Everything I've Learned About the English from Reading from English Literature

Reading is supposed to be the poor man's answer to travel: if you can't afford to visit a place, at least you can read about it, right?  I've never been fortunate enough to travel to England, so my understanding of the culture is entirely based on a survey of the country's literature. Here's what I've gleaned so far: 

1. At all times, English villages are either planning a church fete or actually in the midst of one (Christie)
2. Forebear crossing the moor in those dark hours when the powers of evil are exalted (Doyle, Bronte)
3. Anything worth saying, sounds even more impressive in iambic pentameter (Shakespeare)
4. The London poor are a whimsical class populated by fallen gentlemen, endearing orphans, and picturesque villains (Dickens)
5. The country is disproportionately inhabited by single men in possession of good fortunes, all of whom are in want of wives (Austen)
6. All wild, gay young bucks come automatically furnished with imperturbable butlers (Wodehouse, Sayers) 
7. Portals to alternative worlds are everywhere (Carroll, C.S. Lewis, Rowlings)
8. The best way to conceal your pain and inner despair is behind a veil of acerbic wit (Pope, Swift, Waugh)
9. When caught in a potentially ridiculous situation, tell a preposterous lie and then hope for the best (Wilde, Congreve, Sheridan)
10. Tea makes everything better - and if tea doesn't work, there's always a pub nearby (Wodehouse)
11. The best death is a heroic death (Malory, Wren), but if you can't manage that, at least endeavor to die tragically from thwarted love (Bronte, McEwan)
12. Everything's funnier in drag (Shakespeare)
13. True nobility is determined by character, not by birth (Scott, Kipling, Stevenson)
14. The best poet is a tormented poet (Byron, Shelley)
15. Forests are generally untrustworthy places, inclined to be teaming with fairies, green men, and merry-making highwaymen (Spenser, Shakespeare, Robin Hood)
16. If Scotland Yard can't solve your crime, there's sure to be an innocuous lord/vicar/old lady/foreign visitor prepared to step in (Christie, Sayers, Chesterton)
17. Revenge is best served up raw and bloody (Marlowe, Johnson, Shakespeare)
18. Nice girls get their reward in heaven (Milton, Richardson), but naughty girls get their reward here on earth (Chaucer, Cleland)
19. In a world ruled by chaos, the only honorable way to cope is to maintain a stiff upper lip and carry on (Waugh)