Tonight I'm Gonna Cry Playlist: Songs That Make Me Cry

What is it about some songs that make us bawl like a baby?

• Is it regret? (Cats in the Cradle, Wasted Time, The Living Years, Yesterday)  
• Death? (Amazing Grace, Tears in Heaven)  
• Doomed Love? (Somewhere) 
• Lost Love? (Against the Odds, Weekends in New England) 
• Lost youth? (It Was a Very Good Year, 100 Years, I Loved These Days) 
• The glory/horror of war? (Brothers in Arms, Some Gave All, Goodnight Saigon, Taps) 
• Patriotism? (The Battle Hymn of the Republic, America) 
• Songs that fill you with hope that, no matter how bad things get, there's something better Over the Rainbow? (What a Wonderful World, Imagine, Rainbow Connection). 
• Sometimes, the words don't even matter - all it takes is a heart-breaking chord change or crescendo to tear at our hearts, like Samuel Barber's haunting Adajio for Strings or Jeff Buckley's wrenching versoin of Hallelujah.  

Then again, does it matter? The point is that whenever I feel the need for a good, purging cry, these songs are guaranteed to deliver the tears.

1. 100 Years, Five for Fighting
2. Adagio for Strings, Samuel Barber
3. Afterglow, Genesis
4. Against All Odds, Phil Collins
5. All By Myself, Eric Carmen
6. All I Ask of You, Phantom of the Opera
7. Allegretto, Symphony No. 7, Beethoven
8. Amazing Grace, any version
9. America, Ray Charles
10. American Pie, Don McLean
11. Angel, Sarah McLachlan
12. Are You Lonesome Tonight, Elvis Presley
13. At 17, Carly Simon
14. Ave Maria, any version
15. Auld Lang Syne, any version
16. Battle Hymn of the Republic, any version
17. Big John, Tennessee Ernie Ford
18. Bird on the Wire, Leonard Cohen
19. Blue in Green, Miles Davis
20. Both Sides Now, Joni Mitchell
21. The Boxer, Simon and Garfunkle
22. Brandy, Looking Glass
23. Bridge Over Troubled Water, Simon & Garfunkel
24. Bring Him Home, from Les Miserables
25. Brothers in Arms, Dire Straits
26. Candle in the Wind, Elton John
27. Canon in D, Pacelbel
28. Cat's in the Cradle, Harry Chapin
29. Crazy Love, Van Morrison
30. Crying, Roy Orbison
31. The Crying Game, Boy George
32. The Dance, Garth Brooks
33. Dang Me, Roger Miller
34. Danny Boy, any version
35. Dante's Prayer, Loreena McKennitt
36. Days, Elvis Costello
37. The Death of Falstaff, from Henry V
38. Desperado, Eagles
39. Don't Cry for Me Argentina, from Evita
40. Don't Take the Girl, Tim McGraw
41. Dream, Bob Dylan
42. Dust in the Wind, Kansas
43. Eleanor Rigby, Beatles
44. Empty Chairs and Empty Tables, from Les Miserables
45. Empty Garden, Elton John
46. Evergreen, Barbra Streisand
47. Everybody Hurts, REM
48. Fanfare for the Common Man, Aaron Copeland
49. Fields of Gold, Eva Cassidy
50. Fire and Rain, James Taylor
51. The First Time Ever I Saw Your Face, Roberta Flack
52. Fix You, Cold Play
53. Forget Her, Jeff Buckley
54. The Gambler, Kenny Rogers
55. Georgia on my Mind, Ray Charles
56. The Ghost of Tom Joad, Bruce Springsteen
57. Good Riddance, Green Day
58. Goodnight Saigon, Billy Joel
59. Greatest Love of All, Whitney Houston
60. Growin' Up, Bruce Springsteen
61. Hallelujah, Jeff Buckley (or Pentatonix)
62. Hello, Adele
63. Hurt, Johnny Cash
64. Hushabye Mountain, from Chitty Chitty Bang Bang
65. I Can't Make You Love Me, Bonnie Raitt
66. I Don't Want to Miss a Thing, Aerosmith
67. I Grieve, Peter Gabriel
68. I Have Nothing, Whitney Houston
69. I Dreamed a Dream, from Les Miserables
70. I Was a Fool to Let You Go, Barry Manilow
71. I Won't Let Go, Rascal Flatts
72. If, Bread
73. If I Die Young, The Band Perry
74. If You're Reading This, Tim McGraw
75. I'll Stand By You, Glee
76. I'm A Fool To Want You, Carly Simon
77. I'm Moving On, Rascal Flatts
78. Imagine, John LennonIn Your Eyes, Peter Gabriel
79. The Impossible Dream, Man of LaMancha
80. In a New York Minute, Don Henley
81. In a Sentimental Mood, Duke Ellington
82. In the Ghetto, Elvis Presley
83. In the Wee Small Hours, Carly Simon
84. Iris, Goo Goo Dolls
85. It Was Very Good Year, Frank Sinatra
86. It's Not Easy Being Green, Ray Charles
87. It's Too Late, Carole King
88. I've Loved These Days, Billy Joel
89. Keep Holding On, Avril Lavigne
90. Landslide, Fleetwood Mac
91. Last Goodbye, Jeff Buckley
92. The Last Song, Elton John
93. The Leader of the Band, Dan Fogleberg
94. Let Her Go, Passenger
95. Let It Be, Beatles
96. Lilac Wine, Jeff Buckley
97. The Living Years, Mike and the Mechanics
98. The Long and Winding Road, Beatles
99. A Long December, Counting Crows
100. Lover, You Should Have Come Over, Jeff Buckley
101. The Luckiest, Ben Folds
102. Mad World, Michael Andrews
103. Make You Feel My Love, Adele
104. Memories, Barbra Streisand
105. A Million Fireflies, Midway State
106. Moon River, Louis Armstrong
107. Mother's Pride, George Michael
108. More than Words, Extreme
109. Mr. Bojangles, Nitty Gritty Dirt Band
110. Music of the Night, from Phantom of the Opera
111. My Eyes Adored You, Frankie Valli
112. My Funny Valentine, Sarah Vaughn
113. My Immortal, Evanescence
114. My Way, Frank Sinatra
115. Nessun Dorma, Turnadot
116. Nightswimming, REM
117. On My Own, from Les Miserables
118. One Day More, from Les Miserables
119. One Hand/One Heart, from West Side Story
120. One Moment in Time, Whitney Houston
121. Operator, Jim Croce
122. Philadelphia, Bruce Springstein
123. Promentary, from Last of the Mohicans
124. Proud to be An American, Lee Greenwood
125. Puff the Magic Dragon, Peter, Paul and Mary
126. Rainbow Connection, Kermit the Frog
127. Rainy Days and Mondays, The Carpenters
128. Redemption Song, Joe Strummer and Johnny Cash
129. Romeo & Juliet, Dire Straits
130. Say Something, Great Big World & Christina Aguilera
131. Seasons in the Sun, Terry Jacks
132. See You Again, Charlie Puth w/Wiz Khalifa
133. Send in the Clowns, Judy Collins
134. Set Fire to the Rain, Adele
135. Smoke Gets in Your Eyes, Nat King Cole
136. Solsbury Hill, Peter Gabriel
137. Some Gave All, Billy Ray Cyrus
138. Someone Like You, Adele
139. Someone You Loved, Lewis Capaldi
140. Sometimes When We Touch, Dan Hill
141. Somewhere (A Place for Us), from West Side Story
142. Somewhere Out There, Linda Rondstadt
143. Somewhere Over the Rainbow, Israel Kamakawiwo'ole
144. Sorry Seems to be the Hardest Word, Elton John
145. Sound of Silence, Simon & Garfunkle (or Pentatonix)
146. Stand By Me, BB King
147. Stardust, Glen Miller
148. Strange Fruit, Billie Holliday
149. Streets of Philadelphia, Bruce Springsteen
150. Summertime, Louis Armstrong
151. Sunrise/Sunset, from Fiddler on the Roof
152. Superman, Five for Fighting
153. Taps, any version
154. Tears in Heaven, Eric Clapton
155. There's a Place For Us, from West Side Story
156. These Three Words, Stevie Wonder
157. This Woman's Work, Maxwell (or Kate Bush)
158. Time After Time, Cyndi Lauper
159. Time in a Bottle, Jim Croce
160. Time to Say Goodbye, Sarah Brightman and Andrea Bocelli
161. Times of Your Life, Paul Anka
162. To Sir With Love, Lulu
163. Tonight I'm Gonna Cry, Keith Urban
164. True Colors, Cindi Lauper
165. Unchained Melody, Righteous Brothers
166. You Were Always on My Mind, Willie Nelson
167. Walking in Memphis, Marc Cohn
168. Wasted Time, Eagles
169. Weekends in New England, Barry Manilow
170. Weight of Lies, Avett Brothers
171. We're Just Friends, Wilco
172. What a Wonderful World, Louis Armstrong
173. What I Did For Love, Barbra Streisand
174. When I See You Again, Wiz Khalifa
175. When I Was Your Man, Bruno Mars
176. When Somebody Loved Me, Sara McLachlan
177. When the Party's Over, Billie Eilish
178. Who Wants to Live Forever, Queen
179. Wildfire, Michael Martin
180. The Wind, Cat Stevens
181. Wishing You Were Here, Chicago
182. Wreck of the Edmund Fitzgerald, Gorden Lightfoot
183. Yesterday, Beatles
184. You Are So Beautiful, Joe Crocker
185. You Don't Know Me, Ray Charles
186. You Raise Me Up, Josh Groban

"Guilty Pleasure" Movies

It's easy to pick awful movies; much more difficult to fess up to those "guilty pleasure" movies.  You know - the ones you hide under your coat at the video store so that no one sees you check them out.  The ones you quickly click away from when someone walks into the room.  The ones you lie about when friends call: "Oh, I'm just watching a movie.  Yeah - um - Private Ryan."   The ones that you love, but that you're not willing to publicly admit you love.

Here are some of my guilty pleasures; feel free to snigger.

1. The 10 Commandments.  It's epic-ly cheesy, but there's something about the combination of over-the-top costuming, shameless overacting, and goofy special effects that keeps me coming back every Easter for more. 
2. St. Elmo's Fire.  Actually, pretty much any of those movies staring the "brat pack":  16 Candles, Pretty in Pink ....  They were all so painfully '80s and yet I can't help watching them everytime they come on television.  Maybe it's the music? the fashion? the 80s angst? the really big hair?
3. Planet of the Apes.  I don't even listen to the dialog anymore - I just enjoy the monkey makeup and the many fabulous quotes, to include a favorite of mine: "Take your stinking paws off me, you damned dirty ape!"
4. Army of Darkness.  Not sure I'm allowed to include this on the list, since - unlike the other movies on this list - it was made with the intention of being bad.  But something funny happened along the way: they made a movie so goofily hilarious that it's practically irresistable.
5. Starship Troopers.  Recently named one of the worst movies ever made, yet there's something captivating about the timeless "man vs. bugs from outer space" theme that keeps sucking me in.
6. 9 to 5.  It's everything that's wrong/right about movies made during the 70s* - socially preachy conflict (sexual harassment) + questionable 70s icons in starring roles (Jane Fonda, Lily Tomlin, Dolly Parton) + the same incredibly juvenile slapstick sense of humor that brought us movies like Every Which Way But Loose, pairing Clint Eastwood with a monkey. And yet, I never tire of watching the gals avenge themselves on their sexist rat of a boss, played by ubiquitous '70s baddie Dabney Coleman.  (*Okay, technically the movie was released in 1980, but that means it was written/filmed in the '70s.)
7. Three Muskateers + cheesy pirate/swordfighting movies.  The acting is extraneous, the time period is inconsequential, the plot is immaterial; they have me at "swordfight."  Honorable mentions in this category include Highlander, Conan the Barbarian, and the truly terrible Cutthroat Island. 
8. Dirty Dancing + all cheesy dance/cheerleading/band/music movies.  You know, those movies where the plucky young lead has to conquer obstacles in order to achieve thier dream of becoming a successful dancer/singer/musician/cheerleader.  (And, along the way, win the heart of their "other side of the tracks" love interest.)  Think Fame, Flashdance, Center Stage, Drum Line, etc.  People knock this genre for being so predictable, but that's what I love about it: a little music, a bit of a love interest, and a happy ending.  All that's missing is a bit with a dog.
9. Muppet movies. I never specified that "guilty pleasures" have to be bad movies, just embarassing!  One way or another I've managed to furtively enjoy many of these - The Mupppet Movie, The Great Muppet Caper, Muppet Treasure Island, A Muppet Christmas Carol - and foudn them to be uniformly entertaining and charming.  I'm just not necessarily ready to share this with others.
10. Anything starring Goldie Hawn.  You know what I'm talking about.  Overboard.  Wildcats.  Swing Shift.  Private Benjamin.  They're preposterous, they're formulaic, and they're almost always insulting to women. (The ditzy character GH inevitably plays was, I think, meant to be a throwback to The Honeymooners and All In the Family, a period when Hollywood considered ditzy female characters to be entertaining rather than condescending and insulting).   And yet, everytime they pop up on one of the cable channels, I find myself watching ... while simultaneously keeping one finger poised on the "back" button so that, at any time, I can quickly return to The History Channel should someone unexpectedly enter the room. 

So, what are your "guilty pleasures"?

Insults of the Famous and Literate

Think you're pretty adept with witty insults, taunts and put-downs?  The following collection of insults by the famous and literate is guaranteed to leave you humbled, and wholly amused.

1. “He has all the virtues I dislike and none of the vices I admire.” -Winston Churchill
2. “A modest little person, with much to be modest about.” -Winston Churchill
3. "A sheep in sheep's clothing." - Winston Churchill
4. "I have never killed a man, but I have read many obituaries with great pleasure.” -Clarence Darrow
5. “He has never been known to use a word that might send a reader to the dictionary.” -William Faulkner (about Ernest Hemingway)
6. “Does he really think big emotions come from big words?” -Ernest Hemingway (about William Faulkner)
7. “Thank you for sending me a copy of your book; I’ll waste no time reading it.” -Moses Hadas
8. "This is not a novel to be tossed aside lightly. It should be thrown with great force." - Dorothy Parker
9. “He can compress the most words into the smallest idea of any man I know.” -Abraham Lincoln
10. “I’ve had a perfectly wonderful evening. But this wasn’t it.” -Groucho Marx
11. “I didn’t attend the funeral, but I sent a nice letter saying I approved of it.” -Mark Twain
12. “He has no enemies, but is intensely disliked by his friends.” -Oscar Wilde
13. "Some cause happiness wherever they go; others whenever they go." -Oscar Wilde
14. “I am enclosing two tickets to the first night of my new play; bring a friend…. if you have one.” - George Bernard Shaw to Winston Churchill
15. “Cannot possibly attend first night, will attend second… If there is one.” - Winston Churchill, in response to Bernard Shaw
16. “He is a self-made man and worships his creator.” - John Bright
17. “I’ve just learned about his illness. Let’s hope it’s nothing trivial.” - Irvin S. Cobb
18. “He is not only dull himself, he is the cause of dullness in others.” -Samuel Johnson
19. “He is simply a shiver looking for a spine to run up.” - Paul Keating
20. “He had delusions of adequacy.” - Walter Kerr
21. “There’s nothing wrong with you that reincarnation won’t cure.” -Jack E. Leonard
22. “He has the attention span of a lightning bolt.” -Robert Redford
23. “They never open their mouths without subtracting from the sum of human knowledge.” -Thomas Brackett Reed
24. “He inherited some good instincts from his Quaker forebears, but by diligent hard work, he overcame them.” -James Reston (about Richard Nixon)
25. “In order to avoid being called a flirt, she always yielded easily.” -Charles, Count Talleyrand
26. “He loves nature in spite of what it did to him.” -Forrest Tucker
27. “Why do you sit there looking like an envelope without any address on it?” -Mark Twain
28. “His mother should have thrown him away and kept the stork.” -Mae West
    “He uses statistics as a drunken man uses lamp-posts for support rather than illumination.” -Andrew Lang (1844-1912)
29. “He has Van Gogh’s ear for music.” - Billy Wilder
30. "She looked as if she had been poured into her clothes and had forgotten to say 'when.'" -P.G. Wodehouse
31. "O, she is the antidote to desire."  -William Congreve
32. "I could eat alphabet soup and shit better lyrics."  -Johnny Mercer,
33. "The problem with the gene pool is that there's no lifeguard."  -David Gerrold
34. “I can’t believe that out of 10,000 sperm, you were the quickest.” - Steven Pearl
35. "Some people stay longer in an hour than others can in a week." - William Dean Howells
36. "Pushing 40? She's hanging on for dear life." - Ivy Compton-Burnett
37. "I feel so miserable without you; it's almost like having you here." - Stephen Bishop
38. "I have never liked him and I always will." - David Clark
39. "I regard you with an indifference bordering on aversion." -Robert Louis Stevenson
40. "He's completely unspoiled by failure." -Noel Coward
41. "Fine words! I wonder where you stole them." - Jonathan Swift
42. "You had to stand in line to hate him." - Hedda Hopper
43. "The trouble with her is that she lacks the power of conversation but not the power of speech." -George Bernard Shaw
44. "There, but for the grace of God, goes God." - Winston Churchill
45. "Some folks are wise and some are otherwise." -Tobias George Smolett
46. "She never lets ideas interrupt the easy flow of her conversation." - Jean Webster
47. "Ordinarily he is insane.  But he has lucid moments when he is only stupid." - Heinrich Heine
48. "She has been kissed as often as a police-court Bible, and by much the same class of people." - Robertson Davies
49. "He was trying to save both his faces." -John Gunther
50. "Failure has gone to his head." - Wilson Mizner
51. "God was bored by him." - Victor Hugo
52. "He had delusions of adequacy." - Walter Kerr
53. "He has no enemies, but he is intensely disliked by his friends." - Oscar Wilde
54. "He is as good as his word - and his word is no good." -Seamus MacManus
55. "He is one of those people who would be enormously improved by death." - H.H. Munro
56. "He was happily married - but his wife wasn't." - Victor Borge
57. "She not only kept her lovely figure, she's added so much to it." -Bob Fosse
58. "He never chooses an opinion; he just wears whatever happens to be in style." - Leo Tolstoy
59. "He was born stupid, and greatly increased his birthright." - Samuel Butler
60. "He was distinguished for ignorance; for he had only one idea and that was wrong." - Benjamin Disraeli
61. "That woman speaks eight different languages and can't say 'no' in any of them." - Dorothy Parker
62. "He has not so much brain as ear wax." -William Shakespeare
63. "He's a tried and valiant soldier.  So is my horse." -William Shakespeare
64. "Her beauty and her brain go not together." - William Shakespeare
65. "Better a witty fool than a foolish wit." - William Shakespeare

(I gathered these from sources all over the internet so can't vouch for their accuracy; only their entertainment value!)

A Thousand Words: Cookie Monster

Sometimes change is a good thing. 
Sometimes things are fine just the way they are.

Book Look: The Monk, Matthew Lewis

Don't be scared off by the book's 18th century publication date: this story is great fun - as shocking and titillating as anything in modern lit. The Monk has it all: scandal, conspiracy, murder, villainy, hypocrisy, incest, rape, betrayal, ghosts, demons, corpses, and enough gruesome detail to rival an episode of CSI.

The story is set in Spain during the time of the Inquisition, and focuses on the corruption and eventual destruction of Ambrosio, "The Man of Holiness", a Capuchin monk whose outward piety conceals vanity and a lust for power, from which seeds grow spiraling tendrils of evil that eventually destroy him, with a little help from Old Smokey himself. (Lucifer actually makes a juicy cameo appearance at the end - don't miss it!).

Love how "meaty" the story is: within the main narrative, Lewis embeds digressions and side stories that add to the entertainment and general spookiness of the story. Caught up in the main narrative (in which the Brave Cavalier Lorenzo attempts to woo the Innocent Virgin Antonia; Noble Raymond attempts to rescue his True Love Agnes from the schemes of Villainous Family Members and an Evil Prioress; and the Mad Monk Ambrosio is gradually corrupted), you may be tempted to skip these parts, but don't! Elvira's sad history, the story of Lorenzo's brush with bloodthirsty bandits in the forests of Germany, and especially the tale of the Bleeding Nun and the Wandering Jew are fully as diverting as the main narrative.

Love, too, how the author incorporates all the stereotypical elements of gothic fiction - mad monks, wicked nuns, brave knights, naïve virgins, scheming family members, crypts, corpses, and sorcery - while still managing to create a story that feels fresh, literate, and well-crafted. Lewis may have picked a dubious genre, but there's nothing dubious about his plotting or prose. Indeed, Ambrosio's decline is presented in so gradual and logical a fashion, will shock you almost as much as it shocks him at the end to realize how far he's fallen, and how fast.

Finally, love how the book lays the foundation for so much literature that's come since. Reading along, you'll catch definite whiffs of Bronte, Poe, Hawthorn, Byron, Eco, and Perez-Reverte, among others. Were I a scholar, would love to research how this text provides a bridge between the old-style horror of medieval morality plays and modern lit.

Because, beneath the shock and titillation, this is at its core a morality play, in which evildoers are punished and virtue is rewarded. (Except for a few necessarily tragic consequences, because evil can't happen without victims, after all). A little spooky, a little melodramatic, a lot entertaining, and good triumphs over evil yet again ... what more do you want from a book?

20 Tips That You've Booked a Dubious Hotel

What's sad is how many of these I've draw from personal experience!

1. Toilet has a slot for quarters
2. Beds move without quarters
3. Towels stolen from other hotels
4. Someone has written "redrum" on the bathroom mirror
5. Gideon Bible is chained to the bedside table
6. Roach motels have "no vacancy" signs in windows
7. Nearest tourist attraction is "Mount Trash"
8. Bloodstains
9. Poorly disguised CIA surveillance vehicle in parking lot
10. Desk clerk has creepy relationship with his mom
11. Pay-per-view menu includes Psycho
12. Gift store sells syringes
13. Beds made with Batman sheets
14. Bathroom contains complimentary bottles of shampoo, lotion, bleach
15. Car mirror "tree" deodorizer hanging from TV aerial
16. Rotary phone with "9" missing
17. Brochures for local bail bondmen in front lobby
18. Dust turns out to be fingerprint powder
19. Only fresh oxygen is coming from mildew in bathroom
20. Local ghost tour passes right beneath your window

70 Random Acts of Kindness

Hard to disagree that the world would be a better place if we all made the conscious decision to leave it a little better/happier/cleaner than we found it, every day. 

Here are some ideas for turning the ideal into action:

1. Help someone load/unload their items at the store (especially heavy and/or awkward items)
2. Return shopping carts to the corral or store
3. If the bathroom stall you're using is almost out of toilet paper, resupply it for the next person
4. Leave coupons on the shelf next to the items they discount, so the next shopper to come along can have the use of them
5. Leave that lovely parking space right in front of the store for someone else
6. Leave change in a vending machine; isn't it always a bit of a thrill to find coins in the coin return?
7. Put change in a parking meter that has expired
8. At the store, reshelve things that have been carelessly or inadvertantly misplaced
9. Take the trouble to return lost items to their owner
10. Offer to run an errand for someone
11. Let someone merge into traffic in front of you
12. Pay for the person behind you at the coffee shop/fast food line/tollbooth/bus or metro kiosk
13. If it's raining, carry a neighbor's newspaper to their front porch so it will stay dry
14. Send a thank you note for no reason to someone who deserves one - a teacher, a relative, or a community organizer
15. Bake cookies and present them as a gift to someone deserving
16. Let the guy in line behind you - the one that has only a few items - go in front of you
17. Compliment someone you usually take for granted
18. Say something nice about someone to someone else
19. Deliberately turn a negative conversation positive
20. Ask if you can help someone who seems to need help
21. Give someone the benefit of a doubt
22. Pick up litter in your neighborhood
23. Leave someplace cleaner than you found it
24. Beautify a public area
25. Offer to babysit (or pet-sit) for someone who needs a night out
26. Stop and listen to someone who needs to talk
27. Stop to help someone who's car has broken down by the side of the road
28. Help a neighbor or relative with yard work (planting in spring, mowing in summer, raking in fall, shoveling in winter)
29. Hold the door open for someone
30. Stop to help someone pick up items they've dropped
31. Pay the tab for a serviceman who is dining at the same restaurant as you
32. Send a thank you card (or package) to a serviceman overseas
33. Donate blood
34. Donate clothes, furniture, books, food, etc.
35. Offer someone a piece of gum
36. Give someone your seat on the bus/metro, even if they're not elderly or pregnant
37. Make someone laugh
38. Forgive someone for something they've done to you or someone else
39. Share something - a book, a recipe, a meal, advise
40. Cheer for someone at an event
41. Help someone learn something (or figure something out)
42. Leave a nice comment on someone's online post (Facebook, blog, review, etc.)
43. If an employee at a store has been especially helpful, tell their manager about it
44. Ask someone about their cultures/traditions
45. Pull weeds
46. Lend a pencil to someone
47. Help someone tackle a chore you know they've been dreading
48. Fix someone's favorite meal (or take them to their favorite restaurant)
49. Become an organ donor
50. Attend a neighborhood, work, or community event just to show your support
51. Throw your trash away in the theater (or at the ballpark)
52. Leave a generous tip; or, write a thank-you note to your waiter/waitress on the bill
53. Give people copies of photos you've taken of them (or their children)
54. Help someone feel better about themselves
55. Volunteer your time or resources to a worthy cause
56. Raise money for (or awareness of) a good cause
57. Help an elderly or disabled neighbor (bring their trash cans in/out, drop off their mail at the door, fetch groceries from the store for them, etc.)
58. Drop off flowers at the hospital and ask that they be delivered to someone who needs cheering up
59. Say "happy birthday" to someone who isn't expecting it
60. Brush the snow/ice off of someone else's car
61. Clean the dishes in a common area, even though you weren't the one that dirtied them
62. Let someone in a hurry cut in front of you
63. Leave your newspaper behind at the restaurant or coffee shop so that someone else can read it
64. If someone accidentally leaves their purse or laptop unattended, watch it for them until they return
65. Roll up someone's car windows if it's about to rain
66. Share your umbrella with someone
67. Help someone get (or keep) a job
68. Diffuse a tense situation
69. Compliment someone on their dog (or child)
70. If someone has thrown recycling in the trash can, move it to a recycling container

150+ Ideas for Things to Do This Weekend (Adults)

What should we do this weekend? The question can be either exhilerating or annoying.  Exhilerating, if you've got a bunch of cool alternatives to choose from.  Annoying if, after a long week of work, you're simply too pooped to be creative and come up with a bunch of options to choose from. 

I've compiled the following list over the years to prevent annoyance and ensure that my husband and I take advantage of all the entertainment options available here in our community.  Your community may not offer all of these, but perhaps even the non-starters will get you thinking about alternatives.  After all, anything's better than staying home and cleaning, right?

1. FOOD/EATING
1. try a restaurant you've never tried before
2. try an ethnic restaurant - something you've never tried before
3. try a cocktail you've never tried before
4. visit a "dive" you wouldn't ordinarily turn your nose up at
5. take a cooking class
6. prepare a new recipe
7. invent a recipe
8. bake bread
9. try to replicate a favorite restaurant recipe
10. cook meals for the week and freeze them
11. prepare a picnic
12. dine out of doors
13. visit a farmer's market
14. attend a dinner theater
15. attend a "cook-off" or "Taste of the Town" event
16. go in search of The Best ________ in town - chili, pizza, pie, etc.
17. post favorite family recipes to an internet site
18. create a family cookbook
19. prepare a meal from old family recipes
20. invite friends over for dinner
21. progressive dinner party
22. participate in a wine tasting
23. visit a winery
24. attend a wine festival
25. sharpen kitchen knives
26. have a BBQ/grill out
2. SPORTS
1. attend a high school sporting event
2. attend a college sporting event
3. attend a semi-pro sporting event
4. attend a professional sporting event
5. attend a racing event - cars, horses
6. attend a sport you've never seen before - polo, rugby, etc.
7. work out at a local gym/athletic facility
8. participate in an exercise clas
9. participate in a water sport - swimming, canoeing, kayaking, sailing
10. organize a pick-up game
1. At the YMCA/gym - basketball, volleyball, racquetball, handball, badminton, squash
2. At the park - football, baseball/softball, soccer, field hockey, rugby, lacrosse, cricket, horseshoes, croquet, frisbee/frisbee golf
3. Outside - golf, mini-golf, paintball, tennis, paintball
4. Inside - Bowling, ice skating, ice hockey, roller skating, water polo, pool/billiards, laser tag
11. participate in an individual sport
1. at the YMCA/gym - swimming, weightlifting, yoga
2. at the park - inline skating, biking, walking/hiking/jogging
3. outside - watersports, spelunking, horseback riding, rock climbing, batting practice, skateboarding
4. inside - martial arts, boxing, darts
5. water sports - surfing, swimming, canoeing, kayaking, sailing, boating, fishing, white water rafting, scubadiving, snorkling, paddleboats
6. winter sports - skiing, tubing, boarding, sledding
3. OUTDOORS/GARDENING
1. go camping
2. cook a meal over a campfire
3. go hunting/fishing
4. find a body of water and recreate (swim, canoe, kayak, sail)
5. visit a scenic area/park
6. visit a state park
7. visit a federal park
8. go birdwatching
9. take a walk/hike
10. start an herb garden
11. start a vegetable garden
12. start a flower garden
13. create a terrarium
14. fly a kite
15. fly an RC plane (or launch a rocket)
16. stargaze
17. feed the birds/ducks
18. chase fireflies
19. pick wildflowers
20. go on a nature walk sponsored by a local park
21. hunt for fossils, arrowheads, etc
22. launch (or watch) fireworks
4. COMMUNITY SERVICE/GOOD WORKS
1. volunteer at a homeless shelter, animal shelter, food kitchen, or thrift store
2. sort through your belongings and identify things to donate
3. participate in a fundraiser for a good cause
4. give blood
5. offer your services as a teacher/tutor
6. campaign for a politician or cause
7. commit random acts of kindness
5. ARTS
1. see a high school performance - drama, music
2. see a college performance - drama, music, lecture
3. see a professional concert - free/paid, indoor/outdoor
4. attend a dinner theater
5. audition for a show
6. see a movie at home
1. catch one of AFI's Top 100 films
2. an old movie you always meant to see
3. goofy old monster/horror movies
4. movies from your childhood
7. see a movie in a theater (or drive-in theater)
8. go dancing
9. learn to dance - ballroom, hiphop, etc.
10. play a musical instrument with which you are familiar
11. learn to play a musical instrument with which you are not familiar
12. sing - join a choir, participate in a sing-along, karaoke
13. attend a comedy club
14. visit a museum
15. visit a gallery
16. expose yourself to a type of music you don't usually listen to - opera, country, celtic, orchestra/classical, etc.
17. take a class to improve an artistic ability you already possess
18. take a class to learn an artistic skill you do not possess
19. start a new art project -
1. drawing, sketching, painting, cartooning
2. photography
3. needlecraft/textiles - sewing, xstitch, embroidery, knitting, crocheting, quilting, rug making, tiedying, weaving
4. woodcraft - carpentry, carving, whittling, woodburning, turning
5. sculpting/modeling - sculpting, pottery, mosaicwork
6. papercraft - scrapbooking, calligraphy, collage, cardmaking, stamping, origami, paper mache,
7. plantcraft - basketry, bonzai, flower arranging, flowerpressing
8. glasswork - stained glass, etching, glass painting
9. other - jewelrymaking, beading, balloon animals, ironworking, silversmithing, rubbings
6. INTELLECTUAL
1. attend a lecture (live or on-line)
2. listen to podcasts
3. visit the library
4. read a book
5. participate in a book discussion group
6. watch a documentary
7. tackle a writing project
1. start a journal
2. non-fiction
1. magazine article
2. professional paper
3. memoirs
3. fiction
4. internet publications
1. post to a blog (yours or someone else's)
2. post to a wiki
3. submit a reveiw to a reveiw website
5. poetry
6. write a letter
8. attend a reading/signing - book reading, poetry reading
9. participate in a writing discussion book
10. attend a cultural festival
11. attend an event sponsored by a local embassy or government office
12. attend an event sponsored by a local museum
13. attend an event sponsored by the local library 
14. start learning to speak a foreign language (or practice one you've already learned)
15. solve a puzzle (jigsaw, crossword, sudoku, etc.)
16. invent something useful
7. PROJECTS
1. spruce up a room - paint, rearrange furniture, change out accessories, etc.
2. beautify an outdoor area
3. yardwork
4. work on a collection - organize, catalog
5. work on your family's geneology
6. organize photos into albums (paper or online)
7. enter contests/sweepstakes
8. tackle a household maintenance project
9. create a list of household maintenance projects
10. download useful software/apps
11. figure out how to use a software program you haven't yet mastered
12. start a compost bin
13. clip coupons
14. clean out a closet
15. groom your pet
16. clean/fix up the car
8. ROMANTIC
1. spend the weekend at a bed & breakfast
2. watch a sunset
3. skinnydip
4. schedule time at a spa; get messages
5. bubblebaths
6. reenact a romantic scene from a favorite movie
7. snuggle next to the fireplace
8. dedicate songs to each other
9. read aloud to each other
10. have a pillow fight
11. take a moonlight walk
9. FRIENDS/FAMILY
1. babysit a child
2. babysit a pet
3. visit a family member
4. play with your dog/cat/pet
1. play board games
2. organize a card party - bridge, poker, etc.
3. organize a "games" party (Trivial Pursuit, Pictionary, etc.)
4. organize a progressive dinner party
5. organize a cocktail party
6. organize a murder mystery party
7. meet a neighbor
8. organize a neighborhood "block" party
9. organize a video game competition
10. host a sleep-over
11. visit the gravesites of family members
12. get a family portrait taken by a professional photographer
10. DESTINATIONS
1. visit the beach
2. visit the mountains
3. visit a body of water
4. visit a historic site
5. visit a public garden
6. go on a scenic drive
7. visit places that have a special meaning for you
8. visit a zoo, animal park, farm, or dude ranch
9. visit a spa
10. visit flea markets/garage sales/antique stores/antique malls in search of treasures
11. ride on a train
12. take a trip to the Big City (whatever your Big City may be!)
13. visit a cave or cavern
14. go on a cruise
15. go to an amusement park
16. go to a water park
17. go shopping
18. go window shopping for something extravagant (jewelry, ballgowns, etc.)
19. attend church
20. visit a planaterium
21. visit the local airport and watch airplanes take off/land
22. go on a pub/bar crawl
23. attend a happy hour
24. attend a fashion show
25. drive to an orchard/farm and pick your own produce
26. attend a craft show
27. attend a local or state festival/fair
28. visit a circus
29. visit an air show
30. go on a factory tour
31. attend a Rennaissance fair/festival
32. go hot air ballooning
33. sign up for a ghost tour
11. QUIRKY
1. participate in a murder mystery weekend
2. learn to juggle
3. change your hair
4. visit open houses
5. test drive new cars
6. take a long bath
7. take a nap
8. blow bubbles
9. meditate
10. join a club or group
11. go on a scavenger hunt
12. make a time capsule
13. have a water balloon fight
14. have an eating contest (hot dogs, pie)
15. make prank phone calls
16. gamble (games, races, stock market)
17. listen to people communicate via CB radio
18. play flashlight freeze tag
19. get a tattoo (or bodypiercing)
20. schedule a mani/pedi
21. look up your horoscope; learn about your astrological sign
22. learn to tell fortunes (palm reading, tarot)
23. take an online personality quiz
24. start (or add to) your bucket list
25. make an obstacle course and then run it
26. climb a tree

Book Look: The White Devil, Justin Evans

For as long as I can remember I've been a sucker for gothic thrillers, especially those set at British boarding schools. There's so much potential there - the ancient school buildings, the fog-shrouded landscapes, the sense of history frozen in time, the wafting hint of repression and unnatural obsessions. Alas, despite all that potential, no example of the genre has ever lived up to my melodramatic expectations. Either they're so poorly written that it's an effort not to gag at the overworked metaphors and lame cliches, or else they devolve into a climax so anticlimactic and silly that I find myself thinking: "Really? I've read all this way, and that's all you've got?"

And then, finally, a book that delivers the goods! White Devil is a literate, well paced, dense ghost story with characters that engage, writing that absorbs, red herrings so intriguing you'll enjoy being led astray, and a plot that keeps tightening the tension until the final sentences of the story's wholly original, wholly satisfying, wholly creepy denouement.

The story revolves around Andrew Taylor, a 17yr old American boy exiled by his outraged parents to an exclusive English boarding School after scandal and a death force him to flee his school in Connecticut. But the ghosts he's left behind are nothing compared to the ghost waiting for him at Harrow School - a pallid, spectral lad whose soul remains bound to earth by 200-year old cruelties and jealousies. Now add to the mix a bitter, washed-up poet grasping at his last chance to redeem himself; an eerily beautiful but precocious female classmate; White Devil, a bloody revenge tragedy authored by the troubled 19th century playwright John Webster; and rehearsals for a production of the life of the beautiful, scandalous, haunted Lord Byron (a Harrow School alumnus), to whom Andrew bears an uncanny resemblance ... set it all in an ancient boarding school complete with petty (and not so petty) adolescent cruelty, secrets concealed behind crumbling stone, and a string of mysterious deaths that begin soon after Andrew's arrival at Harrow ... stir vigorously, and enjoy losing yourself in a tale that is sure to keep you enthralled until the final paragraphs.

Props to Justin Evans, whose bio reveals no particular literary credentials, for producing this literate gothic thriller. It's not easy to produce extreme characters that don't come off as sterotypical, to create mood/atmosphere that doesn't come off as stagy, to construct a plot so dense that the story never stops delivering chills, and to resist the urge to wrap up the story with a full and pat disclosure that explains all. Evans writes with the mastery of language and assurance of a pro. How fortunate that the idea for this story fell into the hands of someone able to make the most of it!

20 Common Logical Fallacies

Is anyone else weary of politicians using simple rhetorical tricks to bamboozle credible/gullible citizens into believing night is day, black is white, and that whatever's wrong in the world is definitely someone else's fault?

If I ran the school system, all kids would get mandatory instruction in rhetoric, more commonly known as "the art of persuasion".  They would be required to learn both how to compose logical arguments, and how to recognize/expose logical fallacies in the arguments of others.  I believe that if U.S. citizens were to start out calling politicians for trying to bamboozle us with rhetorical "tricks", our lawmakers would be forced to assume a drastically more rational approach to governance.

Have drawn examples from real life/news to illustrate each fallacy.  Some of these examples are inevitably partisan.  To compensate, I've tried to pick examples from all points along the political spectrum, from extreme liberalism to extreme conservativism.   Please don't let your opinion of the issues distract you from the fact that each example demonstrates a flawed argument.  (How many of these have you fallen for?)

1. Drawing conclusions from too little evidence.
   DEFINITION: Generalizing from incomplete information.
   EXAMPLE: If ________ is a Republican, he must believe in tax cuts.  (Failing to acknowledge that individual Republicans may hold different opinions than their party on some issues.)
2. Overlooking alternatives. 
   DEFINITION: Saying that two items are causational (one causes the other), when in fact they merely correlate (tend to happen together; or, are both caused by the same external factor)EXAMPLE: Families that eat dinner together have students who do better in school.  (Family dinners don't cause intelligence - rather, the value system that promotes family dinners also promotes other values that positively impact school performance.)
3. Ad absurdem.
   DEFINITION: Extending an argument to the point of absurdity.
   EXAMPLE: If we let gays marry, what's next - letting people marry their dogs?
4. Ad hominem. 
   DEFINITION: Attacking a person rather than his/her qualifications. 
   EXAMPLE: What does Sarah Palin know about government?  She was a beauty queen! 
5. Ad ignorantiam.
   DEFINITION: An appeal to ignorance.  Arguing that a claim is true just because it has not been shown to be false. 
   EXAMPLE: Standardized testing will improve the academic performance of students
6. Ad misericordiam. 
   DEFINITION: An appeal to pity.  
   EXAMPLE: I was a prisoner of war; I deserve a chance to run the country that I've served so nobly.
7. Ad populum. 
   DEFINITION: Appealing to the emotion or the common consensus of the crowd. 
   EXAMPLE: Lots of folks in the Iowa straw pole voted for Huckabee - he must be a serious candidate.
8. Affirming the consequent. 
   DEFINITION: Basically, if cause = effect, then effect = cause. 
   EXAMPLE = When oil supplies are low, gas prices go up.  Gas prices are high, so oil supplies must be low.  (Doesn't acknowledge that there are other factors, besides supply, that impact oil prices.  Think about that the next time a politician argues that the key to lowering oil prices is releasing inventory from the Strategic Fuel Supply.)
9. Begging the question/ circular argument. 
   DEFINITION = Implicitely using your conclusion as a premise
   EXAMPLE = I know intelligent design is true because the Bible says so.
10. Complex question.  
    DEFINITION = Posing a question or issue in such a way that people cannot agree or disagree with you without commiting themselves to some other claim you wish to promote.
    EXAMPLE = Do you agree that the economy has gotten worse since the Democrats took office? (If you say no, you're admitting to a certain level of dimness; if you say yes, you're implying that you agree that Democrats were the cause.)
11. Denying the antecedent. 
    DEFINITION = If p means q, then not-p means not-q
    EXAMPLE = When a country is under despotic rule, people revolt.  People in China are not currently staging revolutions; therefore, the country is not under despotic rule.
12. False dilemma. 
    DEFINITION = A generic term for a questionable conclusion about cause and effect.
    EXAMPLE = If we cut government spending, Medicade will suffer.  (Doesn't acknowledge that government spending can be cut without touching Medicade.)
13. Non sequitur.
    DEFINITION = A conclusion that is not a reasonable inference from the evidence.
    EXAMPLE = Democrats are pro-choice.  They hate Christians.
14. Persuasive definition/loaded definition. 
    DEFINITION = Defining a term in a way that appears to be straightforward but that is in fact loaded/biased.
    EXAMPLE = The Tea Party is dedicated to the issues that matter to ordinary Americans.   (Who are these "ordinary Americans" they speak of?)
15. Poisoning the well. 
    DEFINITION = Using loaded language to disparage an argument before even mentioning it
    EXAMPLE = Some liberal diehards still clinging to the 1960s will tell you that American needs to resume its isolationist stance towards the rest of the world.
16. Post hoc, ergo protor hoc. 
    DEFINITION = Literally, "after this, therefore because of this" - arguing that because something happened after something else, the first thing must have caused the second. 
    EXAMPLE = The economy got worse after George Bush took office, so clearly it's his fault.
17. Red herring. 
    DEFINITION = Introducing an irrelevant or secondary subject to divert attention from the main subject
    EXAMPLE = Obama wasn't born in the United States! And he's a muslim!
18. Straw man. 
    DEFINITION = Characterizing an opposing view so that it is easy to refute.
    EXAMPLE = Do you want politicians telling you how you have to spend your money?
19. Weasel word. 
    DEFINITION = Changing the meaning of a word in your argument so that your conclusion can be maintained, though its meaning may have shifted radically
    EXAMPLE = Torture is unethical!  But waterboarding is okay because it's not technically "torture" 

Book Look: Lady Chatterly's Lover, D.H. Lawrence

Am choking down my respect for D.H. Lawrence and my fear of being flamed by fellow English majors everywhere in order to go public with my honest but politically incorrect impression of this work: If you actually read the parts before, in between, and after the sex scenes, Lady Chatterly's Lover turns out to be a rather pompous, tedious tirade on how industrialism, socialism, feminism, intellectualism, modernism, and the class system are sucking all the tenderness from the world.

Goodness knows I wanted to be more impressed - I've enjoyed Lawrence in the past- but in this instance I found the author's prose style annoyingly repetitive, his characters unsympathetic, and his "evidences" of society's decline strident, hyperbolic, and unconvincing.

I understand that in a post-WWI society, Lawrence might justly have been upset about industrialization destroying pretty rural towns, about "smart young things" embracing a sort of pretentious intellectualism over common sense, about artists embracing modernity over tradition, etc., but this overly-pedantic volume seems more misanthropic than anthropologic. Can Lawrence really believe the world would be a better place if only humans would eschew money, intellectualism, politics and technology in order to revert to a minimalist, naturalistic, essentially animalistic existence? Or is he trying to say that since this is as unrealistic an option as the alternative, there really is no hope for humanity? Either way, this reads as a the bitter rant of a misanthrope rather than what I hoped/expected it to be: an innovative and daring exploration of the nature of love, passion, compassion, honor, duty and society.

Admit I can't help wondering: if it weren't for the book's notorious reputation, would anyone still be reading this? Or would it have slipped into place among the ranks of "lesser" works by otherwise great authors?

40 Ways to Tell Someone You Love Them (Without Saying the Words)

"I love you" may be powerful words, but even more powerful are the non-verbal things you can do every day to make your loved one understand how much you care for them.

1. Solicit their opinion
2. Respect their opinion
3. Help them tackle a chore you know they've been dreading
4. Quietly polish off some of their chores, so they can relax
5. Fix their favorite meal
6. Wear an outfit you know they like on you
7. Choose a movie you know they'll like, even if it's not exactly your cup of tea
8. Make them smile/laugh
9. Compliment them on their appearance
10. Compliment them on something they do well
11. Compliment them in front of someone else
12. Compliment them to other people when they're not even there to hear it
13. When they are on the right side of an argument, admit it gracefully
14. If they need to relax, let them - even if it means postponing some chores or errands
15. Don't drag them on errands they clearly won't enjoy
16. Fix their coffee the way they like it
17. Occassionally bring them a little gift for no reason
18. Stuff a note in their backpack or briefcase wishing them a happy day
19. Share stories you know they'll enjoy
20. Keep stories to yourself that you know will unnecessarily anger or worry them
21. Give them a hug
22. Squeeze their hand
23. Let them read the best part of the newspaper first (before you)
24. Let them listen to their favorite radio station while in the car
25. Care about what it is they do for a living
26. Let them know you empathize with their worries/concerns
27. Let them know what they do that makes your life better
28. Let them know what it is they do that makes the world a better place
29. Thank them for something they do as a matter of course
30. Greet them with a smile, even when you're in a bad mood (assuming it's not their fault)
31. Give them the benefit of a doubt
32. Forgive them for something they've done
33. Let them have the last cookie/piece of cake/piece of pizza
34. Give them a backrub
35. Treat the members of their family with respect, even the ones you don't like
36. Treat their family traditions with respect, even the ones you don't agree with
37. Spend a weekend doing something they want to do
38. Make sure your vacation includes activities that they will find enjoyable/restful
39. Call them up just to share a funny story or happy thought
40. Say "good night" and kiss them before you go to bed, every night