, Keith Urban
99. You're Only Someone That I Used to Love, Natalie Cole
100. You've Lost That Lovin' Feeling, Righteous Brothers

Did I omit your favorite breakup song? Let me know!

Night Driving Playlist

This playlist is for when you're in one of those "moods" - dark, brooding, perhaps a little melancholy.  For those nights when - literally or metaphorically - you're driving down long, dark, barren roads with only your ghosts to keep you company and the borderlands between you and your dark side have shrunk to the width of a lane of darkly glistening highway.  A mood that can only be soothed by songs with dark, brooding lyrics about loss and dispair; horns solos that tear at your heart; and minor chords that jar your soul.

1. 16 Tons, Tennessee Ernie Ford
2. Adagio for Strings, Barber (any cover)
3. Always Something There to Remind Me, Naked Eyes
4. American Pie, Don McLean
5. Big John, Tennessee Ernie Ford
6. Big Man on Mulberry Street, Billy Joel
7. Bohemian Rhapsody, Queen
8. Brothers in Arms, Dire Straits
9. Cell Block Tango, Soundtrack from Chicago
10. Cold as Ice, Foreigner
11. Come Sail Away, Styx
12. Crazy, Gnarls Barkley
13. Crying Game, Boy George
14. The Damage is Done, Foreigner
15. Desert Rose, Sting
16. Don't Fear the Reaper, Blue Oyster Cult
17. Downbound Train, Bruce Springsteen
18. Dream On, Aerosmith
19. Don't Tell me 'Cause It Hurts, No Doubt
20. Folsom Prison Blues, Johnny Cash
21. Gangsta's Paradise, Coolio
22. Garden of Allah, Don Henley
23. Ghost Riders in the Sky, Outlaws
24. Ghosts, Dan Fogelberg
25. Goodnight Saigon, Billy Joel
26. Fortuna Imperatrix Mundi: O Fortuna, Orff (any cover)
27. Hallelujah, Jeff Buckly
28. Hazy Shade of Winter, Bangles
29. Hot Summer Nights, Night
30. Hotel California, Eagles
31. House of the Rising Sun, Credence Clearwater Revival
32. I'm a Fool to Want You, Carly Simon
33. I'm on Fire, Bruce Springsteen
34. In the Air Tonight, Phil Collins
35. In the Midnight Hour, Wilson Picket
36. Into the Night, B.B. King
37. Into the Night, Santana
38. I've Loved These Days, Billy Joel
39. Kashmir, Led Zeppplin
40. A Kiss From a Rose, Seal
41. Lies, Elton John
42. Live and Let Die, Paul McCartney
43. The Living Daylights, A-Ha
44. Logical Song, Supertramp
45. Lonely in Your Nightmare, Duran Duran
46. Mad World, Michael Andrews
47. Maddest Kind of Love, Big Bad Voodoo Daddies
48. Magic, Ghostbuster's Soundtrack
49. Mission Impossible Theme, U2
50. New Religion, Duran Duran
51. New York Minute, Don Henley
52. Night on Bald Mountain, Mussorgsky (any cover)
53. Nights in White Satin, Moody Blues
54. On the Dark Side, John Cafferty
55. One, Three Dog Night
56. One Night in Bangkok, Murray Head
57. Peter Gunn Theme, Blues Brothers
58. Piano Man, Billy Joel
59. Pressure, Billy Joel
60. Promentary, Soundtrack from Last of the Mohicans
61. Purple Rain, Prince
62. Relax, Frankie Goes to Hollywood
63. Requiem: Lacrimosa, Mozart (any cover)
64. Riders on the Storm, The Doors
65. Save a Prayer, Duran Duran
66. Secret, Maroon 5
67. Six Silver Strings, B.B. King
68. Sound of Silence, Simon & Garfunkel
69. Stairway to Heaven, Led Zepplin
70. The Stranger, Billy Joel
71. Streets of Philadelphia, Bruce Springsteen
72. Struggle, Nuttin' But Stringz
73. Summer in the City, Lovin' Spoonful
74. Sunglasses at Night, Corey Heart
75. Sunset Grill, Don Henley
76. Take On Me, A-Ha
77. Tainted Love, Soft Cell
78. They Won't Go When I Go, George Michael
79. The Thrill is Gone, B.B. King
80. Thunderball, Tom Jones
81. Too Low for Zero, Elton John
82. Too Much Sex, Not Enough Affection, Timbuk 3
83. Total Eclipse of the Heart, Bonnie Tyler
84. Town Without Pity, Brian Setzer
85. Trouble, Bitter:Sweet
86. Twilight Zone, ManhattanTransfer
87. Unfaithful, Rihanna
88. Uninvited, Alanis Morisette
89. Until The Night, Billy Joel
90. A View to a Kill, Duran Duran
91. Voices Carry, 'Til Tuesday
92. When Doves Cry, Prince
93. While the Night Is Still Young, Billy Joel
94. Who Wants to Live Forever, Queen (Seal also does a great cover of this)
95. Wicked Game, Chris Isaac
96. Winner Takes It All, ABBA
97. The World is Not Enough, Garbage
98. The Wreck of the Edmund Fitgerald, Gordon Lightfood
99. You Belong to the City, Glenn Fry
    
    

12 Famous Tragic/ Melodramatic Poems

The term melodrama refers to a dramatic work which exaggerates plot and characters in order to appeal to the emotions.  For this reason, melodramatic poetry tends to be especially beloved by teenagers and women in the throes of bad romantic relationships.  This is somewhat unfair, however, as most of the poems listed below are wholly satisfying as both stories and examples of verse.  Read them and see if you don't agree.

1. The Wreck of the Hesperus, Henry Wadsworth Longfellow.  This thoroughly melodramatic narrative poem relates the story of a ship wrecked in a storm.  Alas, the skipper of the vessel is too proud to heed the warnings of the Crusty Old Sailor, who sagely advises him to "Put into yonder port/for I fear a hurricane."  Not only does the skipper laugh scornfully, but he decides to take his beautiful young daughter along as well.  (Hubris, anyone?)  Note to skipper: Everyone knows you ignore the advice of Crusty Old Sailors at your peril! 
2. The Highwayman, Alfred Noyes.  You have to appreciate the way-over-the-top pathos of this tale of a lass awaiting the return of her dashing lover who, alas, also happens to be a ruthless highwayman with a price on his head.  (Some women just can't resist the bad boys, can they?)  Every time I read the poem I keep hoping that she's going to shout "Hey, the soldiers are coming to get you!" (or words to that effect) rather than killing herself.  But she never does. 
3. Annabelle Lee, Edgar Allen Poe.  This deservedly famous poem is so romantic and tragic that has been known to reduce whole middle school classes to sniffling tears.  Supposedly a semi-autobiographic account of the untimely death of Poe's own young wife of tuberculosis, the story may draw you in, but it's the gorgeous language (that assonance! that consonance! that alliteration!) that will keep you reaching for the box of tissues.   
4. O Captain! My Captain!, Walt Whitman. Yes, it's that poem from the movie Dead Poet's Society.  More to the point, it's a tribute to Abraham Lincoln penned shortly after his assassination, and it works as an eloquently affecting paeon or homage to anyone who you have admired or looked up to. I dare you to read it aloud and not get at least a little teary. 
5. The Ballad of John Henry, author unknown.  Some say John Henry's a folktale, others argue that the legend stems from the feats of a real man, possibly a slave who worked laying down railroad track in the late 1800s.  Whatever the origin, the basic story is always the same, as is the outcome: John Henry challenges a steam drill to a contest, wins, but dies of exhaustion promptly afterwards, his life cut short by his superhuman effort.  One of a long, long lineage of literary ludditia (think Terminator I, II, III and/or IV) devoted to the contention that technology is soulless and evil. 
6. Rime of the Ancient Mariner, Samuel Taylor Coleridge. "Water, water, everywhere/Nor any drop to drink." Before it became a metaphor for pretty much everything, this was one of a great many affecting lines in this tale of ship doomed to slow death.  And in case you weren't paying attention earlier: always heed the advice of Crusty Old Sailors!
7. The Ballad of Reading Gaol, Oscar Wilde.  Oscar Wilde took as his inspiration for this long, georgeously tragic ode the true story of a man who was hanged for the murder of his wife.  Many, many dazzling stanzas, the most famous of which is surely Wilde's haunting lament, repeated several times: "Yet each man kills the thing he loves,/By each let this be heard,/Some do it with a bitter look,/Some with a flattering word,/The coward does it with a kiss,/The brave man with a sword."
8. Lady of Shalott, Alfred, Lord Tennyson. "Out flew the web and floated wide;/The mirror cracked from side to side;/'The curse has come upon me!' cried/The Lady of Shalott."  Making the eponymous Lady of Shallot neither the first nor the last maiden to be lured to her doom by the charms of that chivalric rogue, Sir Lancelot.  (Some men just can't keep it in their fauld, if you know what I mean ....)
9. Charge of the Light Brigade, Alfred Lord Tennyson. If you like your tragedy served up with a side of valor, you can't do better than this ode to the disastrous charge of British cavalry led by Lord Cardigan against Russian forces during the Battle of Balaclava on 25 October 1854 in the Crimean War: "Theirs not to make reply;/Theirs not reason why;/Theirs but to do or die:/Into the valley of Death."  (It's the "into the valley of Death" part that chokes me up every time.)
10. The Raven, Edgar Allen Poe.  On the other hand, if you like your tragedy served up with a side of creepy, Poe's The Raven is just the ticket, combining a dark and story night, the recent death of the narrator's true love, a perseverating raven, and a meter/rhyme scheme that would make a rap star swoon into one truly eerie tale.  Definitely don't read this one in the dark.
11. The Wreck of the Edmund Fitzgerald, Gordon Lightfoot.  Doesn't get much more tragic or melodramatic than this true tale of the sinking of the freighter Edmund Fitzgerald in Lake Superior.  By all means read the lyrics, but you'll want to listen to the song that goes with the lyrics to fully appreciate the gleefully unapologetic pathos of the tale.


12. Bonnie Barbara Allen, author unknown. And finally, the grand-daddy of them all, a ballad that for the past 300 years has reminded us to be careful what we say to the people we love, lest they are taken away from us before we have a chance to repent of the cruel things we say.  All the more tragic and melodramatic because it's true.