70+ Ways to Terrify a Teacher in 5 Words or Less

 

This one goes out to all my teacher peers who find themselves in a continual state of stress and can't figure out why. You aren't imaging things, my friends - the fear is real! 

1. Here’s another district initiative
2. You're getting a new student
3. Let’s analyze the data
4. “Just differentiate more”
5. Where’s your lesson plan?
6. Grades are due today
7. Meetings will be during prep
8. We’ll need you to cover
9. We’re adding more required trainings
10. We are short staffed
11. Your sub has cancelled
12. There are no subs
13. Please avoid requesting leave
14. “You’ll be floating”
15. Today is your observation
16. There's a full moon
17. The day after Halloween
18. “I’m going to throw up”
19. "My head itches"
20. The copier is jammed/broken
21. No more copy paper
22. The internet is down
23. The A/C is out
24. The cage is empty
25. School starts next week
26. Tomorrow is Monday
27. Year round schooling
28. We’re shortening winter break
29. We’re extending the school year
30. It didn't snow
31. No more snow days!
32. The soda machine is empty
33. We’re out of coffee
34. Indoor recess today
35. You've been assigned lunch duty
36. “Can we use glitter?”
37. “I forgot my meds”
38. Let’s start with an icebreaker
39. It's testing season
40. Principal needs to see you
41. Parent has requested a meeting
42. We’ve received a complaint
43. “My child told me …”
44. "My mom/dad says ..."
45. They’re bringing their advocate
46. The parent is always right
47. Stomach flu is going around
48. It's probably just a cold
49. S/he's a spitter/runner/biter
50. S/he has a sibling
51. You taught my parent
52. You're not eligible for retirement
53. Just follow the script
54. Teach to the test
55. We're going virtual/hybrid
56. No holidays this month
57. You'll be chaperoning
58. Mandatory committee assignments
59. We’re introducing new software
60. We're adopting new standards
61. We’re piloting a new initiative
62. We're overenrolled this year
63. We're increasing class sizes
64. No raises this year
65. Budgets are being tightened
66. Anyone can teach
67. It's just a little mold
68. You can't teach that anymore
69. That book is now banned
70. That might offend someone
71. "I'm having trouble breathing"
72. Gang activity is increasing
73. "There's going to be a fight"
74. "S/he has a gun"
75. Please shelter in place
76. This is not a drill