20+ Reasons that Gifted Kids Struggle to Reach Their Potential

Congratulations! Your child has been identified as gifted. You're home-free! No fights over report cards. No worries about them getting into a good college. Heck, they'll probably be able to take care of you in your old age. You've won the jackpot. 

Not so fast. Giftedness is the word we give to people who exist at the most extreme levels of standard deviation at the right edge of bell curve that describes human intelligence.  In other words, they are defined by the fact that they are NOT normal. And in a world that's been customized to meet the needs of normals, this can present any number of challenges.  Indeed, these challenges can be so formidable, research consistently shows that up to 50% of gifted individuals experience persistent underachievement.

Tomes have been written about each of these individually, but I've never found a source that listed all of them in one place - which is unfortunate, because most gifted individuals are going to experience a combination of these, and they can interact in unsuspected ways.  If you're the parent of a gifted individual, an adult that works with gifted individuals, or gifted yourself, I recommend that you keep this list handy.  Sometimes all that's needed to help is a bit of clarity and understanding; other times, however, struggling gifted individuals may need intercession in order to help them appropriately cope with the very real challenges that they face.   

1. Imposter syndrome/self-doubt. One of the most common issues faced by gifted individuals is the fear that they aren't as smart as other people think they are. This is often exacerbated by constant messaging from others telling them: "This should be easy for you." Unavoidably, as soon as something *isn't* easy for them, they begin to doubt themselves. Many gifted individuals report having spent their lives in a state of constant anxiety, afraid that at any time they might be "exposed" as being less gifted than people assume them to be.
2. Inflexible mindset. As a result of imposter syndrome, gifted individuals may exhibit an unwillingness to take risks. They would rather go for the sure 'A' than try something challenging and risk a lower grade, an outcome that (they fear) might reveal them to be "imposters." This can prevent them from taking academic, intellectual, or career risks.  
3. Perfectionism.  In moderation, perfectionism can drive gifted individuals to explore the limits of their abilities. Taken to an unhealthy extreme, some gifted individuals may begin measuring their self-worth by external evaluations such as grades or earnings. In excess, perfectionism can cause gifted individuals deliberately to underachieve because they perceive being considered lazy or disorganized as preferable to the risk of being perceived as less than perfect by themselves and others.  
4. Competing/conflicting cultural/racial/peer expectations. Maslow's Hierarchy of Needs reminds us that the most urgent priority in the lives of all humans, including gifted individuals, is their need to feel accepted, safe, and loved.  If a gifted individual is striving to be accepted by a group that devalues education due to cultural, racial or peer norms, then it's not uncommon for them to suppress or sabotage their giftedness in order to conform and be accepted.
5. Stereotype Bias. Stereotype bias combines several of the factors above, and describes a situation in which a gifted individual belonging to a specific cultural/racial/peer group becomes unnerved by the idea that they are going to be seen as "representing" their peer group.  This can lead to anxiety and a desire to withdraw from scrutiny.  
6. Lack of Role Models.  Related to the above, gifted individuals representing minority populations may struggle to envision themselves as assuming gifted roles in academia and the professional world because of the lack of same-minority role models to serve as examples, or even mentors.  Many minority STEM professionals continue to report feelings of insecurity due to the lack of existing pathways into STEM for people of their culture or ethnicity.
7. Competing/conflicting gender expectations. In some peer groups, gender expectations can interfere with giftedness.  For instance, there may be an expectation that girls eschew academic pursuits in favor of more nurturing family roles.  Many studies suggest that, even here in the U.S., a persistent stereotype that "boys are better at math and science" continues to limit opportunities for women in STEM careers. 
8. Competing/conflicting family expectations. In some cases, family priorities may overwhelm all other priorities, including academic achievement. For instance, a gifted individual might be expected to set aside personal aspirations in order to participate in their family's business/concern, contribute income to the family, or supervise/raise family members.   
9. Poverty. Individuals who grow up in poverty are more likely to experience an early childhood deficient of rich background experiences and content such as attending high performing neighborhood schools, growing up with books in the house, or participating in discussion with educated, literate adults. This can create gaps in background knowledge that can make it harder for these gifted individuals to access critical thinking tasks, leading to confusion, frustration, and anxiety.
10. Emotional overexcitability.  Gifted individuals are more likely to experience emotional overexcitability, a tendency to experience emotion in a heightened way.  This can manifest itself as extreme empathy for the plight of others, a heightened sense of right and wrong, in intolerance for injustice, a tendency to experience emotional extremes, and misplaced guilt/remorse. For such individuals, a single nightly world news broadcast or commercial about neglected animals can be enough to trigger extreme anxiety. 
11. Psychomotor overexcitability. Gifted individuals can display extreme psychomotor symptoms, including compulsive/impulsive behaviours, extreme competitiveness, and overactivity.  These individuals can become frustrated when these natural psychomotor extremes are misidentified as ADHD or immaturity and inappropriately accommodated - or even punished.
12. Sensual overexcitability.  Gifted individuals can have heightened reactions to sensory stimuli such as music, art, literature, or natural beauty.  They may overreact to sensory inputs they find annoying, or crave sensory stimuli that provide comfort or pleasure. These behaviours can create confusion, anxiety, and frustration.  
13. Intellectual overexcitability.  Gifted individuals can exhibit a tendency to engage in intellectual debate and confrontation, which can trigger disputes and create an impression of combativeness. 
14. Imaginational overexcitability. Gifted individuals often possess rich and complex imaginations, which can manifest as excessive daydreaming or extreme immersion in fantasy worlds - worlds that they have been exposed to through fiction or games, or that they have invented on their own. These obsessions with fantasy worlds can be a blessing (as when they provide a common interest upon which to base friendships) or a burden (as when their obsession with fantasy distracts them from other pursuits, or is perceived by peers as "odd").
15. Asynchronous development. While it is not uncommon for gifted children to exhibit levels of maturity beyond their years, this is *not* always the case. It is also fairly common for gifted children to develop asynchronously - to acquire critical developmental skills at an unequal rate, possibly even at a slower rate than age peers. Areas that may develop asynchronously include social/emotional skills, language & communication, cognitive skills, and fine/gross motor skills. This can cause intense frustration in adult guardians/teachers who are expecting a uniformly heightened level of development, but even more so in gifted students who may, for instance, read 6 years above grade level but still burst into tears at their inability to tie their own shoelaces.  (FYI, studies show that the slowest skill to develop is often written communication.)
16. Precocious reading.  One extremely common attribute of gifted children is a love of reading, with their choice of reading material often outstripping their chronological age. Their strong reading skills may make these texts accessible, but unfortunately does not guarantee that they will possess the emotional maturity to deal with the issues that may arise in these texts. They may find themselves unable to deal with the intense emotions aroused by such disturbing themes as injustice, violence, and dystopian futures.
17. Introversion. Studies indicate that the majority of gifted individuals are introverts. This can make it harder for them to engage with peers and may lead to feelings of isolation and depression.
18. Trouble Making Friends.  A combination of several factors can make it difficult for gifted individuals to establish a supportive circle of friends, to include introversion, asynchronously developing social skills, "odd" overexcitabilities, and the statistical lack of cognitive peers. Obviously individuals with very different cognitive levels can establish long and lasting friendships, but studies suggest that gifted individuals derive important social and emotional benefits from being able to interact with others at their cognitive level, which can be difficult to accommodate. 
19. Co-morbid conditions. Studies show that extreme intelligence often occurs in conjunction with other mental "abnormalities," such as OCD, depression, autism, and bipolar disorder.  A challenge in accurately diagnosing the existence of these co-morbid conditions is that gifted individuals are often clever enough to accommodate the most obvious symptoms so that they are not immediately obvious. Another challenge is that these conditions may appear as "shadows" that influence rather than override behaviour. However, the impact of these co-morbid conditions can cause confusion, frustration, anxiety, and lead to the adoption of maladaptive coping strategies such as self-medication. 
20. Multipotentiality.  This is another one of those benefits with a dark side: while it's great that gifted individuals often excel in multiple fields (academics, sports, arts, leadership, etc.), this can be a burden for these individuals when it comes to figuring out which of their areas of expertise to pursue. Anxiety and frustration can mount as different stakeholders (parents, coaches, directors, mentors) urge their imperatives on individuals who do not have enough hours in the day to gratify everyone ... much less themselves.
21. Managing adult expectations.  Gifted children self report that parents are their #1 source of support ... but also their #1 source of stress! Pressure to meet the (often unrealistically) high expectations of parents can lead to anxiety, frustration, anger, and depression. This can become particularly problematical when a parents' expectations for their child are a mismatch with the child's interests and passions - for instance, a child whose passion is art but whose parents are demanding that they take a pre-law course load. It can be tempting for adults to treat gifted children as "little adults," without making allowances for the fact their children are experiencing the same distractions, hormones, and inconsistencies as their age peers.
22. Lack of challenging content. Another huge source of stress for gifted children is having to endure lessons that provide no intellectual challenge.  After a while, gifted students repeatedly forced to sit through undemanding classes will conclude (rightly) that school has little of value to offer them, and their boredom and frustration may lead them into trouble.  
23. Lack of challenging collaborators.  While it may be tempting for teachers to pair more capable students with less capable students in hopes that the former will somehow "set a good example" and "pull up" their less capable colleagues, the actual result (studies show) is that gifted students end up doing most of the work and learn nothing. Unless they are consistently paired with peers working at approximately the same cognitive level as themselves, the outcome can be similar to that described above.
24. Maladaptive coping strategies. This challenge certainly isn't limited to gifted individuals: faced with anxiety, depression, anger or other frustrations, anyone might find themselves attracted to maladaptive coping strategies - tantrums/outbursts, unhealthy habits, inappropriate attention-seeking, self-medication using alcohol/drugs. However, there is a tendency for people to assume that gifted individuals are "too smart" to fall into these psychological traps, without understanding that the challenges faced by gifted individuals - to include poor self-esteem and constant external pressure to succeed - are precisely the types of stressors most likely to trigger maladaptive coping strategies. 

I hope this list proves informative and/or helpful!  Let me know in the comments if there's anything I've missed.

Book Look: One Hundred Years of Solitude, by Gabriel Garcia Marquez

 If you want to keep your book group talking all night, this is the book to pick! The reason: Garcia Marquez’s classic is working on so many levels, you can exhaust one topic only to realize that you have dozens more to go. 100 Years of Solitude can be explored as a historical novel (with some particularly scathing things to say about civil war and colonialism), as a work of mythology, as an exploration of gender, as an exploration of culture/religion, as a study of human psychology, as an exploration of the human condition, as an examination of free will vs. predestination, or even as a work of lyrical poetry. The book somehow manages to incorporate not just a few themes but almost ALL of them - love, solitude, family, identity, perseverance, war, justice, the corrupting influence of power, survival, sacrifice, hubris/pride, grief, revenge, death – all rendered in a vivid, dreamlike prose style that serves to heighten the emotion of every passage, somehow rendering beauty even more beautiful, wonder even more wonderful, and tragedy even more tragic. (Seriously, prepare to laugh, to cry, and to experience all the emotions in between.)

It’s important to remember that this novel is over 50yrs old. Many works of magical realism have come since, but this must have felt like a bomb dropped on the literary establishment at the time that it was released. People smarter than me have talked about why Garcia Marquez incorporates so many elements of hyperbole, superstition and magic. He himself has said that when he was a child, the stories his parents told him were always full of magic, so it was a natural act to incorporate magic in his own tale. Whatever the intent, the magical elements work here to add mythological resonance to many of the anecdotes, elevating them from narrative sketches to mythical tales (most of them with useful morals if you look for them). In this way, for instance, the story of Remedios the Beauty’s ascension into heaven becomes a myth about the perils of achieving perfection; the tale of the insomnia plague becomes a myth about perils of loneliness; and the tale of four devastating years of non-stop rain proceeding the brutal murder of 3000 innocent plantation workers become a myth about the corrupting/rotting influence of violence and greed.

One of Garcia Marquez’s major themes is that, so long as humans are too foolish to learn from our mistakes, we will just keep continuing to make them. (Which explains how “prophets” like Melquiades can exist – in order to appear as if they are telling the future, all they have to do is tell the past.) I bring this up because one thing your book group might explore is the parallels between incidents that are portrayed in this 50yr old book vs. incidents occurring in our world today, including culture wars between liberals and conservatives, the corruption of political leaders, plagues, sexual trafficking, and the militarization of scientific discoveries. Which raises the question: to what extent is 100 Years of Solitude a Melquiades-like fortelling of our own story? (How meta is that?!)

Just a few tips if you haven’t read this yet. The first being, give yourself time! This is NOT a book to be rushed through. Garcia Marquez plays tricks with time, with perspective, and even with reality - sometimes all three at once – often within a single paragraph or anecdote. Read all the words, and give your imagination time to not just comprehend but appreciate the effect of his masterful storytelling. Second, it may help to know a little about Columbian history, especially the early history of the country through the 1000 Days War ... so keep your phone standing by to look up the historical references. Third, give yourself permission to lose track of the names. The Buendias clan has a habit of recycling names (I think there were at least 3 Jose Arcadios? And over 20 Aurelianos?) but this artifice supports the overarching theme that humans tend to make the same mistakes over and over again, so in the end it doesn’t matter what fate befalls each, because the fates are collective and cumulative rather than individual. Fourth – especially if you’re female – try to allow yourself to loath the bits about female exploitation without letting your loathing color your whole experience. Looking beyond specific incidents of indignity, the women in this novel actually tend to be the stronger and more fully realized characters than the men. At the outset of the novel, for instance, Ursula may seem like a stereotypical “nagging housewife” from any old tale, but by the end of the novel she’s revealed to be the force that consolidates and perpetuates the Buendias clan. And I dare you not to cheer for Pilar Ternera, the local whore who, with all her immorality, proves herself again and again to possess more wisdom than any other character.

I’d envy those of you reading this for the first time, but it turns out I don’t have to, because this is the type of novel that one can re-read over and over again without ever running out of new understandings and discoveries. An extraordinary work of fiction, well-deserving of its spot on every list of “100 Top Works of Fiction.”