10 Things You Don't Want to Hear Your Airline Pilot Say

10 Things You Don't Want to Hear Your Airline Pilot Say:

1. "Why do you think this button is blinking?"
2. "Can't believe you won that last round of internet Scrabble!  Best 41 out of 80?"
3. "I am so hung over - it's like the whole world is spinning."
4. "I hope I remembered to close all the doors."
5. "Ever since my wife left me I've been seriously considering suicide."
6. "Don't tell anyone, but I may have exaggerated a little on my application."
7. "My wife gave me this parachute for Christmas."
8. "Look, ducks!  I'm not sure I've ever seen such an enormous flock!"
9. "Did that tower just tell us to use runway 115 or 150?"
10. "Don't worry - there's no way those snakes could ever get out of their cages."